Scott_J

Just finished The Great Shark Hunt by Thompson Started Frank Smythe's 6 alpine/himalayan book Always reading about tropical fish, crustaceans, nematodes, etc.

dude...i think everyone will agree that you are fucking gross... you need help... some things...shouldn't be talked about in mixed company...i guess like shaved snatches....but that shit is funny...funk...aint funny....unless it is a genre... If you don't like to read what is written don't fucking read it.

All you need is one square per wipe. Fold square in half and then in half again. Find solid corner and cut out a tiny bit of corner very carefully. SAVE THIS CORNER ITS VERY IMORTANT IN THE WIPE PROCESS. Unfold the folds and put finger of choice thru hole created by the corner removal. Run finger thru butt to cleanse yourself. Now fold the paper around finger to remove shit. Finally take the corner that you saved and use it to clean under your finger nail and around cuticle.Alpine lite and not enough paper to worry about in the bush.

Answering Machine Messages: 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. 8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call. 7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. 6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money. 5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message. 4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner. 3. Hi. Now YOU say something. 2. Hi. I'm probably home I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. 1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

Cavey you are back on. I am leaving will return with all is well. As for the majority of this board, well you know how I feel. Stay safe and keep in touch as soon as I get back. I'll send a note to you at work sisu, its was american needs!

Between you me and my bud we have KIA's , wounded in action, and thankfully no MIA's on all three sides. Have fun at the picnic Erik.

Awww, Erik, I got a buddy sitting here reading this. He has been there in the past few months, and he is really happy to see you taking advantage of the freedom that he and his brothers and sisters in arms defended. By the way don't introduce yourself as Erik if you see me climbing with someone you don't recognize, 'cause it may be him and I cannot take responsibility for your bodily damage.

When people try to fuck with you its better to win a little at a time from behind. That way they never know who it is. They may suspect but they ain't caught you. As my neighbor told me one day after getting beat up, "Sisu don't go at them ffrom the front, get a knife and stick them in the back then twist it." Quote from Mr. Garengalli. I've remember that ever since, and I was about 7 at the time.

Sisu, better make sure you wrote that, or ScottPissHead will call ya on it. The little pussy pissant is the hall monitor. Wish we were still in school, I'd stuff his fucking fat head in the urinal and flush it. Why stop at the urinal...let go to the dumpster.

1. Passed an electro magnet over the hard drive and floppies to destroy masters thesis 2. Put contents of beaver intestine in drink of boss to give him beaver fever. 3. Sprayed graphite into the distributer cap of a truck. 4. Sent sex material to a man's address addressed to his wife. 5. Put moist warm fox turds in a private office.(awww) 6. Put popped pop corn in a thermos of coffee so when poured out it would look like puke. 7. Put varity of ground pepper into a can of Coppenhagen.(gives it more snap) 8. Bashed the headlights out of a car to prevent them from leaving work.(winter in Alaska is dark) AWWWW the list could go on and on and on. Just don't piss me off. hahahahahahaha

5. Getting a "goood moorning" from co-workers you have no respect for. 4. Having meetings at the end of the work day(I was on salary)and having it run an hour over the normal work day. 3. Working with a nark. 2. Having a lying piece of shit for a your CEO.(say one thing to you and another to someone else, and when confronted tell you that you misunderstood the SOB) 1. Working with someone that takes the 'atta boy' but contributes nill to the projects outcome.

It's astroglide moron, and I only use it to ream out your mother's dry hole. And I know exactly what thread you started that shit on, but you brought your pussification of cuss words over here too, so I figured I call it like I see it, closet-case. That figures only could get a dead woman to do it with ya, huh. I bet the best part of you slid down your mama's leg.

Sisu please spell out your fucking cuss words or stay the fuck away. You look like a complete moron starting a thread about the "F-word" and then not even using it. God-damn your a weak ass little pussy. Whatsamatta? You afraid the kiddies are gunna read the bad words you write. It's spelled F U C K and A S S H O L E. Got it, Cunt!? Hey KY butt fuck, you posted on the wrong thread for history with the f word. Too busy giving yourself a butt fuck with a cucumber. You fucking gay fuck nut son of a bitch that everyone in the Corps used for a dick whip.

Charlie, again, what did I do to you? I didn't even know who you were until you started slinging shit my way this morning. I don't understand the people on this board at times. This is SPRAY... like spray from a boat or the shit sprayers on a farm. It just goes out there. You can either choose to ignore it or go to battle, or better yet try to get someone all up in arms so they are spraying like a wild A******. Now, that is fun. Some of the members on this board are so fucking easy to get riled up its a game to see who I can piss off today. Shit I don't even read the site...I just scan to see what they have retorted to and then I spray and spray and laugh and laugh and laugh. This board actually got me thru the death of a family member because of the spray. I got to sling shit and get shit slung back. It took me away for the pain for a time. Spray away and pray that Ray is back another day. Spray without the CAVEMAN has lost its luster.

