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ivan

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Everything posted by ivan

  1. you couldn't start a fire to cook yer dinner?
  2. Trip: Bacon Rawk - DA Double Dirty HO - III 5.8 A2 Date: 9/11/2010 Trip Report: on the eternal quest to tick off all the climbs beacon has to offer, i recently laid siege to alan kearney's smooth dancer, unclimbed since the wild n' heady days of the dying nixon admin - figured why not take advantage of all that cleaning n' tidying up i'd already done at the base and try kearney's warm-up, done in '73, dirty double overhang - it appears to have garnered a few more ascents since the fa as it actually has some fixed gear, including some wild relics more properly belonging in jim opdyke's musuem of dreams can the corps of engineers clear cut up to the wall again please so we can actually see the fucking routes in the central roofs? the dirty ho dead center murderers row - the 2nd pitches of the central roof complex - all tough and all deserving the grade III - from left to right - ground zero 5.11D, takes fist 5.10D, the crack 2 nowhere C1, smooth dancer 5.9 A2, dirty doubleoverhang 5.8 A2 joe caught wind of my dreadful preparations, said he'd wanted to do it since wayback, so there we were on a saturday morning attempting to get our heads around the thing - i like having partners sometimes, 'specially since i have little by way of pins or offset cams, and a growing pile of my small cams cry out for re-swaging - joe was eager to lead the 1st pitch too, which looked like crunchy, dirty n' sorta chossy free climbing now clean and the crap stone cast off, p1 is fantastic and should be prized by those who seek moderate beacon routes (this means you kenny ) - 5.8, and very similiar to the butthole bit of young warriors - protects well too - only drawbacks are its a bit short and the original anchor is 3 pins at the bottom of a cramped stance - needs proper webbing so you can rap n' tr off it - other really interesting and now top-ropable routes here too that first day joe wanted to see what could be freed of the clearly much harder 2nd pitch - turned out to be mostly aid and required a couple pins, which we've left behind - the 2nd anchor is also pins, one of which was this kniveblade, which made a better piece of art than pro joe had to head off for the evening, so i fixed my line n' contented meself w/ a cordless lap up the corner where i ran into the gang making their malingering escape up uprising, including the savage slav mitchondria, jimmy o, wes n' kenny came back sunday but it was rainy in the morning and by the time i'd wandered down to the base my taste for soloing was sour - joe showed up but couldn't stay for long - i ended up jugging to the hanging anchor, told joe to head up to the lower one and stay put, since there was no room for him higher up and the anchor gave me the heebie-jeebies anyhow - thin, thin, thin from the start, i only had time to get up a few pieces by the time he had to be off to commit godknows what sort of hellish crime against teh interwebs, so i settled for lowering down n' fixing a proper static line to the whole affair that i might just ignore the whole project for a few months a week later i was back in spirits though and well-armed w/ joe's generous loan of every concievable pin n' aid-piece known to mankind plus some offsets, i got my head wide n' full of sunshine n' fresh air n' blasted off alone in the glorious early morning ambiance of a september day - wigged out at the very likely prospect of a high-force fall onto the less than amazing anchor, 30 feet up i reached way off route and linked a big #3 into the anchor and started to feel okay about being up on a long series of birdbeaks n' tiny offsets as i uncovered grass n' moss from the long overhanging seam, some antiques emerged - gotta dig on how the mold n' lichen have colonized that old perlon, ninja-style hammered in hex - sure, whynot? bet that cord has at least 20 more years in it! soon enough for a solo adventure i was in the upper third of the route, pic here before the cleaning - as soon as you switch cracks right and pass the first overhang of bears in heat, the aiding eases considerably, becoming c1f - i was happy to be off all the beaks n' kniveblades, even as my eyeballs were massively exfoliating cornea-material from all the dirt n' veggies i was scraping out fun moment under the last roof when the 0 cam i was on exploded a softball sized rock and cast me off - luckily the other 0 i'd linked it to was outside the blast zone so it was the classic ahhhhhh 5 inch aid fall nice n' steep up there - no wonder the route hasn't been all freed as its usually past vertical and the middle third is quite blank the final run up to grassy ledges is easy aid now that the trees have been chopped out - the final move requires topstepping n' freeing onto the choss gutter that marks the exit - annoyingly the fifi on the daisy refused to clean, and w/ no pro to be had, or an anchor (there is none, despite what the topo might show ) i cleaned till i found an edge and lowered down on a hook to free meself (also had the solo aid joy of having to stop mid-climb and lower down to unsnarl the lead-line, despite having rigged it up to prevent fubarage) the lack of anchor was annoying, but fortunately i'd cleaned the necessary #4 camalot from below and between that and the smooth dancer anchor, fixed everything up and went back down to clean the pitch pitch 3, the dirty ho, ready for cleaning joe had said he'd be fine w/ me leaving any pins i placed, so i left 4 kbs, but i cleaned all my beaks, 'cept this motherfucker which felt like staying despite my raping the shit out of the entire neighborhood to get it out beers n' sangria n' smokes n' russian lessons in the p-lot and a cool wind - satisfaction, a fine feeling. in all, this route is a great one that deserves more traffic - moderate free climbing p1, mixed free/aid p2, a2 start to p3 becoming c1, and enough fixed gear now that a climber only needs to bring some beaks and a lost arrow or 2 - best style to shortfix p2&3 together - throw in a riverside exit to the trail and it beats the upper town walls of index n' a grade iv fo'shizzle Gear Notes: thin route, but a c4 #4 essential for the last couple feet and to redirect the anchor (#5 even better for that purpose)
  3. cock suckaaaaa!
  4. 6 minute video? that about covers the entire time pat managed to stay awake that there trip best piece of bushwacking advice ever: "big man, big trees"
  5. ivan

