Pope Benedict is Gay

[prole]

Anybody this homophobic has got to be a closet case.

[olyclimber]

I think you should go tempt him with your fruits to test your theory.

[prole]

I think you should go tempt him with your fruits to test your theory.

 

No need. Anyone who thinks that gay sex is a threat to the very survival of the human species must by definition think that gay sex is so good that once you participate in it, you'll never do straight sex again.

[olyclimber]

well...have you tried it? how did you arrive at this theory?

[dberdinka]

Further Evidence

 

[Bug]

Further Evidence

 

This only proves that he lives in Italy.

 

[mike1]

there's no place like home...

[mike1]

A suggestion by Pope Benedict XVI that homosexuality is as much of a threat to the survival of the human race as climate change sparked outrage among gay rights campaigners on Tuesday

What a fucked up thing to say!

[prole]

Nope, never tried it. You seem "curious" though. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) No theories at work here. The logical conclusion to the Pope's statement: "gay sex is a grave threat to humanity's future existence on planet Earth", is that gay sex is so tempting and so superior to straight sex that if people are given the choice between straight and gay sex, people may never engage in procreation again. Only a homo would make that argument. The Pope is gay. I rest my case.

[ivan]

is he gay if he's just been sodomizing himself w/ his crucifix?

 

what if he kept his eyes closed the whole time his first priest was giving him a hummer?

 

if he's never jerked off once to a statue of mary?

[olyclimber]

i'm glad you spent a lot time thinking this through. your logic seems very Rumsfeldian.

[olyclimber]

he probably is gay though. just like all of California.

[G-spotter]

Man to man

I don't know if they can

From what I know

The parts don't fit

(Ahh shit)

[ivan]

chuck d is definetly not gay

 

flavaflav, on the other hand...

[STP]

Nope, never tried it. You seem "curious" though. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) No theories at work here. The logical conclusion to the Pope's statement: "gay sex is a grave threat to humanity's future existence on planet Earth", is that gay sex is so tempting and so superior to straight sex that if people are given the choice between straight and gay sex, people may never engage in procreation again. Only a homo would make that argument. The Pope is gay. I rest my case.

 

I don't know but anyone who's into those frilly clothes and all that theatrical pomp and circumstance has to be stuck with a Liberace complex. Maybe he's just an out and out freak. I hear celibacy will do that to you.

[G-spotter]

chuck d is definetly not gay

 

flavaflav, on the other hand...

 

doesn't Flav have like 7 kids each with a different mother?

[ivan]

the trick to jerking off to a statue of mary, i've found, is trying to get it just right so you can splooge all over her face - that and keeping a woodie if you're doing it to "la pieta" (the dead jesus thing is a bit of a turn-off, no?)

does it look like j.c.'s holding a dead squid?

[tvashtarkatena]

Well, I no longer have to wonder whether or not Ivan's going to keep me company for eternity after we're both murdered by fundamentalists of some sort.

 

WILL GOD LET THAT SHIT SLIDE?

 

Tune in next week....

 

 

Edited December 23, 2008 by tvashtarkatena

[ivan]

Well, I no longer have to wonder whether or not Ivan's going to keep me company for eternity after we're both murdered by fundamentalists of some sort.

 

WILL GOD LET THAT SHIT SLIDE?

 

Tune in next week....

 

nah, i'm thinking there'll be a more exclusive, inner-most circle for you, heretic

 

still - take a look above - you're telling me that, if she's good enough for hte big G to choose as his baby's-mama, that my hard-on's inappropriate?

[tvashtarkatena]

I used to think that evangelical homophobia = closet case, but not anymore. I've been watching the evangelical channels lately, searching for life's meaning and a new hairstyle. Actually, some of the newer preachers are remarkably well dressed, although their women still resemble overturned paint trucks, but I digress.

 

As near as I can understand it, these evangelicals maintain that the gays piss God off in the way that Sodom and Gomorha did (yeah, I know, I didn't bother to Google the spelling, so fuck off), presumably by fucking the wrong hole on the wrong person, thus flaunting His Word, which explicitly prohibits certain holes on certain persons from being fucked.

