Dr_Flash_Amazing

Thanks, but DFA has been sending them that shit every damn day since 2000. So far they haven't even addressed DFA's pet issue (Hey dumbass Texan fucker! Get your head outta your ass and quit running this country into the ground, you election-rigging draft-dodger!). It's a shame they aren't more responsive to public opinion, but that's cool. Fucker's just going to have to live out another term in office knowing everyone voted for the other guy, which has got to weigh on your conscience after a while (assuming you have one, of course).

First suggestion is don't get too hung up on finding something with a future in it just yet. At age 15, it's doubtful he's interested in nailing down his future yet, and with the capricious instrument of the adolescent mind leading the way, it's unlikely that whatever future idea comes up today is going to be interesting next week. As far as the job, let him know that pretty much any first job gig is going to be suck. But not having to bum cash off mom every time he wants something is worth it, so encourage him to stick with it. Alternately, there's no reason he shouldn't keep his eye on the paper or whatever to try and find a more appealing job. Just 'cause this job sucks doesn't mean he can't try to find another one -- but he should definitely know that a job is a useful and necessary thing. And if you want to keep him from getting too surly, try to loosen the rules and regs a bit, and choose your battles carefully. If he's gonna be a good (if unwilling) citizen and get a job, maybe you can let him have a mohawk and stay out all night and let him talk like Trask. 'Cause tell you what, a 15-year-old kid is gonna be whacking off, cussing like a sailor, setting shit on fire, blowing stuff up, chasing girls and causing trouble for the hell of it whether you let him do it or not. Giving him a hard time every time he leaves the house "dressed like that" or "with those people" or whatever is just going to cause unnecessary stress for both of you, and he's going to be that much less likely to listen to you or want to talk to you about stuff. Easing up on the little stuff and letting him know you won't lose your shit at the drop of a hat goes a long way toward opening up communication, which is a healthy and frequently absent component of the parent/kid relationship.

How funny; Necronomicon was arguing using Slayer a while back. Hard to argue with that kind of political firepower. And if you get to throw in some upside-down crosses and references to serial killers? Icing on the cake! DFA prefers to debate using punk rock, though. Really, who could refute that George Bush, Jr. is the "idiot son of an asshole"? And no political discussion is really complete without an elbow to the eye, flying spit, and lots of spilled beer.

Dude, typing 60+ WPM isn't worth shit if all the words come out like this: Dude typegn 60= wpM isn't worht shit fi allt htw workds come out liekd htis? You dig? Just think, you could slow down to, say, 45+ WPM and get some accuracy in there, too. But all of this ignores the real issue of what the fuck you're doing with some jive-ass job that doesn't allow you to spray unfettered. You're getting the hose, mate!

Where, please? Spill now.

Those ballaz look like they be reprezentin' from the Central O, Tizimmay. They some homies of your'n from roun' Bachie Village way? Or is they some o' them hard rollaz from the Sizun Rizivva projex? Wou'n't wanna cross them niggaz, fo sheezy!

So ignorance really is bliss! Remarkable.

Closet SUV driver.

Even though your dumb ass is just trolling for all it's worth, you're not funny. Fuck off, pig.

Oh. Good point.

Trask, David Duke just called looking for you. He wants his Andrew Jackson Fanclub Handbook back, and he said to get some scrap lumber and kerosene ready for next weekend, you IGNORANT RACIST FUCK!

So, by your logic, since no Iraqis airlinered American targets on 9/11, it would be stupid to attack them, right? But since Americans trained the people who trained the people who did attack us, maybe we should have bombed America instead? Hell, none of DFA's relatives were mistreated on 9/11. Should he feel sorry for the victims or support America's efforts to rule out terrorism? 'Course not! Time to try thinking beyond that lily-white nose you've been aggressively browning at the ass of the American Me-First Capitalist Way, hoss.

Go fucking cry in your subdivision, honky bitch. You wanna bitch about a couple salmon, try losing your home and having your family massacred. In summary, fuck your petty fish problem.

Did you cheet you are so correct. one of my prize possessions from the 80's Eh? It's not the Ramones?

What're you, Spanish? In America, we put the adjective before the noun, e.g. "killer weed". Anyway, Trask can keep his devil dope; DFA's got sXe! Time for a beer, anyway.

"I ain't gonna be a punk no more!" "What're ya gonna be then, Clyde; a skinhead? Huh!" "I'm gonna be a rudeboy! Like my dad."

No problem. Just spin that white hood of yours around so you can't see shit, then hog tie your sorry ass and drop you off in front of Cannon's Rib Express; see what those boys think of your outfit.

Trask, you're cruising for a Custering, you pasty fuck. Better start washing your greasy hair so we don't get our hands dirty when we come to scalp your cracker ass!

Goat, DFA gives the above post two thumbs up for style ( Count 'em; uno, dos). It's about time you threw in some humor and used some snappy terminology like "toothless numbnuts". That's good shit! And you actually sound riled up, and a little flippant with your criticism, instead of the usual forensic tone and sterile analysis. Just goes to show that pissing on your enemies is far more enjoyable than carefully swabbing them down with lye.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it appears that the boys in LTJ have crafted a fantastically catchy rock and roll album. Is it the Less Than Jake of 'Losing Streak', or of 'Pezcore'? Nope; the songcraft has gone way beyond the hyperspeed straight-ahead ska-core explosions of old. More expressive lyrics, more change-ups in tempo, style, etc., and more rock. Get ready to get sick of hearing (about) Less Than Jake real soon, because 'The Science of Selling Yourself Short' is undoubtedly going to be spilling out of radios everywhere at regular intervals. Make note now that DFA is predicting this as the runaway summer hit, so that when it happens, you can be like "that Dr. Flash Amazing sure knows how to call it. Maybe he could give me some pointers on style, grooming, and etiquette as well!" Y'all heard it here fizzirst!

Illy. Yes. That shit is soooo butter! One expects the clouds to open, sunshine to spill forth, and trumpets to sound when supping that tasty black elixir. Raise a demitasse today!

Yeah, but also to lie about why he's not giving out information, to lie about the information he's not giving out, and to lie when he does occasionally give out some information. Best to just let sleazy dogs lie.