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Posted

Trip: Assguard Pass - Assguard Pass Std. Route

 

Date: 6/21/2009

 

Trip Report:

Went up to Colchuck to try our metal on the Cascade jewel Assguard Pass.

 

 

Our objective:

assg.jpg

 

Who doesn't want a piece of this?

assg_2_.jpg

 

WARNING! THIS PHOTO CONTAINS FORESHORTENING!

assg_3_.jpg

 

We whooped up yelps of Alpine Joy to be on such a route

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Some hideous stack of rocks that surround this beauty

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This is what we came for

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Until we meet again fair lady

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Some other junk we saw

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get sum

 

Gear Notes:

tennis shoes

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Posted

One gear note: I did not consume any natural food on this climb. I subsisted soley off of energy gels, goo packets, red bull, 5 hour energy ("5 hour foot longs" should be the next cialis or viagra commercial btw) and other chemicals. i know mixing these substances is dangerous, but it had to be done in the name of science.

Posted

I (we) spent saturday testing our mettle on this untamed alpine hardman testpiece. I suffered a tweaked knee while attempting to jump across a gap and slipping at the same time while trying to avoid falling 7 feet headfirst onto a boulder. Water bottle in hand with yoghurt bars went flying everywhere. We should have aided this section but my hardman partner insisted we simul-solo this. His fault not mine. We met a couple who looked forlorn sitting on some rocks. I told them I had just peed on a goats head. (True story with picture proof) They told us they were lost. "Where are you guys headed?" Them: "The Enchantments" Me: (Looking upward then back at them) "Nice" Assguard Pass claims three more victims of its selfish chossy satanic desire. I'll be back Assguard. And next time I'll send hard.

Posted
we were not without injury

 

 

assGird.jpg

 

not to mention my mental scars

 

Forgive me for being an armchair mountaineer, but if you're not going to rope up, shouldn't you have at least worn some kneepads?

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