 

In any case, God's gonna come down in His Ever Loving Mercy and kill most of us horribly, after making us suffer in some imaginative and prolonged ways that only God, being super smart and super wise, is really capable of. We then are to be thrown into a burning lake for an eternal and not very refreshing swim. All this because a few, a happy few of us are pissing God off by dressing up like feaux nazis and taking way too much X. What I don't get is why the evangelicals are pissed, because the sooner God comes down to rape our planet with a divine chain saw, the sooner they get Raptured. The rest of us, presumably, just get ruptured. But we're fine with it, because we're exactly holding our breath for the clouds to part for the Warrior Christ. Maybe irony is one of God's greatest gifts to us...or at least some of us.

 

Pope Benedict is simply trying to compete for flockage with the evangelicals by immitating their fetish for suffering through self denial and envy of those who aren't self denying. What else can he do? Catholisism is on its way out, given that a third of it's dwindling priesthood diddles altar boys, and even Catholics, who regularly eat the body and blood of Christ, don't go in for that shit. Benedict realized that a) the Vatican needed a new marketing campaign and b) the more hardcore the religion, the more it attracts a certain type of hardcore wannabe, the type that pay up. There seem to be quite a few of those around these days. It's like the Marines, 'only a few good men' need apply, only the marines aren't actually pasty skinned pussies and, unlike the marines, the evangelicals will take anybody with a pulse and a checkbook.

 

So there you have it; ghey hatred explained. God monitors who purchases buttplugs for His Son's Birthday, so pay cash or you better watch out.

Edited December 23, 2008 by tvashtarkatena

[Hugh Conway]

You seen the pictures of his young, male, aides?

 

Flaming gay

[tvashtarkatena]

For further question concerning God and the meaning of life, please send your inquiry, along with a generous love offering, to Tvashtar Ministries, right here on Christian Consciousness dot come all ye faithful.

Edited December 23, 2008 by tvashtarkatena

[Fairweather]

I used to think that muslim homophobia = closet case, but not anymore. I've been watching the muslims lately, searching for life's meaning and a new burka. Actually, some of the newer imams are remarkably well dressed, although their women still resemble overturned paint trucks, but I digress.

 

As near as I can understand it, these muslims[ maintain that the gays piss God off in the way that Sodom and Gomorha did (yeah, I know, I didn't bother to Google the spelling, so fuck off), presumably by fucking the wrong hole on the wrong person, thus flaunting the word of Muhammad, which explicitly prohibits certain holes on certain persons from being fucked.

 

In any case, Allah gonna come down in His Ever Loving Mercy and kill most of us horribly, after making us suffer in some imaginative and prolonged ways that only Allah, being super smart and super wise, is really capable of. We then are to be thrown into a burning lake for an eternal and not very refreshing swim. All this because a few, a happy few of us are pissing Allah off by dressing up like feaux nazis and taking way too much X. What I don't get is why the muslims are pissed, because the sooner Allah comes down to rape our planet with a divine chain saw, the sooner they get Raptured. The rest of us, presumably, just get ruptured. But we're fine with it, because we're exactly holding our breath for the clouds to part for the 12th Imam. Maybe irony is one of Allah greatest gifts to us...or at least some of us.

 

Muhammad is simply trying to compete for flockage with the terrorists by immitating their fetish for suffering through self denial and envy of those who aren't self denying. What else can he do? Islam is on its way out, given that a third of it's dwindling practitioners diddles boys, and even ...

 

Classic libtard double standard. Islam must not be offended, but Christians are fair game. What a bunch of losers.

[tvashtarkatena]

Well, there are a few differences. You hate all Muslims, to the point of wanting to torture, imprison, and kill them. We only make fun of evangelicals and other Christian extremists, but would never wish them to come to any actual harm. We would just like them to stop trying to harm others.

 

Look at it this way; it's the difference between being a psychopath such as yourself, who revels in the suffering of others, and simply having a relatively normal, emotionally balanced sense of humor about organizations and their melodramatic actors whose primary purpose seems to be to fleece their flocks.

 

Put another way, would Mark Twain be able to differentiate between the two of us? Why, I believe he would.

Edited December 23, 2008 by tvashtarkatena

[Fairweather]

Your regular denial of The Holocaust and expressed hatred of Jews and Hispanics right here on this site and on your personal web page render you ineligible to comment on the subject of race. I couldn't care less about your Christian bashing, but that you more willing to lend sympathy to a religion which breeds real violence is telling about your mental state.

Edited December 24, 2008 by Fairweather