layton

Here we go, fresh from the developer: Let's start w/a nice photo of a pretty girl climbing a 5.12. She spanked my ass, that is, until she tried to follow the offwidth. Then it was all over... Now, here's an amazing 1st ascent Erik and I did,"GroundCrack" Next, here's the climb "Atman" an amazing 5.10 crack next to another great crack "Yin and Yang." I'm following this one after being tuckered from yinyang: The next three are from the Resolution Arete. It's a 23+/- pitch climb (the longest,worst,and bestclimb in redrocks). The line is the arete that starts bottom center left and heads to the summit. Necronomicon is following above Jay just below the roof pitch. The other photo is us bivying on pitch 20 cuz the descent is hard to find in the dark. Look how Money necro is and how much shit we have. Wonder why we bivied? Jason Martin is the one on the right. I wrote a TR for this climb somewhere on this site. NOW FOR THE MONEY SHOTS: My feet in the ER: Pain while getting my bandages and stitches removed: My feet when the bandages came off. Pins under right foot, pin on left foot between toe 1+2, and 2+3. My pins on the right foot were not fun for 6 weeks! And this photo is especially for MINX. I think she's a lesbian?

as soon as I can figure my mom's scanner out, the whole world will see my "equipment"

go climb some real shit instead of stupid crap such as: ruth and church mountain

This got skewd as a how to get laid topic. I was hoping to be treated like an injured puppy for just a little sympathy from random hot girls, instead of the level III sex-offender looks I've been getting. I think it's cuz of the homeless look. Time to shave and get out the pumice stone. I agree w/the spandex. I only pull 'em out for euro type events such as ski racing and sport routes circa 1985. Guys should have to wear a sign on their back when riding their bikes saying, "Do not look, I am a Man". I hate those fucking dudes! Wear a pair of blue jeans and t-shirt like a god fearing american!

Maybe it's cuz in the last year: I got a hummer from a giant marmot (nice ass, eh ladies?) I have two disgusting broken feet I am totally broke I was announced as "dead" on several television stations I approached over 56 alpine climbs instead of going to my girlfriends family functions I have made over 500 posts on this stupid website One of my best friends is Necronomicon Polish Bob is my massage therapist I have a photo on this website of me licking a cut that went down to the bone I had a photo on this website of me decked out in spandex in a x/c ski race The list of strikes is long indeed.

It ain't love i was hoping fer.

All I kept hearing was how much sympathy I'd get from 'da ladies. I ain't got shit. Some theories: 1.I frighten small children 2.Aggro wheelchair drivin' 3.Aggro crutchin' 4.Aggro gimpin' 5.Women want to be taken care of, not the reverse 6.I look like a homeless bum 7.I look like a vetran 8.I'm expecting it, therefor I ain't getting it. 9.I leave the ladies speachless with desire Seriously, not one attractive female has stopped and done the whole puppy dog thing. No hot college girls, no drunk hippy chick, and certainly no MILFS. This blows. I'm getting a puppy. ps. the same complaint goes for being a climber. "oh your a climber, you must get all the ladies." PPS. what do you call a climber w/no girlfriend. A: homeless

I got titanium scews in my foot too! I asked if the were the russian screws w/the red cap, but the doc didn't know what I was talking about, the gumby.

I got the bends once when we tested our new gammov bag at the american alpine inst. We had it totally inflated w/me inside and someone ripped open the zipper letting over 15,000" worth of elevation gain in (according to my watch). I was send home w/no L&I form that day. hehe!

I love liars, but hate myself Actually, I lied. I hate em and love myself. But I hate myself for being a liar and being hated by thelawgoddess. Actually I love being hated by the lawgoddess. I lied. I hate you all. But then again, I'm a liar...

what happened to all the the pics before y'all change the website last?

guide's wall is pretty rad. Irene's arete, open book are other good ones not mentioned. everything else mentioned is good. lot's o' walkin.

Nice one Matt! I got you confused w/the "other" Matt Anderson of Big 4 fame. All the droppin shit and getting lost sounds like him. I wouldn't put up w/someone else being a climber and sharing my name. You guys should fight! Besides that, I'm jealous. Sounds like a good climb! Gear suggestions?

No work and no play can make michael layton a very dull boy

Like your girlfriend. Gimme a PM if ya wanna hang out in Chi-town.

Jordop seems to be into choss these days!

Sure looks differnt from when my friends and I did i a way back

No, I cleaned em w/ a funkness device. Yanked right out. Pins still for sale, make me an offer.

What did you eat for dinner that night?

I keep hearin' 'bout the cathedral, grimface, castle, etc. Good place to go when it's rainin' here? Weather better than WA pass generally?

I'm in B'ham until Monday night. I'd quite like to go drinkin' at Casa tonight if anyone is reading this. I'll be back on the 26th. I walked 6 miles today (very very slowly) on the N.Lake Whatom trail. Old man training! I might drop a line now and then, but I'm going to Chicago to rest and get away from climbing and spraying for a spell. Look out when I get back. I don't plan on resting till I'm through w/the cascades. As for pain meds... I haven't had a pain pill in weeks ('cept for Ibu to keep down the swelling). My pain meds come fermented in a pint glass.

Yup! Got my pins pulled (5) yesterday. No novicane or nothin'! Yikes!!! Now I can "walk". 2-3 weeks till climbin!

5 titanium pins for sale, assorted sizes, like new. U-sanitize. Free shipping. Email for offer.

You can have my old one Trask. The rest o' y'all. No, your gay.