tivoli_mike Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Total posts to date: 3,302,056 Total threads to date: 260,391 Total Registrations: 19,074 Rapture Ready BB Have fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dan_forester Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 wow, a shofar graemlin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtyHarry Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Hmmm, should I join the "End Times Chat" or how 'bout the "Women's Corner" where I can learn all about hand held vacuums and bread baking techniques. God doesn't like women to get out of the house and work, now does he. There's also the "We must pray for the president" thread that looks enticing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 do they have a telemark forum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dan_forester Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 no, but you might find someone to belay with in the "guy's forum" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 I belayed 11b the other day. sick! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtyHarry Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Do you belay for Jesus? Post a TR in the Christian Chat forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cj001f Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 I wonder if Jamie Pierre posts there asking for huck tips? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dan_forester Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 It's belay4Christ, c'mon now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat_Roslyn Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Oly, You accomplished that because we were all praying for you! By the way, how many bible verses can you reciete? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 i have memorized the bible, especially about the parts where "person X knew person Y". You know, the juicy parts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekend_Climberz Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Welcome to our newest member, Nymphalidae Nympho's are cool! Come on guys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Christianity is probably the only religion that makes people feel obligated to go out and try to recruit other Christians. It's sort of like a cult when you think about it. They call it "witnessing" or "ministering" or something like that. Who the hell knows? Whatever the reason for this blind faith; Whatever it is that drives them to put up with an asshole like Mike Williams, it sure makes for a funny conversation. We went to a Christain chat room and started talking about our problems. It was like throwing a bucket of chum into a pirannah tank. As soon as we started we had 3 guys latch on to us to try to win us over to the Lord. One of them now wished he hadn't bothered. MikeWilliams: hello Jeezus_FreeK: hi Jeezus_FreeK: how are you? MikeWilliams: Do you believe in god? Jeezus_FreeK: I believe in God MikeWilliams: I'm not sure I do anymore Jeezus_FreeK: why's taht? Jeezus_FreeK: that* MikeWilliams: My cat got hit by the neighboor's car. Jeezus_FreeK: I'm sorry to hear that MikeWilliams: Yeah Jeezus_FreeK: you no longer believe in God because your cat was hit? MikeWilliams: Yeah Jeezus_FreeK: so it was a bad thing, and why would God let a bad thing happen? MikeWilliams: Yes. Jeezus_FreeK: there are a few reasons MikeWilliams: Like? Jeezus_FreeK: Maybe it's just part of a bigger plan, something you don't know about yet Jeezus_FreeK: (such a small thing can be the entrance to something larger) Jeezus_FreeK: maybe to teach you perserverance, dependence on God MikeWilliams: The neighboor was an Atheist. MikeWilliams: Why did god ignore him, and let him take my Fluffy? Jeezus_FreeK: God didn't ignore him, and God certainly didn't kill your cat Jeezus_FreeK: he just allowed it to happen for a reason that you can't see yet MikeWilliams: How about my house burning down? Jeezus_FreeK: question, Do you know who Jesus Christ is? MikeWilliams: God's brother? Jeezus_FreeK: no, not at all MikeWilliams: Who then? MikeWilliams: Help me understand. Jeezus_FreeK: Jesus Christ is the only son of God, he was sent to earth to die on the cross for the sins of the world (for all the bad things people do) he did die on the cross, however, he rose again 3 days later and a while after that went back to heaven