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Dechristo

Stabs at Musicians

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jokes about musicians; give 'em up.

 

What's the definition of "perfect pitch?

 

When someone throws an autoharp in a dumpster and hits a banjo

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How many beetles where there?

 

3 and a drummer!

 

I should be careful. I might offend a beetle loving administrator and get this whole thread axed.

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A shipwrecked mariner is washed up onto a desert island. He slowly wakes up and crawls up the beach. Suddenly, he hears the sound of insistent pounding of drums. Just then, an island native comes into sight. The mariner weakly asks him "What's that sound of drums I can hear ?" The native, very nervously says "The drums...when the drums stop...very bad." The mariner tries to ask "why ?" but the the native, very frightened runs away.

 

He crawls furthur up the beach...to the edge of the beach...and to the edge of the tropical forest and the drums are getting louder. His head is pounding but he sees another native. "Please, please tell me", he says, "what are these drums ?" This native, even more nervous than the first, says "When the drums stop.......very, very, bad" and runs away.

 

Finally, the mariner makes it into the forest and into a clearing. The drums are deafening. He staggers up to a huge grass hut and inside is the chief, a huge fat man with his fingers in his ears. He asks again "Please, please, someone tell me what is it with these drums ?" The chief unblocks his ears and says with a very sad face "When the drums stop, very, very, very bad."

"Yes I know", says the shipwrecked mariner. "But why?"

 

The chief looks sadly up at him and says ...."Bass solo."

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A shipwrecked mariner is washed up onto a desert island. He slowly wakes up and crawls up the beach. Suddenly, he hears the sound of insistent pounding of drums. Just then, an island native comes into sight. The mariner weakly asks him "What's that sound of drums I can hear ?" The native, very nervously says "The drums...when the drums stop...very bad." The mariner tries to ask "why ?" but the the native, very frightened runs away.

 

He crawls furthur up the beach...to the edge of the beach...and to the edge of the tropical forest and the drums are getting louder. His head is pounding but he sees another native. "Please, please tell me", he says, "what are these drums ?" This native, even more nervous than the first, says "When the drums stop.......very, very, bad" and runs away.

 

Finally, the mariner makes it into the forest and into a clearing. The drums are deafening. He staggers up to a huge grass hut and inside is the chief, a huge fat man with his fingers in his ears. He asks again "Please, please, someone tell me what is it with these drums ?" The chief unblocks his ears and says with a very sad face "When the drums stop, very, very, very bad."

"Yes I know", says the shipwrecked mariner. "But why?"

 

The chief looks sadly up at him and says ...."Bass solo."

 

most influential bassist?

 

rSBUFru_YT4

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Claypool is very influential currently

 

 

 

 

[font:Fixedsys]Why was the bass-player loitering on the porch?

 

 

 

because they never know when to come in. [/font]

Edited by Dechristo

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[font:Fixedsys]Why do drummers keep their sticks on the dashboard of their cars?

 

 

 

 

so they can use Handicap Parking [/font]

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A guest conductor was rehearsing the All-State band. There was one passage that the snare drummer just couldn't get right. Finally the conductor slammed down his baton and shouted out in exasperation. "Why is it that when a student can't play any other instrument, the teacher gives him two sticks and makes him a drummer?"

 

To which, without missing a beat, the drummer shot back, "and why is it that if he still can't do it right, they take away one stick and make him a conductor?" :rolleyes:

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jokes about musicians; give 'em up.

 

What's the definition of "perfect pitch?

 

When someone throws an autoharp in a dumpster and hits a banjo

 

:anger:

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Damn, it's hard to say who the most influential is, there are so many greats: Ray Brown, Ron Carter, Stanley Clark, Jaco Pastorius... The list goes on and on.

 

Q: What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

 

A: The viola burns longer.

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jokes about musicians; give 'em up.

 

What's the definition of "perfect pitch?

 

When someone throws an autoharp in a dumpster and hits a banjo

 

:anger:

 

 

BWAHAHAHAha...ha...ha...henhhh...hyennnnhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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How many beetles where there?

 

3 and a drummer!

 

I should be careful. I might offend a beetle loving administrator and get this whole thread axed.

 

 

 

Who the fuck are the "beetles" where?

 

Paraphrasing Walter Huston in Treasure of the Sierra Madre, "yer dumber than the dumbest jackass".

 

 

you may have musician material in you

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