I met a guy on the Garibaldi trail once portaging a canoe by himself with a case of beer (it was probably Extra Old Stock or Carling Black Label) in each hand. He asked me how far the lake was.
have yourself neutered, then. 7% of the body's energy goes to maintaining the reproductive system. think how much stronger you will be once you're fixed!
Forget your "not even round" point, you can use flat webbing with Bachmann/Kleimheist knot just fine. Melting point and slipperiness are the main drawbacks.