to prepare a place for all those who believe that he died and rose again and trust in him, thus comes the title "Christian" MikeWilliams: But you didn't answer my second question. Jeezus_FreeK: your house burning down? MikeWilliams: Why did god let my house burn down? Jeezus_FreeK: maybe to bring you to the point at which you know you need him to help you through all the troubles you might have Jeezus_FreeK: because God said "Cast your burdens on me and I will carry them for you" its an awesome thing, this hope that you can have, it's a security that you know in the end you will win and that the things of this world won't matter because you'll be in heaven MikeWilliams: I know god did it. MikeWilliams: Lightning hit our house. MikeWilliams: While we were in church. Jeezus_FreeK: what church do you go to? MikeWilliams: Maybe the devil did it, because we went to church. Jeezus_FreeK: there's always the fact that things will happen because they happen and it can't be prevented, i mean, the lightning hitting your house could have happened to anything else, but it just ended up happening at your house, not just coincidence, but so that you could learn something, maybe look for the truth through your doubts, find out the truth MikeWilliams: Ok, so my cat and my house were coincidences. MikeWilliams: What about my grandma? Jeezus_FreeK: no, i just said, it wasn't coincidence! Jeezus_FreeK: I said, God didn't do it, he allowed it to happen, but for a reason that you might not see right now Jeezus_FreeK: what about your grandma? MikeWilliams: A man killed her. Jeezus_FreeK: sin MikeWilliams: He put a plastic bag over her head. MikeWilliams: I walked in three days later, and found her dead. Jeezus_FreeK: God created man in his perfect image, but man disobeyed which separated him from God, from the point sin entered the world. The man did it for his own desires, be it money, or just to murder someone, but like I said, its the sin that was brought into this world, but there is a way out of that sin, that's where Jesus comes in, he is the perfect lamb, the one and only Son of God that was sent to free humans from the sin that have shackled our feet, we can have victory over sin!! Jeezus_FreeK: (with God's help) but you need to receive the gift of salvation (freedom from sin) MikeWilliams: Why did god let him kill her? Jeezus_FreeK: God didn't let him, his own sinful nature (what humans have that they can't avoid) did MikeWilliams: So god just sits and watched as my cat was killed, my house burned down, my grandma was killed, and my dad got his leg run over by a Fed-Ex truck? Jeezus_FreeK: he didn't watch, he cried, if you hurt, he cried for you and he cries for your soul if it doesn't belong to him.....he loves you more then you could imagine and these things may have happened to help you realize that MikeWilliams: So he caused these bad things to make me love him? Jeezus_FreeK: he DIDN'T cause them! he allowed them to happen, just a few bumps in the road of life, to make you realize that he's there with arms wide open waiting for you to give him your burden and accept him into your life as Lord and Saviour MikeWilliams: My mom died giving birth to me, and my dad will never walk again. These are just bumps on the road? Jeezus_FreeK: God's telling you to look to him for strength to get through it all MikeWilliams: I could get through regular life with a regular mom and dad easier MikeWilliams: maybe he could have given me a happy life, and i'd have turned to him in thanks Jeezus_FreeK: look at a wider spectrum here, everything that happens in life is like God screaming out to you to come to him, some choose to accept it others could care less, but one day you'll be put on judgment and asked why God should let you into heaven and what are you to answer? MikeWilliams: Because I deserve it after the crap life you gave me. Jeezus_FreeK: He's given you a gift MikeWilliams: Of pain? Jeezus_FreeK: its your decision to chose it or to throw it away Jeezus_FreeK: NO!, of salvation Jeezus_FreeK: and joy in trials Jeezus_FreeK: the ability to know that eventually you will win MikeWilliams: I just want the hurting to stop. Can you pray for that? Jeezus_FreeK: turn to Jesus and the things might just fade away and God will bless you MikeWilliams: Also pray that my HIV won't turn into full-blown aids. Jeezus_FreeK: why do you have HIV? MikeWilliams: My mom had it. MikeWilliams: She gave