Drill Instructor: How tall are you private?
Cowboy: Sir! Five foot nine, sir!
Drill Instructor: Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit
that high! You tryin' to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?
Cowboy: Sir! No Sir!
Drill Instructor: Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of
you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown
stain on the mattress! I think you been cheated! Where in the hell
are you from anyway, private?
Cowboy: Sir! Texas, Sir!
Drill Instructor: Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come
from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to
me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?
Cowboy: Sir! No Sir!
Drill Instructor: Are you a peter puffer?
Cowboy: Sir! No Sir!
Drill Instructor: I'll bet you're the kinda guy that would fuck a
person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to
give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.
The full version is for Tex...