foraker

get a waring. two speeds. built like a tank. those multispeed things are useless.

how about: everyone else but you can set/change your avatar?

this about sums it up: May The Force Please Go Away 13 reasons to be hugely grateful that "Star Wars," the king of adolescent space epics, is finally over - By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist Wednesday, May 25, 2005 Can we just say it? Can we admit it now? Is it finally time? Here goes: Thank the great Sith Lord above that the massive computer-driven marketing hellbeast that is the overblown "Star Wars" epic is finally over. There I said it. Can we agree? Because the truth is, this most bloated of megamovie franchises hasn't been a certifiable cultural phenom, something to get truly excited about, for over 25 years. Admit it now, get it over with, move on to pretty happy things like puppies and porn and sunshine. Look, I'm sorry, but I don't care how many gazillions the last three flicks have made at the box office from ubergeeks too old to get "Harry Potter" and too emotionally immature to graduate to real movies. Episodes I-III are mostly one thing and one thing only: huge exercises in CGI acrobatics, manic video games writ large, numbly awful movies full of fine actors reduced to stiff mannequins in bad monk robes and uncomfortable headpieces delivering stone-cold line readings seemingly written by that slightly twitchy tin-eared dweeb who sat next you in fifth-grade algebra, sweatingly. It's all just a little -- how to put this carefully -- it's all just a little embarrassing. Here, then, are 13 reasons to celebrate the end of the cute, overblown SW monster. Reasons for normal people to get back to caring about decent movies with subtle dialogue and true character development and nuanced plot lines not revolving around a monochromatic good/evil dialectic executed by barely emotive cartoon characters who have somehow been brainwashed into thinking they're making art. Admit these now, get it over with, move on to happy things like wine and sex and pleasures that have absolutely zero to do with whooshing lightsabers. OK? 1) Begone, Star Wars ubergeeks. Begone, terrifically strange and tragically lonely fan boys who camp out, weeks and months in advance, for SW tickets, even at the wrong theater. Drink the Kool-Aid if you must, boys. Your 15 minutes are way, way up. Never has a culture wished so deeply for a group of people to get deep into online porn and pop more Ritalin and stay the hell home. 2) Unfortunately, now the media coverage of such geeks will simply switch over to sad psychochristian fanatics who are already lining up for Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ" sequel, "Dead Things I Pulverize with a Cuisinart and Then Smear All Over My Hairy Catholic Chest." 3) Poor Ewan McGregor. Poor Natalie Portman. Poor Liam Neeson. Fabulous actors so completely drained of nuance and character you are left wishing Obi Wan would shoot heroin and dive into a toilet and have a deformed religious experience, and that Neeson might veer off and start asking Princess Amidala what her favorite sexual position is and how many orgasms she has in a month and what she really thinks about when she sees Vader's throbbing red lightsaber. 4) Farewell, the odd and recurring hype that claims, every few years, that George Lucas might, in fact, be one of the truly great, visionary directors of all time. He isn't. Not by a long shot. 5) Darth Vader choking a giant red M&M candy. Darth Vader staring down that creepy Burger King mascot thing. Darth Vader hawking cell phones and Energizer batteries and floor cleaner and breakfast cereal and who the hell knows what else. Good riddance, odious sea of SW product tie-ins. Like the goddamn franchise needs more cash? Like seeing Darth Vader hawking tampons and aspirin and Darth Vader-branded bunion pads is in any way necessary? Please. 6) Let's just say it outright: Harrison Ford carried the first three movies, period. Carrie Fisher was amusing enough, the droids were cute and infinitely annoying, James Earl Jones' Vader voice work was nearly a character unto itself. But no one topped Ford at delivering a cynical line or expressing incredulity or offering up that famous "Who, me?" look that would later come to such wondrous fruition with Indiana Jones. "Star Wars" without Ford's dry humor and bewildered mug is like a cheesy pinball machine without the ball: all bells and whistles, few genuine pleasures. 7) Two words: Jim Henson. Next to Ford, Henson's astonishing Creature Shop gave the first movies brilliantly wacky life, silly and tangible and honest. The last three flicks are just painful reminders of how much he, and his entire Muppet universe, are missed in this world, and how much computers have drained many movies of their soul. 8) Did I mention Chewbacca? Did I mention that maddening commercial where Chewbacca is in the booth recording sounds for the new series of "Star Wars" cell phone ring tones and oh my freaking God let's just imagine that for a moment, the pale little sexually denuded dude sitting next to you in the café who gets a call on his Nokia and when it rings it sounds like that weird famous Chewbacca howl, and you turn and look at him and wonder what he might look like if he exploded into a million bloody little geek-boy pieces like, right now. 9) Enough with the dissecting of SW plot lines. Enough with the seeking of deep mythological parallels. Despite all those blogs and articles insisting SW is some sort of modern iteration of "Crime and Punishment" crossed with "Dr. Spock's Guide to Parenting," there is little of true intellectual substance to speak of in any of the SW flicks, and say what you will about old-time '60s radical Lucas' commendable desire to criticize current rabid right-wing ideology via his simple good/evil allegories, the overarching plot of SW is so basic and the execution so orthodox, you might as well be watching "The Bad News Bears," stoned. It's true. 10) The late, great master of myth Joseph Campbell loved the first three "Star Wars" movies. He saw in them a wonderful modern-day example of his favorite allegory and recurring cultural theme, the hero's journey. Joseph Campbell is dead now. Even he was ready to move the hell on. 11) This is from the recent Rolling Stone interview with Lucas, with Lucas examining a plot thread: "Is Anakin a product of a super-Sith who influenced the midichlorians to create him, or is he simply created by the midichlorians to bring forth prophecy, or was he created by the Force through the midichlorians? It's left up to the audience to decide." Note to George: You are 61 years old. Stop speaking like this before you hemorrhage something. And see item No. 10, above. 12) Raise your hand if you love the concept of prequels. Ten years of crappy CGI and 10 years of lumpy stiff acting and 28 years of waiting and you watch "Sith" where only the last 30 minutes really finds any sort of cinematic footing, and after all that screaming and all the cheeseball animation and all the slaughtered Jedis and the stilted, lifeless dialogue and heavy Vader wheezing and Yoda's irritating speech impediment, where do we finally end up at the end of Episode III? That's right: 1977. And who the hell wants to be back there? 13) I'll happily admit that the first three films were breathtakingly rich allegories for their time, landmark filmmaking, funny and quirky and cutting edge and cute fun for the kids, full of wry characters and state-of-the-art special effects saddled to a rather generic, by-the-numbers hero's journey sprinkled with the occasional subreference to Buddhism or the fine art of egolessness. But. But it must be stated and cannot be repeated enough and we have to admit it once and for all: The "Star Wars" films, each and every one of them and it feels like there are about 127 of them now, they remain, always and forever, movies for anxious, easily stupefied 10-ear-old boys. There I said it. Can we all just go outside now?