it to us all. MikeWilliams: My dad, me, and my brother, who is dying of it. Jeezus_FreeK: oh Jeezus_FreeK: what's my excuse of why you have that? MikeWilliams: I think god hates me. Jeezus_FreeK: NO!!! don't you see? or are you blind!? Jeezus_FreeK: He sent his ONE AND ONLY Son to the earth to DIE for you Jeezus_FreeK: he suffered on the cross (a Roman execution) and he did nothing but love, and one day, all those who have put faith in him will vanish off the face of this earth and 7 years will follow for those who missed it the first time to receive His gift, but those 7 years will be full of much worse things then you are going through now MikeWilliams: How could it get any worse? MikeWilliams: Hello? MikeWilliams: You have to think about that one. Jeezus_FreeK: no, I am typing it out Jeezus_FreeK: ok, all those who put there faith in Jesus (which I suggest you do because it makes things different) dissapear, there goes a major part of the population (i mean, they disapear from whereever they just were, driving, running, anything) after that come what are called the scroll judgments, first a guy rises to power in peace and then brings war on the earth, then come more death and plagues, then a huge worldwide earthquake, eventually only 1/4 of the remaining population will be left on earth MikeWilliams: Sounds better to me. Jeezus_FreeK: Plus, if you haven't placed your faith in Jesus then if you were to die any moment then you'd go to Hell, a place of constant un-ending torture, thats much worse then anything you've ever felt, you dont want to be there Jeezus_FreeK: take what your going through and multiply it by a million and thats what Hell will be like MikeWilliams: If god loved me, why would he send me to Hell? MikeWilliams: What if I'm in hell now? Jeezus_FreeK: NOOO! your on earth. Arent you listening Jeezus_FreeK: you see, GOD DOES LOVE YOU!! Jeezus_FreeK: thats why he sent his only son to die MikeWilliams: Maybe it's not god messing with me, but the devil. Jeezus_FreeK: there you go MikeWilliams: so should I start talking with the devil? Maybe he could stop messing with me. Jeezus_FreeK: NO HE WILL NOT!! he'll just send his demons to torment you more Jeezus_FreeK: start talking to God Jeezus_FreeK: and asking him for relief MikeWilliams: but god's not doing it, you said. MikeWilliams: he's just watching and crying MikeWilliams: maybe that's all god can do. MikeWilliams: maybe only the devil can do stuff on earth. Jeezus_FreeK: crying because your hurting and he's hurting FOR YOU Jeezus_FreeK: your not looking for truth, your running in endless circles, I've tried to explain God's love to you and his gift to be free from sin, but you continue to not listen, if you truly sought an answer and wanted relief, then you would have wholeheartedly heeded what I have been speaking about MikeWilliams: I'm trying to understand MikeWilliams: but this is all so new Jeezus_FreeK: you said you've been to church Jeezus_FreeK: did you learn anything there? MikeWilliams: Only that church keeps you away from house fires. Jeezus_FreeK: have you ever read a Bible? MikeWilliams: I learned that God sent his brother Jesus to fight the devil MikeWilliams: that's what I mostly remember Jeezus_FreeK: JESUS IS NOT GODS BROTHER!! Jeezus_FreeK: I HAVE TOLD YOU IT IS HIS ONLY SON MikeWilliams: I saw this thing on the news on CNN where they found his brother in a box Jeezus_FreeK: whos brother MikeWilliams: jesus MikeWilliams: there was this box and it had 'here lies James, Jesuses brother' Jeezus_FreeK: Jesus DID NOT have a brother he was Gods only son who came and gave his life to wash away all of your sins and if you choose to accept him into your heart you will not go to hell (place of neverending torture) but to heaven (with the lord forever) Jeezus_FreeK: what have you learned from me? MikeWilliams: that god sits, watches me, and cries. MikeWilliams: and that the devil is screwing up my life Jeezus_FreeK: ok, Jeezus_FreeK: listen to me. Jeezus_FreeK: I will say this once more Jeezus_FreeK: God DOESNT alway cry and he JUST DOESNT SIT AROUND AND WATCH YOU Jeezus_FreeK: he's reaching out to you and wants you to come to him MikeWilliams: Like my dad on the couch? MikeWilliams: He sits, cries and wants me to get him a beer MikeWilliams: he can't get it himself. MikeWilliams: His femur is broken. MikeWilliams: He can't ever walk again Jeezus_FreeK: God doesn't have self-pity, Jeezus_FreeK: