allthumbs

Thanks for the answers. I'll talk to a good doctor and consider it seriously. It would be nice to wake up Sunday morning and see how mangy the coyote next to me really is.

quote: Originally posted by vegetablebelay: Don't go away mad Trask. Who's mad? Not me chodelicker...

You know Vegieboy, I'm at work. Unfortunately that means I have to do some work from time to time. Unlike you I am not an unemployed pensioner with no life outside this board. I'm so sorry you've had to play with yourself for the last hour or so, I thought you'd be used to playing with yourself by now. Lick this, you know you like it...

Who cares on these message boards? Not this pilgrim. In business, yes, get it right or don't expect me to read it.

jpeg's don't work??? [ 03-08-2002: Message edited by: trask ]

??? [ 03-08-2002: Message edited by: trask ]

I love chili. I even bring it along on hiking trips. For those of you who have lived in Texas as I have , you know how True this is! They actually have a chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome! I know this isn't about climbing, but it's kinda funny and I thought you guys would appreciate it. INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Tester Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon, when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the event: CHILI # 1 MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick. JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. FRANK: Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. CHILI #2 ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang. JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. CHILI #3 FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans. JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers. FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now: Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all the beer. CHILI#4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. Bitch is starting to look HOT just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac? CHILI # 5 LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very Impressive. JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage, Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks! CHILI # 6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers. JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I **** myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally, She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone! CHILI # 7 SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like **** to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. CHILI # 8 LESTER'S LAST OF THE RED-HOT LOVER'S CHILI JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare it's existence. JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild or hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili? trask

I'm sick of wearing contacts. Have any of you bums done the lazer surgery thing? I'm strongly considering it, but would like to hear from anyone that's had it done. I don't climb on anything but the neighbor girl so I'm not worried about high altitude affects. [ 03-08-2002: Message edited by: trask ]

quote: Originally posted by MysticNacho: [QB]I have two orders of business regarding Mr. Dru.QB] I tried to read your long, boring, not funny post about Dru. You are an idiot. Way to many drugs. Way out there. Are you sure you and Moron aren't related?

quote: Originally posted by Dru: so what comes next in that list, trask, you? why not? I'll wait until you're finished though.

Veggieboy got a new rifle, so he wentbear hunting. He saw a small blackbear and shot it. He felt a tap on hisshoulder. He turned around and came faceto face with a big black bear.The bear said, "you've got two choices, I maul you, or we have rough sex". Veggie decided to bend over. He was sore for two weeks, he recoveredand vowed revenge. He headed out onanother trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Again there was a tap on his shoulder. This time it was a huge grizzlybear. The grizzly said "you made a big misteak, you've got two choices, either Imaul you to death or we have rough sex". Veggie thought it might be better to complywith the bears wishes, and bent over... Although it it was a couple of months,Veggie recovered. He was outraged, he decided to find the grizzly and shoot himnot once but several times, just to make sure he was dead. Feeling rather giddy, he didn't notice a really, really big polar bear behind him. The bear finally got his attention and said to Veggie, "Admit it Veg, you don'treally come here for the hunting, do you?"

quote: Originally posted by whillans: Go tell it to Larson wimpy boy blow me, asseyes

I have an idea. Why not just lay off the shit while visiting a foreign country. Or would that put some of you into withdrawls? If so, I wouldn't want you holdin' my rope.

[ 03-07-2002: Message edited by: trask ]

heh klar dork...it's like this [/img] you and moron related?

I'm considering putting a condom on my keyboard so that I can practice safe browsing.

because I can

Dru, that's fuckin hilarious. Good one! You truly are the master of disaster. And no, I don't want to hump your leg like a dog. outtrasked again [ 03-07-2002: Message edited by: trask ]

This place sucks without the butt pirate. We need someone to step up and take charge of mayhem and social improprieties.

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one handy. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches setting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. ...Naturally, he began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?!" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

and you boys wonder why the gurlz don't want nuttin' to do witcha... sickos and perverts

quote: Originally posted by allison: ? If someone's lame, don't assume we'll let them into OUR club.Well boys, here it is right in front of y'all. As Allison so shamelessly avows, the battle of the sexes is alive and well. It's all so boring. Games for the 20 somethin' crowd. My mail order deaf, dumb, and flatheaded housegirl is the way to go. [ 03-07-2002: Message edited by: trask ] [ 03-07-2002: Message edited by: trask ]

Yep, any way you slice it, it's a damn sausage fest. Hey, maybe that's okay. It is held on a Tuesday night for christ's sake. If y'all want to chase skirts, do it on a Friday or Saturday night. Nothing wrong with the "boys" getting together on a weeknight for some "Bullshit Artistry 101". Trask has spoken. P.S. I for one am very sorry to see Capt. Caveman go. He was a true spraymeister from the word go. The boards just haven't been the same, for me anyway. Here's at you Cavey!

quote: Originally posted by Dru: you cant prove something doesnt exist by not shooting it... I'm not buyin this sasquatch shit till I share a bong with one

quote: Originally posted by mr. happy: anybody find that car yet? I did, but Rosie Palm had to help me find it.