DOOD!!! Have you NOT dumped this bitch yet? C'mon, man, tell her you have bone cancer and are going to travel around the world for the last six months of your life, or visit the Dalai Lama, or something.
The sex has been too phenomenal. I'm weak. I love to fuck. What can I say. BUT, I can't stand the sight of her anymore. She pulls into the driveway and I go, "oh fuck, she's here, please god, kill me". Then she screws my socks off and am ashamed for not having the balls to do something about it. Maybe tomorrow.
BTW Josh, congratulations