Dr_Flash_Amazing

Johnny D., your dachsundine nipping at Dr. Flash Amazing's ankles falls just short of "sadly amusing," landing you squarely in "pathetic" territory. Please report to Trask for a spanking and stern, motherly reprimand.

... boring as fuck. What is up today, people? Gaaahhhhh ...

Greg, one more thing DFA thought of, since you mention never having used Seam Grip: don't glom the shit on too thick, or you'll wind up with a rather awkward lump of rubbery stuff where the hole is. Whichever method you use, moderation is key. Go with a super-thin coat to start with, and if it's not enough, you can always add another layer, but you'll never get the shit off if you apply too much the first time.

What are you, on the crack? Seam Grip will fix anyfuckingthing you put it on. Bomber with a capital B. Anyway, you'd never get as good a result trying to weave your own fabric outta thread.

Greg, no problem, glad to help out a friendly gent such as yourself. And if the iron gives you any shit, shoot the fuckin' thing and ask questions after.

Depends on the patch, prob'ly, although DFA would guess that most outdoor gear patches would have a pretty low-temperature glue on them. The Doctor had some waterproof/breathable iron-on patch material a while back that he used on a couple different garments, and it worked fine (nice and flexible, too). The key is to just be paranoid-careful with the iron, and just use the very edge at the pointy end so you're mainly just ironing the patch and not the Schoeller. You can also lay down a t-shirt next to the patch to sort of mask the rest of the Schoeller garment so as to minimize the chance of the iron frying the adjacent fabric.

How big's the hole? If it's not too big you could just fix it with Seam Grip. Otherwise, either your iron-on patch with SG reinforcement idea would be good. Or you could just use some scrap nylon (presuming you have such at your disposal) and use SG as glue, and make your own patch that way. You could also send them to DFA, and he will repair them for a nominal fee (beer money would suffice). Just wash that stank out of them before you send them.

Ever the charmer, eh?

Damn, you're cranky today. 'samatter, you get blue balls from a week of not leg-humping the Doctor on this here website? Poor fella ...

Gee, Greg, it was pretty good! How was your holiday?

From the significant other's folks, a DVD player (finally, into the 21st century!), Less Than Jake's remixed & remastered 10th anniversary 'Pezcore' CD, and a bottle of Taylor Fladgate 10 Year Tawny Port. Hell yeah! Mom & stepdad hooked the Doctor up with a Makita jigsaw and an angle grinder (may need to trade the latter in for a sander -- unless anyone can think of many practical uses for the angle grinder?), a subscrip. to Stereophile magazine, and assorted knick-knacks. Little sister got DFA some stickers for the Subaru, and Hot Water Music's new album 'Caution' on vinyl (damn, that shit sounds good!). Dad & stepmom graced DFA's home with a set of Surefoot Conepoints and a set of Heavyhat Weights from Mapleshade Records for souping up the hi-fi. CD player sounds like it cost another 300 bucks now. Hell yeah, let's hear it for brass! And some Coltrane ('Giant Steps') and Miles Davis ('Kind of Blue') to spin on the CD player. Hell yeah, let's hear it for jazz! And then a subscrip to R&I to top it all off. The Mrs. and DFA are waiting til we have money so we can get a digital camera for Christmas. Maybe in March ...

Ha ha haaa! Mr. Off White, you beat the Doctor to it! Nice one.

Oh, the travails of the historically oppressed and marginalized white male. The hallowed halls of history are piled high with innumerable examples of the seemingly neverending oppression of this unfortunate creature. Word on the street is that some white males are even out of work these days! Can you imagine? Listen! Does anyone else hear violins? And ... is that sobbing?

Depends on what kind of 5.12 sport routes you're climbing in your Aces. Sure, you can climb routes like Dreamin', Heinous, Latin Lover, or Take a Powder in your Aces. And you could probably paddle your way up something like Crack Babies or Torrid Zone in them, but why make it difficult on yourself? Aces are F-L-A-T flat, and stiff as boards, for standing on micronothings, which they're presumably great for. But for steep routes where you're doing more pulling with your toes to keep your feet on the rock, or stabbing those ever-so-natural 2-finger pockets at Smith, it's nice to have a pointy, cambered, sensitive shoe. Best believe that! What kind of sporty shoes do you have, by the way?

Merry Christmas, etc. Stay out of trouble, don't eat too much, be nice to your relatives, don't drink too much spiked egg nog and shoot anybody (you know who you are), don't slip and fall on the ice, watch out for falling reindeer shit, and fucking enjoy yourselves, for cryin' out loud. Bonus points if you go climbing! Peace and stuff, Dr. Flash "outta here for now" Amazing

What are you doing with that kind of insider information, Off White? You wouldn't happen to be a 33-and-a-third-degree Freemason with direct contact with the Grey Men as well, now would you? Let's see, if we assign a number to each letter in your name given its position in the alphabet like so: O=15 f=6 f=6 W=23 h=8 i=9 t=20 e=5 And then take 15-(6+6), we get 3, then 23-(8+9)+(20/5)=10, then add the two sums together, we get 13, a number of great significance to the Masons! That means you ARE an occult Mason devil-worshiper! The end times are upon us!

Hmm ... strangely enough, the UN doesn't mention anything about a driver's license on their website. Imagine that!

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Author! Author!

Well, dear Trask, Dr. Flash Amazing has in fact been pondering the "does MtnGoat suck?" issue lately. It occurred to DFA that the main reason MtnGoat bugs so much is that he basically never posts anything but exhaustively-argued political repartee. He never swaps good natured jibes (like your punk ass does), never posts a good joke, never throws out beta, never talks about his latest road trip or project or training method. Just plain not very friendly. Which is not to say he's directly unfriendly or hostile, he's just anti-social. Which, in and of itself is no big deal, but coupled with the lockjaw argumentative tenacity and decidedly selfish point of view, makes him an easy choice to dislike. Can't say there's any real personal animosity there. Hey, did anyone hear "Squirrel Cop" on This American Life last night? "I can't point to any one thing you did wrong, and I did call you down here ... but I really can't thank you for this."

DFA rated you a 5 long ago. There seems to be some sort of equalizing movement going on. Sounds vaguely communist, now that DFA thinks about it. Better get out the guns!

Good luck, mouseness. DFA continues to whallop the competition with an astonishing but not entirely unpredictable TEN votes. Count 'em, suckers!

Damn! Found out! DFA is RED with embarrassment!

Nice one.

Seriously, though, Greg; what good DO the weapons do if you can't get to them? Obviously, they're there in the event that you can get to them, but when you can't? And the second theory diggity-does hold water. Why don't ten-year-olds drive cars, why do restaurants bother sanitizing their dishes, why can't any dumbass with a hammer build public buildings? Regulation, dude. Weeds out (most of) the fuckups and ne'er-do-wells to keep people safe.