Dechristo

No, they weren't Vagina Slims.

Dat hip phat cat's gotta goattee!

OMG, is that the Dalai Lama? THE NODDER LAMA?

i see. so firefighters have identified facial hair as a safety concern. Naaaahhh, doesn't have to do with safety at all... ...they're all just clones of Mack Sennet's Keystone Cops trained to carry water pails.

Reminds me of the time I was sittin' next to two hookers on a bench at a bus stop; they were both puffin' tough on Virginia Slims. While waiting for the bus, I overheard some of their conversation: The one asked the other,"Do you smoke after layin' a John?" The other paused, looked at her lap, then replied,"I don't know, I never looked."

There are usually departmental prohibitions against any facial hair that interferes with establishing/maintaining an SCBA face mask seal; hence, a mustache is the only facial hair permitted.

I see you speak my language. Yes, but take the worm out of your mouth, your enunciation is garbled.

It's so windy in Wyoming because Nebraska Sucks and Utah blows.

The rooster = half a dog

You think she had augmentation by this procedure?

Quite an overhang to climb there.

Yeah, I heard they grow melons in Florida.

The rooster is a cock.

Like the rescues they charge you for? They don't have the same concept of a park, hence they don't have the same management infrastructure. Good to have the inbred =from philomath chiming in, always good to see why Oregon really is a 2nd class state. If it weren't fer tem durn envirumentalists the timber mill'd still be around? The imperial "your" in my statement referred to europee-ons in an explanation for their lack of user fees; please forgive the lack of clarity.

SUCKS KNAPWEED!

Start a poll with this photo. Ask the polled which of the two mammals their libido prefers. Subsequent intracranial conversation: It's an old joke, but it just might work.

The Barefoot Rule Since you must be outside to call Shotgun, some people will just grab their shoes, jump outside, and call Shotgun before putting their shoes on. This has been deemed "gaping", and is not a legal procedure. You must have your shoes on, if you choose to wear any, before you may call Shotgun. The Shotgun Gaper Gapers (gay-pers) are people who prioritize Shotgun much more than a normal human being. These people will alter their usual behavior and even undermine their own ethics in order to gain the rights to Shotgun. They do this through legal means such as sprinting for an exit, and therefore they cannot be voided. The term gaper was originally given to Will Henderson who once rode Shotgun for 2 months straight. The advantage to being a Shotgun Gaper, of course, is you always get Shotgun. Being a Shotgun Gaper, however, is frowned upon. If you know any Gapers and disapprove of their gaping ways, visit our Gaper page. There you will find tips and tactics to help you beat the Gaper at their own game.

One of the answers to the universal question,"why can't we all just get along"? With the plethora of disparate judgments of "right and wrong", how will disagreement cease? Your ego is your construct of personal identity. Will climbers suddenly lay down their arms of judgment to take up arms that embrace all notions of appropriate ethics? This, considering the spirit of independence endemic and embodied in climbers, would require fundamental changes in personal modes of operation so basic as to make the changed nearly unrecognizable to friends and family. This may be a "big issue" in the function/dysfunction of humanity globally, but it is not specific to climbing. Still, I agree, disagreement should be set aside long enough to recognize salient agreement among all on issues that affect all; hence, The Access Fund and the like.

I don't know about anybody else, but... Somebody needs to warn Chaps. He has no idea of the terrors that await him now that he is in the clutches of The Dark Side! It's best he's told, the poor thing. OK, I'll start: Chaps, you know that wierd great-aunt of yours that has always dressed, acted, and smelled peculiar? You can expect her to corner you and slip you the tongue at the next family gathering. You think that's bad? Wait 'till others here tell you of the heinousness that is coming your way.

The eevile Dr. Smith will find it. Though, he was a tea-baggin' canuck from Toronto.

MIT engineers grow the shit, Hahvahd Business School deals it.

You don't have a scope on your chainsaw?

You must come to accept bushwhacking. And you may find yourself whipped by the route you've chosen.

Wouldn't the use of a chainsaw be more relevant?