chris_stolz Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Trip: Mt Stuart - Direct North Ridge Date: 7/26/2014 Trip Report: Henrik and I found the first crux of Stuart to be not stopping at all the yummy Mmerican Mcdonalds with their extra-sweet ketchup on our Saturday drive down to Stuart. We hiked in via Ingalls Lake to the base of North Ridge past several hundred dogs and some Americans slightly less fat than most of their countrymen and were in about 6 hours at the base of the North Ridge. Our rack: 8 camalots .3-#4, 2 link cams, a few nuts, 3 tiblocks w/ lockers, 1 grigri, 2 draws, 7 short slings, 4 long slings Approach beta: for the shortened north ridge, stay high on the glacier after Goat Pass (you might want crampons-- it's steep) then traverse into that awful gully that accesses ridge. For CNR, stay below glacier on snowfields and talus. Why would anyone do the abbreviated version? That would be like looking at a cake but not being allowed to eat any of the icing. After a spectacular sunset and hearing a couple on about p4 debate which shitty slanting waterless bivvy spot to use, we slept and awoke at 4:30 and after pork sausage and cowboy coffee I was placing gear at 6 a.m. We linked the first two 5.7 pitches then Hinkie led the 5.9, after which we busted out the gri-gri and the tiblocks and started simuling. We rocketed up perfect granite. The usual high ridge beta is key: stay on the very edge for nicest moves and best views and exposure. We passed a party of four who were on their 3rd day on the ridge. They had an astonishing number of ropes and were moving glacially. At the gendarme were three parties including one three-person group, all of whom said "yes we will be hauling our packs" so we bolted for the bypass which featured a rappel and then me leading out a few snowy moves before back into perfect white granite. As Henrik belayed me out the party of four decided also to bypass and as the older dude in that party rapped down, he slipped and flipped upside down due to his mega pack and started to slide along his rope, barely catching himself before he hit the rock shelf. USE A FRIKKIN' PRUSSIK WHEN RAPPING IN ALPINE, ppl! After about 200 meters of simuling in front of me appeared a guy who stood in a sandy alcove, adn was clipped to an anchor, and this dude was hallucinating. He was talking to himself. "Take, take, take" then I realised he had a radio. Oh f*ck I thought, the clearest sign of idiocy in the mountains is the carrying of a radio. I mean you're pitching the route out in perfect sunny windless weather, I KNOW you checked the forecast cos you also have one of those tv-sized smartphones, and you still need a radio? Did God cancel your voice for this climb? Anyways after Radio Man started up and knocked some rocks onto us we headed left and arrived at summit. 6 hours. If there hadn't been clusterf*ck at gendarme and Hinrik getting off route for a bit and me being too much of a pussy to get a few nuts out (and one more tiblock) I bet we could have done it in 4. The descent-- follow cairns around SW side of false summit, down small steep snowfield,, then head right into upper Cascadian then right again through dwarf pines into lower Cascadian-- took about three rock-filled-boot hours. I was VERY glad to have short glacier axes. We brewed coffee at the creek and waited for the sun to disappear from the Longs Pass trail then had a lovely walk back to car. OK some notes on Da Biz: -- ppl who wanted to "go light" and slept in a bivvy sack without a sleeping bag screwed themselves. If you are freezing and miserable, the lack of sleep will slow you WAY more than an extra pound of sleeping bag will. -- I brought 3 litres and that was about right. Water available below false summit. North Ridge mid-summer is in sun all day = HOT -- Doing it in 2 days? The best way is what we did: sleep at base of North Ridge. There is water, flat wide bivvy spots, and it's warmer. You get a better sleep & more hydration, then you can blast the route in 1 day (assuming you are fast). If you slept on ridge would be colder, less water, less comfy bivvies etc. -- I would bring fewer nuts and 4 tiblocks and a lighter rope for simuling. The system really does work amazingly well. -- Technology is f*ckin' stoopid. You do NOt need a sat pphone, GPS, smartphone, radio, altimeter, etc. Go to the base, climb the route, keep your eyes open. Here are some pics if google docs will let me post these. First me on the ridge [img:center]https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B0ojBPr6OiMSeWdmaENjM2I3c0U&usp=sharing_eil'>https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B0ojBPr6OiMSeWdmaENjM2I3c0U&usp=sharing_eil[/img] Us on summit https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B0ojBPr6OiMSeWdmaENjM2I3c0U&usp=sharing_eil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewhittaker Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Wow. You guys truly are better than everyone else. Congratulations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
counterfeitfake Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 sprayyyyyyyy That would be like looking at a cake but not being allowed to eat any of the icing. For me, climbing a couple thousand feet of easy stuff and skipping the 2 good pitches would feel that way. No accounting for personal taste... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete_H Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Ha. Also, Stuart isn't in the North Cascades last I checked. Nice job though. N ridge definitely sees a lot of traffic on weekends this time of year. It is a mega classic after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_stolz Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 sprayyyyyyyy That would be like looking at a cake but not being allowed to eat any of the icing. For me, climbing a couple thousand feet of easy stuff and skipping the 2 good pitches would feel that way. No accounting for personal taste... True but prob was, you wait 2 hrs and you gotta be at work Monday in Canada, no time to waste. I have a return engagement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_stolz Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Wow. You guys truly are better than everyone else. Congratulations. Duh. Obvs. I've taught everyone from Reinhold Messner to Steve House to Alex Honnold and even my dog how to climb. It is only natural that I do everything faster, lighter, harder, in better style, with better make up on, under tougher conditions, etc, than anyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewhittaker Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 And all that, while still keeping it classy and humble. Keep trying buddy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRep Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 And the worst CNR TR on this site goes to... It honestly sounds like you guys had a terrible time up there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBC Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Never did like icing myself. Usually pull it off the cake and give it to my wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
