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Climbing and Relationships...


Greg_W

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Had an interesting debate last night before the Beckey slideshow with a climbing buddy's wife. How do we justify what we do for fun? I personally don't try. However, some people do and that's okay. Here's the question: would you stop climbing if your spouse asked you to?

 

FWIW, here's a great quote that was in the most recent Black Diamond catalog: "If someone were to ask me to quit climbing because tehy love me so much and don't want to lose me, I'd be out the door so fast, that someone wouldn't have time to say adios."

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I most likely wouldn't stop climbing. It is a hobby, a pastime of mine. Anyone that really loves you would not want you to stop doing what you love. That's selfish on their part. I could agree, however, to tone down the dangerousness of my endeavors. I would certainly be amenable to reducing the number of outings in order to hang out with her more.

 

All this is coming from an unmarried man, so I don't know for sure if this is how I'd be if I was married. Probably.

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31 years ago if my wife had told me I had to give up climbing and all the other on the edge stuff I've done I would of told her it was my way or the highway. But she was as nuts as me, so it worked out. Now she is sane and hell my persona speaks for itself....and I am proud of it.

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Shit, Climbing isn't really that dangerous it just how you play your sport. The more you play the smarter you get... well guess it dosen't work forevery one. granted it is more dangourous then team sports.. but on the other hand I hear freinds breaking ankles distroying knees wrists ect.. and most of us who climb it seems teak tendons now and then but thats about it... and if you take a fall most likey you wont die from it just break something so really is that much diffrent then team sports..... The tools and hikers give this sport a bad rap but thats good in a way less people who climb more room at the crag and in the mountain.

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I agree with Klenke. Giving up climbing would change part of who you are. And someone who wants a relationship with you shouldn't try to change you, they should accept you for who you are. It seems to me that often when relationships don't work, the people still love eachother, but just can't handle the other person's lifestyle... The love is there, they just do not make a good couple. You need both aspects for a relationship to work. So... Just date a climber. It'll be easier! (Tho make sure to have separate lives too!)

 

fruit.gif

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Greg_W said:

So, if given the ultimatum, do you stay, and not climb, or bail?

 

If you climb just for a sport, as a leisure activity, and you can be happy not doing it, stay. If you climb because it's an integrated part of your life, more of an attidute/lifestyle you have, bail. Giving it up then would mean giving up too much of yourself. Personally? I would bail. Doesn't mean I still wouldn't love 'em though.

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adventuregal said:

Greg_W said:

So, if given the ultimatum, do you stay, and not climb, or bail?

 

If you climb just for a sport, as a leisure activity, and you can be happy not doing it, stay. If you climb because it's an integrated part of your life, more of an attidute/lifestyle you have, bail. Giving it up then would mean giving up too much of yourself. Personally? I would bail. Doesn't mean I still wouldn't love 'em though.

 

My sentiments exactly, AG. Actually, in my thinking, if they wanted you to stop climbing, having gotten involved with you as a climber, it would be like your whole relationship was a lie. Then you'd get fat and she'd cheat on you with her yoga teacher anyway; better to ditch the bitch before she sells you rack! yellaf.gif

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First Date: bivy in the rain followed by car to car trip up Mt Cruiser in the Olympics. Kiss in the parking lot lasted hours.

 

First unplanned bivy: 12,000 feet on Shasta with a 100+mph wind storm and -20 F weather in bivy sacks. My nose and her toes blistered and peeled. Had a distinct feeling things were going to work out.

 

First mid-mountain decision: The thunder in the distance started while we were at Rockfall Point on Mt Baring. She was the first to say we should just keep going and risk it. Is she for real?

 

First day ice climbing: She followed me up a WI4 and WI5 without falls, hangs or dropped screws. Yo baby!

 

Pre-honeymoon: 8 weeks treking through Patagonia and climbing in Bolivia. When the other 2 guys couldn't handle it, we went on alone, summiting the two highest peaks in Bolivia.

 

We got married 9 months after meeting and are now approaching our first anniversary and things are still great. I'm not trying to rub it in anyone's face that we're so happy, just trying to let you know that when you know, you know. Don't settle. Don't compromise. Wait for the right person to be there and you will never be sorry.

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only date or marry other climbers

 

hellno3d.gif

Then you have to take your SO on every trip or they will be insulted that you didn't invite them. That is Hell in my opinion. Only date girls who are afraid to step off the pavement and keep your time in the mountains to yourself.

 

I wouldn't be above climbing with or sleeping with climber chicks though-Adventuregal comment what do you think:

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