Dr_Flash_Amazing

OK, Trask, time for your meds, and then it's lights out, alright? Let's not have to shoot you with ketamine darts like last time, OK? Trask? Trask, are you listening? Trask? Shit, he's catatonic again ... will someone get a gurney and a mop?

What's the score for a double-leaning jowler again?

What? You're not supposed to put an H on the words! You dolt! oo-hay aught-tay ou-yay ig-pay atin-lay?!

Well, obviously! You wouldn't be in real good shape either if you ran around all day punching bricks and getting clocked by out-of-control turtle shells!

which one is that? Staender Ridge, you doofus! Like, duh!

"Backed by Columbia's financial strength and operating expertise, the Mountain Hardwear brand provides Columbia the opportunity to profitably increase sales by up to $100 million over five years. Our growth strategy for Mountain Hardwear includes further penetrating high-end specialty retailers, expanding its current product offering, expanding international distribution, and selectively broadeningretail distribution of its products consistent with its specialty store heritage and authentic brand and consumer base. Over time, we plan to integrate sourcing and distribution functions, which should provide us with the opportunity to increase efficiencies and expand gross and operating margins for both companies." Translation: we're hoping to keep the Balinese slave laborers working for three cents a day so that we can keep cranking out down jackets and edge The North Face out of there share of the Nordstrom's market!

daerht fo dne ,t'nseod gnibmilc dna skcus gnikih

Trask, Trask, Trask ... first with the penis envy, and now this? Come now, young man; you need to free yourself from all this jealousy. It's weighing you down! Be thankful for who you are!

An astronaut, too! And a fireman, and a cowboy, and Superman, and Mikhail Gorbachev (don't ask), and ...

Is that how you two met? [ba dump-dump CRASH!] [laugh track] Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, you're a wonderful audience!

Ha HAAAA! That's totally a dis!

Sounds about right.

Fuckin' Dr. Flash Amazing is one chronically villainous bitch, tell you what!

And the fool's Canadian! Psh! What a LOSER!

Like the fact that the fool is from Canada, eh! Psh! What a LOSER!

Why, d'you need someone to pick up the latest copy of 'Busty Sorority Bimbos in Bondage' for you?

DFA works over by that place. The Doctor always wonders if those cars in the parking lot at 9 in the morning are employees or fiends.

Lifts are chipping is aid!

Hangdoggers and rap-bolters! ... hey, waitasecond!

The employment of the phrase "all good" was purely for the purpose of making a small joke, a cap, if you will, on the irrepressibly tradly and it's-not-all-good Mr. Dwayner. Also, do not ever call Dr. Flash Amazing a hippie again, or even use "hippie" in a sentence wherein Dr. Flash Amazing is mentioned.

"still now you can claim first ascent of some a3's right!!! " But will they be first free ascents?!

Gracias, mi amigo. Una cerveza para ti!

Ah, whatever ... it is, as Dwayner likes to say, "all good." Nothing like whiling away some time with one of the great timeless, pointless, and unsolvable debates of the climbing world, though. Hmm, back to sleep!

True fact? DFA always was amazed that Blossom was such a clusterfuck. That would certainly explain it. Did he manufacture Mule Creek Canyon, too? Stupid chipped river all full of jetboats and sunburned gapers and aggro bears, etc.

But why is it OK to damage the rock as long as you don't intend to free the route? But as soon as you intend to free the route it's not OK?