burned a bible outside my dormroom my first year of college - an RA walked up, aghast - "what are you doing?" "burning a bible" - the 30 second pause as he tried to process that was perfect - his only response, completly serious - "but...you'll set the concrete on fire!" 
  
"uh....it's been raining all day"  
  
a few years later i enjoyed a beautiful spring day of drinking good beer, listenign to led zeppelin at ear-splitting volumes through the apartment walls, building paper airplanes out of the book of mormon n' setting them on fire as we threw them off the 4 floor of the building - rarely did they reach the ground still ablaze, just wasted bits of fluttering of carbon 
  
neither j.c. nor moroni have seen fit to wreck their destruction down on me or my ilk yet - allah i'm not sure i'd want to fukwit though, ya know?