Dr_Flash_Amazing

There was this kid where DFA grew up, named Destin (yeah, not Dustin -- weird). The guy was the local badass, he would pick fights with anyone. He walked like a tough guy, and if he caught you looking at him, or if he wanted to pretend he caught you looking at him, he'd be in your face like that, talking shit and instigating. He dished out numerous beatdowns, and kept building his ego up, building his ego up. He knew he was hot shit, people were scared of him, and he hardly even had to fight most of the time, he'd just get in people's faces and get off on making them back down, to prove he was the man. Which is not to say that he wasn't still more than happy to throw the fists. He perpetrated this routine through middle school and high school, and most people were happy when he moved on. Not too long after graduating, he was at a club in a town a few miles from DFA's home town. He was picking on some kids, being the tough guy, etc. The kids bailed, not wanting to deal with that shit. When Destin left the club later that night, that group of kids was waiting outside with baseball bats. They jumped him and beat him so fucking bad he was in the hospital for a couple weeks. Head injuries, internal bleeding, bunch of broken bones; the whole nine. After that, Destin was one of the nicest guys you ever met. It was amazing. Polite to a fault, no more talking shit or getting in people's faces, none of the old big-man act. Hard to say if it was head injuries or maybe the guy actually learned something, but a better person definitely came out of the hospital than the one that went in. Interesting story.

It's stories like this that make DFA happy to be a sport climber, where the worst you might injure yourself, at least with your climbing equipment, is to drop a quickdraw on your toe, or maybe get some chalk in your eye. Ahh, yes, it pays to be mundane.

You're such a hilarious phenomenon, Caveman. You're like a ranting street person without the excuse of having been turned loose from an underfunded mental institution! Seriously, how d'you do it? Steroid rage? Meth withdrawal? Uppity thyroid? The mind boggles at what mechanism doth make the cave-clock tick!

Nice.

This one'll keel over and drop dead by Sunday afternoon, no question.

"So WHERE is the real terrorist? In the Middle East or in the US? So WHO is the real terrorist? Is it Saddam Hussein or your own presideeeent?!" - Anti-Flag

Word on the street (i.e. smithrock.com) is wear your lid for that rig. Sounds like something of a pile. What you should really check out is Lawson's water groove route over there, either on Kiss of the Lepers or on an adjacent formation. It looks like the coolest damn thing. Comes in at .10c or something.

Good luck. You think DFA hangs around by all that trad climbing crap and easy slabs? Ha! Not bloody likely! You'll have to hurl your precious choss across great distances to maim the wily Dr. Flash Amazing! Bwa HA ha ha ha HAAAAA! Ehhh ...

Friend. Psh, yeah right, like, you wish!

Churning is indeed an evolving living route!! BAWAHAHAHAHA Used to be that there was a giganto foot ledge from which to recompose yourself at the sixth bolt while hanging onto a juggo-hold...Chris Schneider broke off the foothold while he and shelly presson were working the route...CS didn't like SP and proceeded to smash said foothold into powder before it could get glued back on. Foothold helped a ton if you were short (like shelly)...route is actually much better now that the thing is gone...replaces a stance w/ a quik shake and then keep on keeping on until the seventh and then ultimate redpoint satisfaction!!! BAWAHHAHAHAHAHA I think the number of fingers crammed into the holds are artificially deepening the pockets and comfortizing them...you almost need a fricken Number-being-Served to get on that route... Check this story out w/ CrazyPolishedNob! I think he was there w/ a group of us when the schnyde lost it...Man, he was a tool!! Sweet! That story's almost as better than the Cory Jones one! It's cool that the dude smashed the big foothold up. Glued-on holds are usually fairly ugly.

Remarkable, despite your boundlessly entertaining contributions hereto. The mind, it doth boggle.

It's just you. Scram.

Serious muffage. In need of a Brazilian, to be sure.

This was several years back. Right before the last crux on Churning, the main hard crux, at the second-to-last bolt (6th?), there's this good rest on a pretty big pocket/jug for your left hand, which some say was originally chipped, and some say was just a pretty good hold. Churning having one or two suspiciously uniform pockets on it anyway, the former would not be a big surprise. Anyway! Rumor has it that Cory's girlfriend was working on Churning but was having trouble, and so for her birthday, he drilled out the aforementioned jug a bit bigger, so she could cop a better rest and get the send. Now, Churning is an immensely popular route at Smith, as you may have noticed, and it's a very fun climb. Needless to say, many local climbers were not happy to hear that a Smith Rock icon had been retro-chipped, and Cory was essentially run out of town. 'Cause who would want to associate with the guy who chipped Churning? Exactly. That Cory was the chipper is not in doubt. The circumstances surrounding the chipping (For his girlfriend's birthday? C'mon!) have probably been embellished, as they sound a little too convenient and foofy to be true (fabricated, perhaps, to further denigrate Mr. Jones?), but there you have it. Although according to Alan Watts recently, Churning is apparently at least as hard as it used to be, so enough other choss must have come off over the years to balance out the new comfybucket. Apparently a natural pocket near the top has also crumbled recently, leaving a shitty pinch which gives more bang for one's entry-level 5.13 buck. There ya hav'it!

A snafflehound, you say?! Yegads!

It wouldn't be that funny. It is bad form to chip!

There's a book of bathtub erotica printed on paper like that, although that's presumably for durability in the tub and not for resistance to, um, fluids and suchlike.

Dr. Flash Amazing, you may have noticed (had you been paying attention), does not quote himself, but simply refers to himself in the third person. Thus, no, "sheesh" should not have been put in quotes. Thanks, and have a nice day.

Damn, that sucks. So he WAS busting large over the GW of C! What a drag to die. Poor Wang Jiaxong!

Who you callin' gay, maple-boy?!

What are everybody's big plans, you mean. Sheesh.

It's bad form to chip more than what the first-ascensionist chipped. Exhibit A: The Cory Jones/Churning fiasco at Smith

Say, has anyone seen anything interesting going on in this thread? No? Yeah, thought so. OK, then!

Damn. It was better when he was Evel-Knieveling over it. What a puss, then.

That person appears to be jumping or trying to jump over the Great Wall of China on a BMX bike. Is that what's going on there? Looks to be a long way down, 'specially seein' as what that the bike ain't underneath 'em no more.