Dr_Flash_Amazing

Now, now, cascadeclamberers would sink like a stone sans the buoying jay-nay-say-kwah of Dr. Flash Amazing's pricelessly witty banter. Better that you should be sponsoring the Doctor's PDXPC visits with free pitchers and gas money.

Sounds like some kind of desperate goob who's just looking for any excuse to tell people about how he whacks off. What a pervo!

Speaking of overcompensating, DFA was out running some errands on Monday, and damned if he didn't see five of them new Hummer H2s within about a 10-block radius. All of them in downtown Portland, all of them spotless. One of them was apparently on its way to a dealer on the back of its very own flatbed tow truck, and was sporting the big (22" or so?) chrome wheels and super-duper-offroad low-profile tires. Even the tie-downs on the back bumper were chrome. So apparently there's a bunch of insecure smalldickers rollin' tuff in the Pearl district in their I-use-more-gas-in-a-mile-than-you-will-all-day-and-I-could-drive-this-thing-straight-up-Mt. Hood-but-I'd-hate-to-sully-my-freshly-waxed-paint-or-get-dirt-on-my-24"-tires Hummers. In case anyone happens to be down there, you know, and wants to put a gallon of gas to good use and serve up some Roast Hummer a la Molotov.

That looks like a great time if you're an engineer or are of a similarly geekish ilk. Looks like someone got high and fucked around with Enercalc too much or something.

veggi, you and I both know that liberals are all premature ejaculators. But is this better or worse than the republicans who can't get it up in the first place?

That phrase has been used before. Who was it that used that before? It was one of the youngsters as I recall. T'was I. Lying sack. It was none other than Dr. Flash Amazing who didst utter the aforementioned phrase in reference to the alleged cave dweller. For sooth!

Metal up your Trask?

Yes, that makes perfect sense. First it was: there's plenty of evidence of WMDs, but we can't tell you what it is. Then it's: we've found lots of WMDs, but we can't tell you what, where, or how many. That would at least be consistent, if nothing else ...

If the New York Times is lying, then where's the story about all the WMDs they're finding in yonder Iraq, genius? Oh, no stories about that, huh? Maybe 'cause there isn't shit over there and the only place Iraq's WMDs ever existed was in G. Bush Jr's head? Hmm ...

How 'bout "CASCADECLIMBERS.COM" in Metallica type letters, with "HORSECOCK UP YOUR ASS" and the hand sticking out of the toilet with horsecock logo like the old Metallica t-shirt?

His point, trask, is that Bush and co. are full of shit. The simple and obvious solution is that either the president and his henchmen should not lie about such important issues as why we go to war. If he is incapable of doing so (apparently the case), he should pack up his cowboy boots and take his ass back to Texas!

Sadly (damn sadly), La Luna is now ... an office building. After several incarnations as various other clubs and then again as La Luna, they went tits up a year or so ago.

It's past midnight. Do you know where your mother is? www.cascadeclimbers.com

Sorry about that. The AmazingCo, Inc. Litigation Department sort of has a mind of its own, and has been known to get a little suit-happy. They're on the verge of taking down Microsoft because their monopolization of the software market too closely mimics Dr. Flash Amazing's monopolization of the spray market. Vicious bunch of pitbulls, they are. Oh, and here's a place that does stickerage for what seems to be pretty cheap: http://www.contagiousgraphics.com/Stickers/stickers.html Last DFA knew, they would give you a discount if you mentioned these guys: http://www.gimetzco.com

To quote Mr. Pete Miser, former MC of the pretty much defunked 5 Fingers of Funk, "say 'heck no!' to techno!"

You're so cruel, you heartless animal!

cascadeclimbers.com Your source for Dr. Flash Amazing since 2002! Or how 'bout: Dr. Flash Amazing made me look like an idiot on cascadeclimbers.com! Or: cascadeclimbers.com Spray now, work later!

No, no, here's an even better idea. How about when one of these jerkbags decides to run for the nation's top office, they don't spout off a bunch of bullshit about how they're going to save the nation's education system when what they really mean is they're going to save the rich a few bil' in taxes while they flush the remaining tax dollars on military spending and then sit back and watch while America's schools compost. How about that?

*engaging the Trasktronix Soberizer Translatotron 5000* "Hey DFA, I was jerking it into a sock the other night when my dog bit me on the ass and I fell off the toilet and bonked my head on the tub. While I was out, I dreamed that you had won the Nobel Prize for both peace and literature. Is that true?" Sorry, Trask, it's not true, although, incidentally, DFA is on the Nobel Economics Prize committee. You ought to submit an entry this year, maybe the Doctor can pull some strings, get you that fame and recognition you've been desperately pining for. 'Til then, keep in mind that diazepam and oxycodone are a potentially dangerous combination, especially on a quart of gin!

Trask, Take meds soon. Sincerely, DFA

And then Bush is all "no child will be left behind", and then all the schools cut a few weeks off their school year and they laid off the teachers. Here's an idea: Bush is a fucking liar and a worthless excuse for a president. And he rigged the shit out of that fucking election, the idiot son of an asshole. HAMM'S!

Lesson: Desert = Dessert =

Nice location, RobBob!

The aggro fucks up the flow. Can't focus on key stuff like staying calm and de-pumped and workin' the feet and all that when you're keen on smashing something. Dr. Flash Amazing advises smashing whatever you need to smash or bashing whomever you need to bash, having a beer or six and a good night's sleep, then hitting the crags. Otherwise your anger is just going to cause you to plummet off your proj, which will just make you more irate, causing you to throw your shoes in the river and curse your belayer, and then you'll just be more pissed, and it'll all be downhill from there.

Wait, weren't we talking about Self-Loathing Camping Devices? Like the new Malden Bi-Polar Fleece?