he's weeping when your sad and hurt because you won't give it to him, Jeezus_FreeK: if you would then you'd feel better, and he'd carry it for you Jeezus_FreeK: what about his other leg? Jeezus_FreeK: breaking a leg doesn't mean your paralyzed Jeezus_FreeK: it heals MikeWilliams: the truck pinched his spinal neve thing MikeWilliams: he can't move his legs MikeWilliams: only feel them Jeezus_FreeK: it would have needed to run over his back then MikeWilliams: I think he's alcoholic MikeWilliams: he's had 6 beer bottles tonight. MikeWilliams: should i get him another? MikeWilliams: All i know is that the doctor said he won't ever walk again. Jeezus_FreeK: oh MikeWilliams: I'm only 11 MikeWilliams: I don't pay that much attention. Jeezus_FreeK: ooo, I thought I was talking to someone older then that MikeWilliams: why? MikeWilliams: how old are you? Jeezus_FreeK: 37 Jeezus_FreeK: you don't talk like your a kid MikeWilliams: I've had to grow up. Jeezus_FreeK: yeah MikeWilliams: I'm the only one in the family with a job Jeezus_FreeK: what do you do? MikeWilliams: I work in a farmer field 14 hours a day Jeezus_FreeK: where are you from? MikeWilliams: Arizona MikeWilliams: its hard because nothing grows here because its so dry Jeezus_FreeK: i'm sorry, i find that hard to believe, labor laws MikeWilliams: It's probably not legal MikeWilliams: but I'm the only able-bodied kid MikeWilliams: able-bodied person in my house Jeezus_FreeK: you couldn't afford a computer with the internet to MikeWilliams: library MikeWilliams: thansk for a good talk MikeWilliams: i think i understand more now than before. MikeWilliams: we need to go to the hospital to visit my brother. Wish us luck. Jeezus_FreeK: ok Jeezus_FreeK: get a Bible MikeWilliams: I hope he's gotten better Jeezus_FreeK: read John Jeezus_FreeK: (in the Bible) MikeWilliams: and that the lump isn't cancer MikeWilliams: ok MikeWilliams: thank you MikeWilliams: goodnight Jeezus_FreeK: you'll get more out of it Jeezus_FreeK: good night MikeWilliams: by the way MikeWilliams: i'm homosexual MikeWilliams: is that wrong? Jeezus_FreeK: yup MikeWilliams: why? Jeezus_FreeK: and I know your not at a library, they don't stay open until 3 in the morning Jeezus_FreeK: God made one man for one woman Jeezus_FreeK: not man for man MikeWilliams: but i can have sex without spreading aids that way right? Jeezus_FreeK: thats why it is impossible for two guys to have kids because that is not how God made it MikeWilliams: well MikeWilliams: at least i don't do drugs MikeWilliams: My Ahteist neighboor offered me some crack MikeWilliams: in exchange for killing my cat MikeWilliams: should I take it? MikeWilliams: I like to look at my Dad's porno movies MikeWilliams: Is that wrong? MikeWilliams: it makes my pants feel tight MikeWilliams: but not too tight because im only 11 MikeWilliams: hello? MikeWilliams: did you disappear for 7 years MikeWilliams: is God's brother back? Jeezus_FreeK: <<user has logged out>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mountainmatt Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 how many bible verses can you reciete? "jeebus wept" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Lebowski Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 I'll take your word for it, I lost interest at line 25 or so... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 The bums lost, Lebowski. The bums lost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Lebowski Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 In my world, the bums win Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Ya, and we stomp on it, and squoosh it, Lebowski. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 you two! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 And give Walter his undies back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cj001f Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 you two! Do your happy dance oly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Lebowski Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 you two! Those were the salad days, Man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 wow, i really just can't pass up a chance to quote from The Giod Film: "what, you didn't think i was gonna be rolling out of here with my johnson in my hand, didya? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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