    God vs. Allah

    don't think the florida crowd here quite classify as libtards - the libtards i know are actually pretty cool n' excited about someone torching a b.s. religious tract on national t.v. n' getting all the other monkies extra excited
  6. funny what hairless monkies find fun
  7. ivan

    God vs. Allah

    if we could just figure out how to print american flags AND korans on kevlar tissue paper we could put these fucking problems to bed
  8. clearly it would be the climb having the least amount of fun.
  9. ivan

    God vs. Allah

    no, no, kk is right and george carlin was wrong
  10. yes, according to libtard bitches who are racists fucks deep at heart broken record
  11. ivan

    God vs. Allah

    You could as easily give me $20 to yell "*!" as loud as I could on some street-corners in South Central LA to the same effect (i.e. I would offend almost everyone and probably offend a small minority to the point of taking action). I would not however blame Africans in general for my resulting plight. Get a clue. sounds like the start of die hard 3! but hey, samual jackson was zues in that one so how do we score bruce willis' performance? you guys are like dogs chasing your tails on the racism thing...wtf does it matter what you say? its what you think that determines racism
  12. indeed, though sadly the virtual form of political conversation makes it harder to seduce and hate-fuck your female opponents at the end of the evening when the booze is all drunk... i have great faith in yer intellect jay - yer clearly well-read and have no problem puttin a bunch of facts together into a well reason-agrument - i have no faith however in The Boss taking good care of me so long as i keep quiet
  13. fear and very foul winter weather make wonderful incentives
  14. you will never succeed in convincing workers not to form unions, jay wal-mart would love to put you on retainer for their friendly employee-training seminars however...
  15. ivan

    God vs. Allah

    fuck both of them wimp-gods! i wanna see them take on ganesh!
  16. gently, people, gently i've sure done dumb things on that there hill - first time i ever glissaded was below crater rock - w/ crampons on and ski-poles instead of axe for the brake i made it all of 5 feet before becoming a sad lump of catapulting shame - mountains seem to let you fuck up once or twice....
  17. aww..not to harsh too heavy though - i'm a cheerleader for folks doing stupid shit and do plenty meself - climbing volcanoes at their maxed melted out sans brainbucket just ain't it for me - congrats on your off-season sucess
  18. ugh. and w/o helmets as well in the mother of all bowling alleys?
  19. ivan

    God vs. Allah

    in my own defense, i had at least READ the books i burned - gotta imagine most of these folks in florida who want to torch their korans (which waht, they're buying off ebay at apostate prices? ) don't know a goddamn bit 'bout isnads n' hadith n' whatnot
  20. ivan

    God vs. Allah

    no shit - somethign about that total low-rent tissue-thin paper of free religious tracts is perfect for scooping out the ole'corn-hole!
  21. if you don't get the government small than how else will it fit in everybody's bedroom!?!
  22. ivan

    God vs. Allah

    burned a bible outside my dormroom my first year of college - an RA walked up, aghast - "what are you doing?" "burning a bible" - the 30 second pause as he tried to process that was perfect - his only response, completly serious - "but...you'll set the concrete on fire!" "uh....it's been raining all day" a few years later i enjoyed a beautiful spring day of drinking good beer, listenign to led zeppelin at ear-splitting volumes through the apartment walls, building paper airplanes out of the book of mormon n' setting them on fire as we threw them off the 4 floor of the building - rarely did they reach the ground still ablaze, just wasted bits of fluttering of carbon neither j.c. nor moroni have seen fit to wreck their destruction down on me or my ilk yet - allah i'm not sure i'd want to fukwit though, ya know?
  23. ivan

    God vs. Allah

    allah is great, just not great enough to put out his book when it's on fire? seems unlikely these folks know how to read anyhow, they're probably just jealous n' angry
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