ivan

the trick to jerking off to a statue of mary, i've found, is trying to get it just right so you can splooge all over her face - that and keeping a woodie if you're doing it to "la pieta" (the dead jesus thing is a bit of a turn-off, no?) does it look like j.c.'s holding a dead squid?

i just got back from dragging a xmas tree and 2 kids home on a sled - i'm wondering if it was a free tree? the entire site was devoid of people, despite being clearly open for business - maybe i shoudl go back and pay later?

chuck d is definetly not gay flavaflav, on the other hand...

is he gay if he's just been sodomizing himself w/ his crucifix? what if he kept his eyes closed the whole time his first priest was giving him a hummer? if he's never jerked off once to a statue of mary?

holy shit - just looked at my asshole in the mirror - it really freaks me out!

i can't go on - depression so great i can't even summon the will to masturbate - lost all interest in beer - would rather drill a hole in my head than watch more tv - too bored to read - trapped - this is the last - opening the door for the ice-zombies - they alone can save me - goodbye cruel world

anyone need a partner for 2morrow?

i got the time, though lacking in much ice pro or decent car - anyone interested?

i hear ya pete - first time in 5 years i can play when the ice comes, my parents flights all cancelled so they're not even coming for xmas, no work, and i can't drive to climb!

i'm starting to think this bush character may not be such a good president for us...

Unfortunately its uphill both ways i didn't notice it on the way back home, mostly b/c i was actively lightening the load as quick as i could - my favorite part was, crossing the farmer's field, when i had a good long piss and appreciated the distinct difference between pissing on plain deep snow and deep snow w/ a thick ice crust

nothing that hiking 4 miles to the store and purchasing 60 lbs of alcohol can't overcome

not for me (i'm an asshole) but for my man ben - i'm bailing on him to play w/ the fam (see kevbone, i have a soul man!?) - ben needs someone for him to keep spanking the ice-monkey with - call him at 503 464 6548

# of folks on the wa side 2day - blake, crackman, marcus and others - geoff, beaconben and i climbed the upper tier upon the advice of tim'n'blake, who were enjoying the lower tiers - popped my water-ice lead cherry - i'm so proud i feel like a little girl

There were a few accidents - what two years back - from folks doing exactly this sort of thing on CJ. I would have thought folks would have learned from that season... whatever you're comfortable w/ - we werent', so waited - they were, so nailed their climb and were back sucking down fruity drinks w/ umbrellas in them while we were still on an increasingly sloppy swamp-side cliff - not certain who made the best call really

BE SURE TO CONSULT OLD TESTAMENT FOR EVENTUAL COOKING RECOMMENDATIONS. STOP. NO-ONE KNOWS HOW TO COOK A BABY BETTER THAN THE SONS OF ABRAHAM! STOP. VAYA CON DIOS MADRE-FUCKERS!

anyone got conditions report for 2day? did shit fall apart too much after the past day of warmness? looks like higher temps will be in to stay after the weekend

SHOULDN'T YOU BE HUNKERING DOWN!?!

talk about a wasted opportunity to avail yerself of the emoticon! :yawn:

anyone want partnership 2morrow? my school just got cancelled, so xmas break has officially started

not when there's ice though...

snow-men are animating into hand-tools of the hell-damned - one of those infected bastards bit me - i can feel the evil creeping into my mind - can't hold on much longer - tell me wife i hated her!

if you are what you eat, she hasn't changed a bit

snow zombies have infested my neighborhood - i'm getting my shaolin spade and heading out to wage war w/ the dead - this may be my last post - praise jeebus!

winter's boy jeff on lead beaconben after the herd had dispersed