i didn't think it was all that good. better than episodes 1 and 2 but still chock full of bad acting, at times horrid dialogue, etc. everything seems to be filler for light sabre battles.

On the few times I've been on a route and someone was obviously moving quite quickly and caught up with me, I've gladly let them pass. No drama. THe only time I have been bothered by slow climbers is when doing a popular route like Nutcracker in Yosemite. It's not the slow climbers that are the problem, it's the f-wit who brings two or three of his non-climber friends with him on one of the more popular routes and has to do all the leading (including having to keep his friends from freaking out because they've never really climbed before). Then there's the ones that ask if they can pass and then end up not being any faster than you....

more like, out of one guano-filled cave of his own making and into another....

Meanwhile, our friends the Saudis have been busy....

oh, that's just sick and wrong...... apparently they aren't giving out enough challenging homework lately...

not looking for anything hardman. just don't want to lose momentum.

Sorry, I can't step up and say I voted for someone, wholeheartedly, if, upon consideration, I dislike 75% of one guy's policies but only %60 of the other guys. However, not voting is just stupid. If you want the radical fringes of the political parties in this country to dominate the agenda, sure, go right ahead, don't vote.

I don't know if you can all those people voted *for* Bush. In my years as being a voter, I don't think I've voted for any of the bottom feeders that got nominated. Rather, I was voting against more creepy bottom feeder. I'm willing to bet a fair number of Bush voters were simply voting against Kerry and not necessarily *for* Bush and all his policies.

with a climbing problem also has a web cast radio! Now that just gives me a big warm fuzzy. I remember meeting Don Sheldon there, back in the day.

i think Ed needs to elaborate on what he means by 'smaller and easier'....

Kinky shopper KOed by vibrating knickers By Lester Haines Published Wednesday 18th May 2005 12:04 GMT The following cautionary tale must surely rate in the top five of "most embarrassing things that can happen to you in public - ever". According to UK tabloid the Sun, a 33-year-old Welsh housewife ended up in hospital after wearing Ann Summers vibrating Passion Pants to her local Asda supermarket in Swansea. Unfortunately, she became "so aroused by the 2½-inch vibrating bullet inside that she fainted" then "fell against shelves and banged her head". This prompted the attendance of the paramedics who "found the black leatherette panties still buzzing". Having disabled the orgasmatronic underwear, they then whisked the senseless shopper to hospital where she made a complete recovery. Staff handed her back the Passion Pants upon discharge, discreetly concealed in a plastic bag. To its credit, the Sun does not name the woman. We assume, however, that she will be shopping at her local Tesco for the next ten years or so, or until everyone in the Asda who witnessed her ordeal is dead or has succumbed to total amnesia - whichever comes soonest. For the record, Ann Summers notes that Passion Pants are "Not for internal use". Now we know why. ® Bootnote Thanks to all those members of the neoLuddite Resistance Army who have written in to suggest that this is in fact another manifestation of the Rise of the Machines™. The elimination of the female of the species through vibrating panties? It's a chilling thought, but what a way to go... Link to article

The status quo had a non-zero cost - enforcing no-fly zones, stationing troops, playing cat and mouse games with Hussein as he repeatedly moved troops towards Kuwait, then withdrew. And lest we forget, the reason OBL turned Al Qaeda's collective sights on the US was the "disgrace" of having infidels stationed on the hallowed soil of Mohammed's home land. so, what you're saying is: despite trying to hang it all on Clinton, the real culprit for OBL's hatred of America is GWB's father, King George I. Gee, there's a surprise......

you have nothing to worry about, right? Nah, we aren't becoming a police state. Go about your business

you know you're in trouble when they start the diversionary witch hunts. guess they don't want people asking why US oil companies were doing exactly the same thing they accuse the euros of doing.

i thought i was going to get to shoot *at* him

Be careful, Squid. That thing looks like a combination bong and penis pump. You don't know where that thing has been.

let us know how the whole virgin thing works out...

Think post-glacial rebound

you have to love that logic

I guess it just depends on what your definition of 'lie to the American people' is......

one problem with profiling is that it dangerously focuses your attention. given a rule, many people will blindly apply it thus opening the opportunity for one clean-cut looking white boy or demure looking asian woman to sail right on through. until they install those cool scanners (fat chance) that look through all your clothes using acoustic waves, we all get the pat down. that said, intelligent profiling can be done that captures most of the usual suspects.