tvashtarkatena

I use one or two x one liter Talking Rain bottles cinched to the front of my pack straps at chest level using bicycle toe clip straps on all trips except technical rock climbs. It's a good way to distribute the weight, they don't get in the way of anything or bounce, and they're always readily accessible. Best of all worlds.

Trip: FA: Tvashtarivan, the Inbred Giant's Nose - Date: 6/17/2007 Trip Report: After a satisfying day of cragging around Peek-a-Boo tower, Ivan and I decided to do a little exploring for FA possibilities. What we discovered astounded us. Less than an hour from the car, this virgin wall appeared before us. It resembled a retarded giant, glowering down, daring us to climb up the middle of his forehead. Once at the base, mythical creatures emitting tiny sounds like deflating party balloons tried to block our progress, but we soldiered on. Well equipped for unconsentual penetration, they threatened us with communicable skin conditions, but our ascent continued. We were two, alone against the untouched monolith towering above us. Magic was afoot. The Goddess was alive. Inconveniently, a tree sprouted from my crotch. Between our shaking legs only a tiny, helmeted partner against the void of outer space. We climbed so fiercely that many of our cams became irretrievably lodged. Soon, we were hammering home our last remaining rusty bongs and pitons. Even the previous night’s ill advised chili dinner could not spoil my unbridled joy in being the first mortals to levitate upward through such a effervescent sea of chickenhawks. My partner, too, overcame repeated gassy, oily discharge to finally summit. At last, we had scaled what will undoubtedly become a four star classic, which we dubbed “Tvashtarivan; the Inbred Giant’s Nose Route”. It is our gift to all of you. Gear Notes: Gear to 4", pitons, bongs, fixed cams, you name it. Approach Notes: 1 hour from the car!

Anyone know specific road/trail conditions to get into the Cathedral Fork (just NW of Cathedral Peak) from the Canadian side?

Waiter, I'll have what he's smoking.

Hey, Reverend: the church is down the street.

Screw intellect! We're talking about the Old Peculiar, or however you spell it! If you want intellect, go to a MENSA meeting!

Don't try to understand it just jerk yer joint and send it soon I'll have FUs far and wide

gwoovy

I'm looking for the digital topo of the Canadian side of the Pasayten River, just East of Manning Park. I'm looking to go into the Pasayten from the north. Thanks in advance.

The Old Peculiar In Ballard. Be there or...er, don't be there. I have spoken.

Sorry, but weather and time prevented us from doing Peek a boo tower that day, so we were not able to retrieve your cam.

I can make it. Wherez this place?

It's a good thing they caught her breast cancer in time.

As fuel supplies become scarcer and diet drug use more widespread, gassy oily discharge may become an energy source.

I'm a big fan of trikes because the rear baskets are big enough to carry all my cats.

I can't believe people still talk like this. The American Cancer Society estimates that 178,480 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed in 2007. Invasive is the bad kind--the kind that very often requires surgery and reconstruction. That is a lot of women walking around with the boobs people are so quick to assume are there for ego only. Very often, those boobs are there b/c in our breast obsessed society, being suddenly flat-chested is just one too many things to stress about after fighting for your life. So ease the fuck up. The Helen Reddy of CC raises her voice for oppressed boob jobs everywhere....

So, what's with all the Botox? Is there a lot of forehead cancer going around too?

There are certain parts of the day I no longer have any memory of.

Everything is a valid concern when you're paranoid.

Listened to Ivan sing every stanza of "Dust in the Wind" while waiting for the Mounties to finish playing with their cordelets.

That's the first thing I'd do if I was choosing a place to raise kids...right after checking to see that there wasn't a homeless shelter within a ten mile radius.

Speaking of taco trucks...La Carreta: the taco BUS, in Shoreline (Aurora and one sixty something. Sopapillas, baby (or menudo, if you're into that kind of thing). Get on the bus.

What a bunch of surrender monkeys.

The only thing that would be more depressive than living in Bellevue would be to not make enough coin to live in Bellevue with all the bling.

No finer nor more accurate description of the Bellevue's cultural mindset has ever been written. I worked in downtown Bellevue for a time. Despite the East Side's diligent efforts to transform the planetary surface into fractal landscape of intermittable traffic lights, econobox houses cowering behind their feaux Versaille entryways, cul de sac neighborhoods engineered to mimick the look and feel of a safe, warm, and comfortable lower colon, and TGI Fridays, I found pockets of resistant ethnicity that were quite refreshing. Downtown B-vue posts a fine Jewish deli, great Mexican joint, and a Turkish shoe repair shop, to name a few. Although Bellevue may be the blondest city in America, there are little brown people going about their everyday lives tucked in between the Bed, Bath, and Beyonds. Bellevue also boasts some of the nicest breasts to be found anywhere outside of Hollywood. I'm not sure who the distributor is, but there are a whole lot of 55 year olds running around (OK, driving around) with the perkiest racks you've ever seen. I can remember standing in the lobby of the Bellevue Club listening to two middle aged women talk about the price of their breasts. This kind of openness just doesn't seem to happen in Seattle. Bellevue is not a great place to become involved in a motor vehicle accident however; an unfortunately likely occurance as a high percentage of vehicles there are driven by women who can't see far enough over their new breasts to successfully pilot their battlestars through 19 lanes of traffic.