Dr_Flash_Amazing

Muffy, just think of the worst thing you have ever witnessed, then make it ten times more repellent, disgusting, and twisted, and you'll have something that's about a tenth as disgusting as what's behind the link. You'll seriously regret clicking on it. If it makes it any easier, DFA still hasn't clicked on the original link in this thread. See? It's not that difficult. Your life will be no better for having viewed something appalling, and no worse for not having done so. Go make a cup of coffee and peruse some TRs or something.

You'll be sorry ...

You were thoroughly warned, and it was a serious warning. For anyone else, let this be a lesson to you: DON'T CLICK ON THAT LINK!

Whatever it was, it couldn't possibly be sicker than THIS. Be warned that the preceding link is by far the most hideously revolting thing DFA has ever witnessed, and while the Doctor didn't click on the above link, he'll bet this one is worse. So, uh, don't click the link unless you're Greg or Trask, who will get the most bang-for-the-disgust-buck out of it. Otherwise, just go on with your lives and ignore it. Seriously.

Having gone from a Ford Ranger to a Subaru Legacy wagon, so far the Sub is better. Granted, DFA doesn't go for them alpine river crossing approaches, but the thing seems to romp. People seem to always forget the regular Legacy L when talking Subarus and only think of the Outback, but keep in mind that the only functional difference between the two is an inch of extra clearance and "offroad" suspension (for tackling those vicious speed-bumps at the mall ). The rest is faux-woodgrain paneling inside, an electric driver's seat, some plastic body panels, lighted vanity mirrors, and an "Outback" logo on the back. Is it worth another $4-5,000? Either way, the Sub gets 5-10 mpg better than the truck for starters. It also drives way smoother and handles WAY better 'cause of the Boxer engine and AWD -- you definitely feel safe from an evasive driving standpoint. Fold down the rear seat back and take out the seat part and you can sleep two in it. The Amazing family Subaru has also been referred to as "the truck," as it has hauled a fairly healthy load of lumber home from Home Depot (making full use of the roof rack and some straps to hold the hatch back shut) with no appreciable lack of oomph on the road. And of course the legendary Subaru reliability (yep, still running strong after, uh, 5,000 miles! ). Whatever you buy, now's a hell of a good time to do it, since everyone seems to be offering 0% financing for 60 months and the dealers are desparate to get rid of cars.

DFA was looking for a picture of Stallone using the bolt-gun from Cliffhanger to go along with this thread, but a google images search turned up nothing but Cliffhanger movie posters, random climbing pictures, and this Christmas Mouse, who at least looks like he's about to dish out a beat-down: Close enough. [ 11-12-2002, 12:55 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

quote: Originally posted by iain: dog better be mellow as kenny g. That's fuckin' hilarious! Lambone, There really is a lot to be said for the good owner, too. So many dog-at-crag issues could be alleviated if people with problem dogs accepted that their dogs are causing problems, rather than acting like it's no big deal. It's not so much a problem that dogs start acting like dogs every once in a while, it's just that when people let common sense go out the window when it comes to their dogs. Most people would never run around the crag, jumping on belayers, stepping on ropes, and snuffling for sandwiches in other people's packs, but too often dog owners will ignore the same behavior from their pooch. Anyway, thanks in advance for wanting to be considerate with your dog.

Dr. Flash Amazing's insightful musings, incisive rants, and stirring manifestos are available for syndication, if you're interested. E-mail for a rate schedule and a special offer on DFA's brilliant and exciting clip-up trip reports, photos of the approach to Smith, and handy advice on how to tick key holds, scrub chalk, and use rope tension to your advantage when no one's looking!

Thanks much, Courtenay! Outside also concluded by pretty much saying that it was best for a plateau-breaker and best if incorporated into periodized training. Just have to get motivated enough to do the periodization thing ...

In DFA's experience, good crag dogs pretty much sit still and don't bark every time something moves. They don't jump on people, try to eat your food, or step on ropes. The whole "sit still and be quiet" thing is pretty much the key element, though. Some meathead at Smith a while back had a couple of mutts with him over at Rope de Dope, and he was just letting them go apeshit; they were barking for several minutes straight, which was fully audible on the other side of the river. Someone finally came over from Morning Glory to see whose dogs they were and if maybe they could be quieted, and the dog owner basically told the guy to get fucked, and pretty soon threats of an asskicking were being swapped. So, maybe being a considerate dog-owner is part of the equation, too. It's awesome when dog owners take responsibility for their animals, and deal with them (i.e. get them to stop being obnox. or remove them from the area for a while until they chill) when they're being obnoxious. That's the Doctor's dos pesos.

Dr. Flash Amazing was reading the latest issue of Outside Magazine, wherein there is an article about "Super Slow" training. The general idea was doing very few reps over a couple of minutes, constantly keeping your muscles under load ("time under load" being a key thing one would keep track of with this program), using about 10 seconds for the lifting and 5 seconds for the lowering. Apparently one can get some good benefits from a very short workout, and only a couple of times a week. Does anyone have any experience and/or insight on this method of training? Outside Mag. cited a few reports and training centers that use this method, and apparently it's a very efficient way to get strong and ditch fat, provided one has the patience. Is this something that would only work with weights, or could it be applied to pushups, pullups, or situps/crunches as well?

Greg W (the great straight warrior) is gonna take it in the butt, and like it!

Anagrams of "eight equals d": heat squid gel dig the squeal hide squat gel Hmmm ... it must mean something ...

quote: Originally posted by scot'teryx: He has this problem with other dogs, and will try and take them down at all costs. He has never had a problem with people, but has serious separation anxiety, but he was from the shelter so we have no idea what type of environment he came from. That being said, he stays in the garage when we go climbing or hiking. ... hence this photo of the pooch out on the trail.

quote: Originally posted by snoboy: Does the access to the gorge at Smith count? Hell yeah! That probably qualifies as the world's shortest via ferrata!

quote: Originally posted by Chepe: just take a hit of acid and drytool Godzilla at Index free solo, you'll learn fast or splatter! HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!! The Doctor read some article in one of the climbing mags years ago about some dudes who would drop acid and solo routes in the Black Canyon, and they had t-shirts that read "Blotter is My Spotter." [ 11-12-2002, 03:58 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

quote: Originally posted by rbw1966: quote:Originally posted by Greg W:

Y'all ain't got nothin' on the Christmas Mouse.

Ahhh, yes! That's right, being outdoors. Thank you, wise Canada-man.

Being outdoors ..?

Is the "belay knife" so you can cut the rope and walk away if the climber you're belaying starts acting gay?

quote: Originally posted by rbw1966:

Nonsense! A dog needn't have opposable thumbs to climb! Just needs the, ah, balls to do it!

That's probably why the Mouse is making with the fists like as if to pop somebody one. Sharing a dressing room with a randy Santa is bound to piss anybody off!

You've got a point there about 11+ slabs. Krikey!