Dechristo Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 jokes about musicians; give 'em up. What's the definition of "perfect pitch? When someone throws an autoharp in a dumpster and hits a banjo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 How many beetles where there? 3 and a drummer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 How many beetles where there? 3 and a drummer! I should be careful. I might offend a beetle loving administrator and get this whole thread axed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenSeagal Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 Q:What do you call a guy who plays the skin flute? A: kevbone sickie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonanon Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 A shipwrecked mariner is washed up onto a desert island. He slowly wakes up and crawls up the beach. Suddenly, he hears the sound of insistent pounding of drums. Just then, an island native comes into sight. The mariner weakly asks him "What's that sound of drums I can hear ?" The native, very nervously says "The drums...when the drums stop...very bad." The mariner tries to ask "why ?" but the the native, very frightened runs away. He crawls furthur up the beach...to the edge of the beach...and to the edge of the tropical forest and the drums are getting louder. His head is pounding but he sees another native. "Please, please tell me", he says, "what are these drums ?" This native, even more nervous than the first, says "When the drums stop.......very, very, bad" and runs away. Finally, the mariner makes it into the forest and into a clearing. The drums are deafening. He staggers up to a huge grass hut and inside is the chief, a huge fat man with his fingers in his ears. He asks again "Please, please, someone tell me what is it with these drums ?" The chief unblocks his ears and says with a very sad face "When the drums stop, very, very, very bad." "Yes I know", says the shipwrecked mariner. "But why?" The chief looks sadly up at him and says ...."Bass solo." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lI1|1! Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 A shipwrecked mariner is washed up onto a desert island. He slowly wakes up and crawls up the beach. Suddenly, he hears the sound of insistent pounding of drums. Just then, an island native comes into sight. The mariner weakly asks him "What's that sound of drums I can hear ?" The native, very nervously says "The drums...when the drums stop...very bad." The mariner tries to ask "why ?" but the the native, very frightened runs away. He crawls furthur up the beach...to the edge of the beach...and to the edge of the tropical forest and the drums are getting louder. His head is pounding but he sees another native. "Please, please tell me", he says, "what are these drums ?" This native, even more nervous than the first, says "When the drums stop.......very, very, bad" and runs away. Finally, the mariner makes it into the forest and into a clearing. The drums are deafening. He staggers up to a huge grass hut and inside is the chief, a huge fat man with his fingers in his ears. He asks again "Please, please, someone tell me what is it with these drums ?" The chief unblocks his ears and says with a very sad face "When the drums stop, very, very, very bad." "Yes I know", says the shipwrecked mariner. "But why?" The chief looks sadly up at him and says ...."Bass solo." most influential bassist? rSBUFru_YT4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted November 29, 2006 Author Share Posted November 29, 2006 (edited) Claypool is very influential currently [font:Fixedsys]Why was the bass-player loitering on the porch? because they never know when to come in. [/font] Edited November 29, 2006 by Dechristo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonanon Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 Q: Whadaya call an accordianist with a cellphone, pager and a daytimer? A: An optimist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 Q: how do you get a drummer off your porch? A: pay for the pizza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted November 29, 2006 Author Share Posted November 29, 2006 [font:Fixedsys]Why do drummers keep their sticks on the dashboard of their cars? so they can use Handicap Parking [/font] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mountainmatt Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 most influential bassist? Victor Wooten, hands down. [gvideo]-6125348242232514802&q=victor+wooten&hl=en[/gvideo] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonanon Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 Q: How do you get a guitar player to stop? A: Put sheet music in front of him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A drummer How can you tell if the stage is level? The drummer drools out both sides of his mouth evenly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maestro Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 A guest conductor was rehearsing the All-State band. There was one passage that the snare drummer just couldn't get right. Finally the conductor slammed down his baton and shouted out in exasperation. "Why is it that when a student can't play any other instrument, the teacher gives him two sticks and makes him a drummer?" To which, without missing a beat, the drummer shot back, "and why is it that if he still can't do it right, they take away one stick and make him a conductor?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pink Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 now that's funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr._Natural Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 jokes about musicians; give 'em up. What's the definition of "perfect pitch? When someone throws an autoharp in a dumpster and hits a banjo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quicker_than_ewe Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 How can you tell if a drummer is knocking at your door? The knocks keep getting farther and farther apart... . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Most influential bassist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Damn, it's hard to say who the most influential is, there are so many greats: Ray Brown, Ron Carter, Stanley Clark, Jaco Pastorius... The list goes on and on. Q: What's the difference between a violin and a viola? A: The viola burns longer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prole Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 "A gentleman is a man who knows how to play the banjo, and doesn't." -- Mark Twain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strumpett Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 You must be a musician Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted November 30, 2006 Author Share Posted November 30, 2006 jokes about musicians; give 'em up. What's the definition of "perfect pitch? When someone throws an autoharp in a dumpster and hits a banjo BWAHAHAHAha...ha...ha...henhhh...hyennnnhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted November 30, 2006 Author Share Posted November 30, 2006 How many beetles where there? 3 and a drummer! I should be careful. I might offend a beetle loving administrator and get this whole thread axed. Who the fuck are the "beetles" where? Paraphrasing Walter Huston in Treasure of the Sierra Madre, "yer dumber than the dumbest jackass". you may have musician material in you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 I think that the knucklehead meant "Beatles". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Phil Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Definitive list of Most Influential Stabs at Musicians (and drummers). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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