tvashtarkatena

"Skookum tillicum, skookum tumtum" - Translation: Carry an MLU, WhiteBoy. Conservation of energy: In a bounded packet of air, as the kinetic energy increases (with wind velocity) the pressure energy decreases accordingly. Conservation of Mass: Wind velocity increases when a packet of air has to take a longer route in the same time period to clear an aerodynamic obstruction, such as Rainier, relative to other packets of air in the same stream that can continue to travel in a straight line. Lower pressure air has less capacity to carry water vapor, so the rest precipitates out as water droplets (cloud) for those packets that much take the long way around. Once a given air packet has completed its trip over the obstruction and rejoined its straight line compatriots, wind velocity (and kinetic energy) drops back down, pressure energy increases, water vapor carrying capacity increases, and water droplets (cloud) evaporate back into water vapor. Or sometimes it's just a UFO hovering over the Mountain.

Here's what adventure racers use: For dry conditions: Chamois Butter or other similar body lube, available at cycling or running stores. For conditions that may be wetter: Hydropel (available at same kinds of outlets. You might see what ARGEAR.com. After you have chafed: Neosporin. Keep these handy (on your waist belt, etc.) You'll need to reapply them periodically. For multiday trips, handywiping your stanky areas, or simply rinsing them with water to remove the salts and bacteria, is critical. Don't use vaseline. It's a petroleum product that rapes some people with a chainsaw, particularly after really long distances. No one in the adventure racing world uses this crap anymore, but if it's all you have, you can employ it for shorter distances. Even chapstick or sunblock works in a pinch...but not very well. Stop wearing underwear, if you haven't already. If you must wear an undergarment, use a tight fitting, smooth lycra like shorts with minimal seams. And don't listen to the 'you're just not hard enough' crowd. EVERYONE chafes eventually. The top adventure racers in the world lube up more than a bevvy of L.A. dental hygienists before a video shoot. I would also recommend electrolyte pills, such as E-Caps (available at the above outlets) for longer trips. These contain all the salts the human body needs, balanced for our pH. In the heat, 1 or 2 per hour will keep you going forever. It's surprising how few climbers have discovered them.

I'm agettin' high, 'cuz Armageddon's nigh

I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more.

PEOPLE! Here you are talking about being impaired, or enhanced, or paired up with a monkey, or something. Don't you realize that THE EYES OF THE NATION ARE ONCE AGAIN UPON US?!

When it screams "JESUS CHRIST!", you know you've been through your most difficult moments.

It's hopeless. Walk up to any woman and tell her "I want to poke your bush, baby" and see how fast she makes you look like a tool.

"no becuase it stupid and everyone knows it but the libby's are so blinded by there hate they can't even see rational." What do you think, Oly?

Can't pinch it off!.....

Shit! Here it comes!....

Aaarrrrgghhhh....weakening..........

Must...not...post...

You are so wide open right now, but I just can't bring myself to post it.

It would be so strange to live in a first world country.

from the Director's Cut.

Jesus, man, do we think alike sometimes. I was going to suggest the very same technology, and I happen to know someone who has one. Papa's got a brand new smokeless bag, you might say.

So do we launch a scientific test? Maybe we could do a reaction test. We belay someone drunk or stoned and see how long it takes them to hit the ground. The we check for damage. Seriously, you can do a test by having someone belay and stop the same fall. Then you check how far your leader dropped to measure the reaction time (in feet of rope). The THC can be stadardized by using the same weed and administering the same dose maybe in a vaporizer to manage the dose somewhat consistently. Such a test would require an enormous amount of repetition to ensure repeatability of results. In other words, Papa's gonna hafta get a bran' new bag.

Has Rummy shot someone in the face, too?

My opinion, which of course is synonymous with absolute fact, is that pot can enhance slow, deliberate performance (such sending a route), but also impair rapid reaction time (responding to a rockfall). The latter is required much less often, but the consequences of screwing up in such an instance can be significant.

A little happy cabbage keeps scurvy of the attitude at bay.

Solve it the Alaskan way. Take a moose's hind quarters over to Micahmcuire, present it to him, and say "I'm either going to beat you senseless with this or BBQ it for you. Which is it going to be?"

I don't climb stoned, but I do occasionally rub a datura poultice all over my groin prior to sending a route. Discuss...

Hey, here's some trivia we all can't use: How do you control a full grown kangaroo? (this is true, actually). You grab them by the end of their tail. They can't turn around to kick you into next week; their spinal column is too stiff. It also can't take any torsion, so when you want them to turn right, you gently twist the tail clockwise, etc... You heard it here first.

"No, no. No eating Mr. Bigglesworth."

Hate what you own, then own your hate. That's copywrite protected, BTW.