EWolfe Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 YOU ARE HOW YOU PISS TRAD CLIMBER: Belchs, farts, picks nose, pisses on floor, bitches about smelly urinal, stalks away. SPORT CLIMBER: Chalks up, pulls cock out, backs away, puts cock away, rechalks, breathes deep, checks cock, rechalks, reapproaches, goes for it, pisses down leg, blames belayer and poor conditions. ICE CLIMBER: Knows it's too cold outside to piss, slams finger with ice hammer so he'll forget the pain in his bladder. MOUNTAIN CLIMBER: Pulls out wanker in blizzard, piss freezes to leg, weiner gets frostbitten, head has to be amputated but not until after drunken brawl in Kathmandu and waiting 4 days for flight back to Anchorage. GYM CLIMBER: Poses too long, pisses down pants, has daddy buy new lycra. EXTREME GAMES CLIMBER: Slams a Dew, jumps off mountain, cuts bunjee cord, pulls parachute, pisses up belly cause it gives him an adrenaline rush. OLD FART CLIMBER: Can't remember if he pissed or not, pisses down leg. DRUNK BRITISH CLIMBER: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants. DRUNK YANK CLIMBER: Asks others to stop urinal from spinning, pisses down leg. ECO-CONSCIOUS CLIMBER: Filters out salts and contaminants, drinks filtrate. SENSTIVE NEW AGE CLIMBER: Warns urinal it is about to be pissed on. KENTUCKY CLIMBER: Rants about how much harder it is to piss in Kentucky than it is out west, pisses in shoe. HOMOPHOBE CLIMBER: Can't piss - thinks the guy two stalls down is eyeing him. GENERATION X CLIMBER: Refuses to piss as silent protest, blows bladder, dies. GENERATION X CLIMBER #2: Pisses down leg, attributes it to bad home life. AUSSIE CLIMBER: Drinks another brew, bitches that the yanks are pissing upside down, pisses up nose. REC.CLIMBERS: Sit at computers even though they have to piss real bad, lose control, piss on power strip, die of electrocution. --Borrowed from rec.climbers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Slugg Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 GUNKS CLIMBER Refuses to leave tavern booth without belay, attemps to place stopper in waitress cleavage, pees in sink, returns to table insisting crux move done without aid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Spray Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EWolfe Posted June 1, 2007 Author Share Posted June 1, 2007 Now that you have posted something unrelated to climbing or the thread, it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macson Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 REI pinnacle climber: has only pissed indoors, but keeps giving advice about pissing outside with the lightest equipment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archenemy Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Girl Climber: gripes about how much easier it is for a guy to piss and then pisses down his leg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 This list is so 1996 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt_Alford Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 (edited) Mountaineer: Can't quite get through the layers of polypro and shorts in time. Pisses in pants. Edited June 1, 2007 by Matt_Alford Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MATT_B Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Bouldering: Sit start, two moves up the urinal and spray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 GRID BOLTING EXIT 38 ROUTE DEVELOPER: Insists that the hole in his penis is not deep enough. Runs battery down in his Bosch making the hole deeper. Dies in his own piss and blood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TREETOAD Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Everest climber has someone else take penis out and hold it. Pisses into American standard toilet carried on back of someone else. Penis is wiped off and replaced into pants by first porter. Climber then blogs about the experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Everest climber has someone else take penis out and hold it. Pisses into American standard toilet carried on back of someone else. Penis is wiped off and replaced into pants by first porter. Climber then blogs about the experience... ...and posts youtube video as evidence it actually happened. SPEED CLIMBER: Snaps photo of watch with penis in hand in background, next photo shows the golden shower, last photo shows watch with penis securely tucked away with white dog in background. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Now that you have posted something unrelated to climbing or the thread, it is. This thread is good and funny, but still spray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Girl Climber: gripes about how much easier it is for a guy to piss and then pisses down his leg. it must the the socialy challenged girl who pisses on her shoe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Girl Climber: gripes about how much easier it is for a guy to piss and then pisses down his leg. it must the the socialy challenged girl who pisses on her shoe How is any of this post not spray? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Girl Climber: gripes about how much easier it is for a guy to piss and then pisses down his leg. it must the the socialy challenged girl who pisses on her shoe How is any of this post not spray? you are like the little brother who thinks that nothing is ever fair arn't you??? quit being a tattle tail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Girl Climber: gripes about how much easier it is for a guy to piss and then pisses down his leg. it must the the socialy challenged girl who pisses on her shoe How is any of this post not spray? you are like the little brother who thinks that nothing is ever fair arn't you??? quit being a tattle tail Whatever.....just keep spray in spray. It is a easy idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 KEVBONE: What's a penis? I have this gash between my legs that I use to pee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Girl Climber: gripes about how much easier it is for a guy to piss and then pisses down his leg. it must the the socialy challenged girl who pisses on her shoe How is any of this post not spray? you are like the little brother who thinks that nothing is ever fair arn't you??? quit being a tattle tail Whatever.....just keep spray in spray. It is a easy idea. if it needs to be moved the powers at be will move it don't worry about it sweety. we have people to take care of that for us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TREETOAD Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Me too, it just appeared one day, it looks like a bear with it's head torn off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cj001f Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Messageboard climber: Takes 25 pictures of him pissing to post online - brags about it being the hardest piss he's ever taken. Messageboard lurker who may climb: Says TR from messageboard climber features the smallest penis he's ever seen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherri Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Me too, it just appeared one day, it looks like a bear with it's head torn off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Smarter than your average bear?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenderfour Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Aid Climber: Embarrasses others as he takes an hour to shit in the urinal. Doesn't wipe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 What about "Boulder Climber", to state teh obvious? Gotta be some fertile ground there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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