Statistics England is hiring mathematician. Three recent graduates are invited for an interview: One has a degree in pure mathematics, the 2nd in applied math and the 3rd a B.Sc. in statistics. All three are asked the same question: "What is 1/3+2/3?" The pure mathematician: "It's one." The applied mathematician: "It's 0.999999999." The statistician: "What do you want it to be?"

"American Pi" all rights reserved lyric © 1997, 1998, 2000 Lawrence Mark Lesser May be sung to the tune of Don McLean’s “American Pie” CHORUS: Find, find the value of pi, starts 3 point 1 4 1 5 9. Good ol’ boys gave it a try, but the decimal never dies, The decimal never dies......... In the Hebrew Bible we do see the circle ratio appears as three, And the Rhind Papyrus does report four-thirds to the fourth, & 22 sevenths Archimedes found with polygons was a good upper bound. The Chinese got it really keen: three-five-five over one thirteen! More joined the action with arctan series and continued fractions. In the seventeen-hundreds, my oh my, the English coined the symbol PI, Then Lambert showed it was a lie to look for rational pi. He started singing .......... (Repeat Chorus) Late eighteen-hundreds, Lindemann shared why a circle can’t be squared But there’s no tellin’ some people -- can’t pop their bubble with Buffon’s needle, Like the country doctor who sought renown from a new “truth” he thought he found. The Indiana Senate floor read his bill that made ? four. That bill got through the House with a vote unanimous! But in the end the statesmen sighed, “It’s not for us to decide,” So the bill was left to die Like the quest for rational pi. They started singing ........ (Repeat Chorus) That doctor’s ? in the sky dreams may not look so extreme If you take a look back: math’maticians long thought that Deductive systems could be complete and there was one true geometry. Now in these computer times, we test the best machines to find ? to a billion places that so far lack pattern’s traces. It’s great when we can truly see math as human history-- That adds curiosity...... easy as ?! Let’s all try singing..... (Repeat Chorus)

A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, won't eat it if they know what it is - so does not tell them His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner?" "You'll see", says his dad. They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking what they're eating. "Ok," says her dad, "here's a hint: Its what your mother sometimes calls me. The girl suddenly screams at her little brother, "Spit it out! It's asshole!"

There are only 10 times in history the "f word" has been acceptable for use: 10. "Scattered @#$%ing showers.... My ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC 9. "How the @#$% did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC 8. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 566 7. "Look at all them @#$%ing Indians!" - Custer, 1876 6. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926 5. "Where the @#$% am I?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937 4. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938 3. "What the @#$% was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 2. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$%'s going to find out?" - Bill Clinton, 1999 And number 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1. "Geez, I didn't think they were that @#$% serious" - Saddam Hussein, 2003

Dang Sisu, it's just like pulling the string on a Chatty Kathy doll! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha fuck you ade

You fucker that was my truck parked in front of the hardward store.

The US Census was being taken in SE Alaska. The Census man knocked on Lena and Ole's door. Lena answers. The Census man asked the standard questions and finishes the standard form. Then he asks Lena if it would be alright to ask personal questions about her and Ole's sex life. He states that this is strictly voluntary. Lena thinks for a few minutes and agrees to answer the questions. QUESTION 1: How often do you and Ole have sex. ANSWER: Vell, Ole and is a randy little Svede so ve skrew 4 to 6 times a veek. The Census man marks down answers on his forms. QUESTON 2: Its been established that you and Ole have a healthy sex life. So I need to know what form of birth control you use. The pill, condom, rhythm method, etc. ANSWER: Ve use the stool and saucer method. The census man is taken aback. He has never heard of the Stool and Saucer method. So he is forced to ask: What is the Stool and Saucer Method. Lena's answer: Vell, tat Ole is a short virey Svede, so ve do it standing up. Ve get naked and Ole stands on a stool. Vhen his eyes get as big as saucers I kick da stool out from under him.

Anatomy Prof asked a question: What part of the human body will increase 12 times normal size. Class: There is a nervous tension and no one volunteers an answer. Professor: Mary, what is the answer. Mary (blushing): Doctor I cannot answer your question its just too embarrassing to answer. Professor: Mary, the correct answer is the pupil of the eye. And I wish to add that some day, Mary, you are going to be a very disappointed woman.

Anatomy class First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: the first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

What color mask would you wear? If you plan on robbing a place in seattle just go in with a suit and tie on. Open an account and over draw the damn thing. Most of the banks will extend so much credit for a white guy in a suit and tie that its sickening. Last time I checked two major credit cards, a drivers license, and pass port or birth cert cost 1500 to 2800 american. This will get you into most banks real smooth and easy

I could not agree more. Better dead than RED. You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers. Gun Control is being able to hit the target. Fuckin hippies and liberals.