telemarker Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Why would you rap into the loosest, shittiest gully on Stuart (bypassing two of the best pitches on the route) then complain that people are knocking rocks down on you? I bet you could have done it in 3 hours without all the extra weight of those tiblocs. But then again, how would you be rad in the alpine without them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshK Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Too bad your ability to use google drive isn't the equal of your ability to chestbeat (and simultaneously insult everybody) about climbing a trade route. We can't even see the picture of your douchebaggy self since you set permissions incorrectly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevino Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 After all the pre-trip beta you got from this website it still took you two days to do the ridge? Geez. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_stolz Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Too bad your ability to use google drive isn't the equal of your ability to chestbeat (and simultaneously insult everybody) about climbing a trade route. We can't even see the picture of your douchebaggy self since you set permissions incorrectly. Ya true I didn't bother figuring it out. Sorry man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_stolz Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 After all the pre-trip beta you got from this website it still took you two days to do the ridge? Geez. LOL ya a friend did the ridge in under 3 hrs hers is the record to beat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avalanche_Lilly Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Haters gonna hate. Really enjoyed watching you guys fly by (we were the last in line at the cluster at the gendarme), it's like you were running but climbing. When I grow up I hope I can climb that fast and efficiently! Thanks for giving me a vision to aspire to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BootsandPants Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Wait, this was meant to be a serious TR? My trolldar is all out of whack these days... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riley81 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Mods please move this TR to the spray forum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshK Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Haters gonna hate. Really enjoyed watching you guys fly by (we were the last in line at the cluster at the gendarme), it's like you were running but climbing. When I grow up I hope I can climb that fast and efficiently! Thanks for giving me a vision to aspire to. "Haters gonna hate"...LOL. It's not hating when people are rightfully calling out the OP for being insulting and condescending for no reason. There are plenty of folks on this board capable of climbing that route just as fast while also including some nice pics, useful beta, good writing and an absence of douchebaggery. If the vision you are aspiring to is writing bad TRs on CC.com and portraying a lack of innerweb social skills (ok, an oxymoron i'll admit), good luck with that. In any event, while the TR may only get a D+ at best, I'd say given the number of replies so far on a commonly done route, it's probably a solid B to B+ trolling effort. But hey, if nothing else, thanks for the reminder that when I repeat this route I will go on a weekday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TofuTodd Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Trolls on trolls on trolls. This intertubez site is strictly for loving and poetic posts only. Everyone back to work. PS. Can you guys keep in down next time you're on a 50 classic rather than moan about how good the ridge feels rubbing on your nuts? When I'm two hours from Seattle on a weekend, I like to pretend I'm all alone out there. PPS. To whomever (not you two) left the huge shit on route, throw it off the GD mountain next time please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete_H Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 After all the pre-trip beta you got from this website it still took you two days to do the ridge? Geez. LOL ya a friend did the ridge in under 3 hrs hers is the record to beat Not C to C obviously. I bet the ridge itself gets climbed in under three hours all the time, even by wankers like me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_stolz Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 I should have totally upped the shit-talk factor when I posted this. It should have been WAY more outrageous. Because I made it slightly serious (or slightly outrageous depending on your PofV) it gets misinterpreted. So I am gonna post a serious one in the right forum (not north cascades). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRep Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Is SummitchaserCJB back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 nothing wrong w/ being a douche-bag, just gotta make the poetry work and the tr sing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairweather Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Wow, reading a TR like this makes me want to sell all my gear and disassociate myself from the sport entirely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boadman Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 After all the pre-trip beta you got from this website it still took you two days to do the ridge? Geez. LOL ya a friend did the ridge in under 3 hrs hers is the record to beat Not C to C obviously. I bet the ridge itself gets climbed in under three hours all the time, even by wankers like me. Really? The CNR? I call bullshit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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