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Posted (edited)

Trip: FA: Tvashtarivan, the Inbred Giant's Nose -

 

Date: 6/17/2007

 

Trip Report:

After a satisfying day of cragging around Peek-a-Boo tower, Ivan and I decided to do a little exploring for FA possibilities. What we discovered astounded us.

 

Less than an hour from the car, this virgin wall appeared before us. It resembled a retarded giant, glowering down, daring us to climb up the middle of his forehead.

 

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Once at the base, mythical creatures emitting tiny sounds like deflating party balloons tried to block our progress, but we soldiered on.

 

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Well equipped for unconsentual penetration, they threatened us with communicable skin conditions, but our ascent continued.

 

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We were two, alone against the untouched monolith towering above us. Magic was afoot. The Goddess was alive. Inconveniently, a tree sprouted from my crotch.

 

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Between our shaking legs only a tiny, helmeted partner against the void of outer space. We climbed so fiercely that many of our cams became irretrievably lodged. Soon, we were hammering home our last remaining rusty bongs and pitons.

 

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Even the previous night’s ill advised chili dinner could not spoil my unbridled joy in being the first mortals to levitate upward through such a effervescent sea of chickenhawks.

 

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My partner, too, overcame repeated gassy, oily discharge to finally summit.

 

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At last, we had scaled what will undoubtedly become a four star classic, which we dubbed “Tvashtarivan; the Inbred Giant’s Nose Route”. It is our gift to all of you.

 

 

 

Gear Notes:

Gear to 4", pitons, bongs, fixed cams, you name it.

 

Approach Notes:

1 hour from the car!

Edited by tvashtarkatena
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Posted
That's weird, cuz the only signs of previous human contact we encountered were midway up the first pitch: three stuck cams and a bail off sling magic markered with "Dirty Little Lying Bitch 2002" on it.

what about the gads of used rubbers n' tuffs of goat-fur at the top out of pitch one?

Posted

but seriously, an excellent route for any newbie looking to build a basic rack - take 2 nut tools n' some wd-40 and you can have plenty for your next adventure - perhaps you can recirculate them through the holy dharma-wheel on das toof!

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