to the hangdogger on Crossfire

[Gary_Yngve]

your sissy sporto ass doesn't know how to climb crack!

 

you were liebacking, faceclimbing, etc., your way up Karate Crack, occasionally trying to jam and discovering you don't know how to do it. And no, it doesn't tear your hands up if you're tough and have good technique -- but then again, you're a sporto slipper-wearing sissy!

 

btw - you sound like you're giving birth when you're lunging for the next hold.

 

[willstrickland]

At least he wasn't bivying on top of Cin slab.

[G-spotter]

Or getting lost on Super Slab wearing blue windpants.

[olyclimber]

your sissy sporto ass doesn't know how to climb crack!

 

you were liebacking, faceclimbing, etc., your way up Karate Crack, occasionally trying to jam and discovering you don't know how to do it. And no, it doesn't tear your hands up if you're tough and have good technique -- but then again, you're a sporto slipper-wearing sissy!

 

btw - you sound like you're giving birth when you're lunging for the next hold.

 

 

Sorry, that was me. I actually did give birth. And ya, I don't know how to climb, but I'm not letting that stop me. Its my dream to someday wear off this Sporto tag and ascend to Tradmaster.

 

....WAIT a minute..... GARY!!! Its you? This isn't your style!

[EWolfe]

your sissy sporto ass doesn't know how to climb crack!

 

you were liebacking, faceclimbing, etc., your way up Karate Crack, occasionally trying to jam and discovering you don't know how to do it. And no, it doesn't tear your hands up if you're tough and have good technique -- but then again, you're a sporto slipper-wearing sissy!

 

btw - you sound like you're giving birth when you're lunging for the next hold.

 

 

I hope that belittling better climbers appeases your large brain, Owl.

[billcoe]

 

I hope that belittling better climbers appeases your large brain, Owl.

 

Wow, or anybody. Least they're going for it.

 

Gary, if we ever do get out together. I suck....suck big.. and I know it. I'm old fat and slow.

 

But I don't want to hear about it. I want encouragement like Nolse, Joseph, Larry, Ivan PDK and a most everybody gives.

 

Climbing for me, about working hard, learning and having fun. Hows the dude gonna learn how to hand jam Karate crack if he never does it?

 

Tuck that info away for future reference. I suck, but don't remind me. It would be like pissing on my fun-O-meter.

[DirtyHarry]

And they probably didn't even have to bivy on the way down!

[DirtyHarry]

but then again, you're a sporto slipper-wearing sissy!

 

 

Slippers! The horror!!!

[G-spotter]

The Colony Of Slippermen Lyrics

 

The Arrival.

 

Rael:

I wandered lonely as a cloud,

Till I came upon this dirty street.

I've never seen a stranger crowd;

Slubberdegullions on squeaky feet,

 

Continually pacing,

With nonchalant embracing,

Each orifice disgracing

And one facing me moves to say "hellay".

 

Your skin's all covered in slimy lumps.

With lips that slide across each chin.

His twisted limbs like rubber stumps

Are waved in welcome say "Please join in:"

 

My grip must be flipping,

Cos his handshake keeps slipping,

My hopes keep on dipping

And his lips keep on smiling all the time.

 

Slipperman:

"We, like you, have tasted love.

Don't be alarmed at what you see,

You yourself are just the same

As what you see in me."

 

Rael:

Me, like you? Like that!

 

Slipperman:

"You better watch it son, your sentence has only just begun

You better run and join your brother John:'

 

A Visit to the Doktor.

 

Slipperman:

"You're in the colony of slippermen.

There's no who? why? what? or when?

You can get out if you've got the gripe To see, Doktor Dyper, reformed sniper- he'll whip off your windscreenwiper

 

Rael:

John and I are able

To face the Doktor and his marble table.

 

The Doktor:

Understand Rael, that's the end of your tail.

 

Rael:

"Don't delay, dock the dick!"

I watch his countdown timer tick . . .

 

The Raven.

 

He places the number into a tube,

It's a yellow plastic shoobedoobe.

It says: "Though your fingers may tickle

You'll be safe in our pickle."

Suddenly, black cloud come down from the sky.

Its a supersized black bird that sure can fly.

 

The raven brings on darkness and night

He flies right down, gives me one hell of a fright.

He takes the tube right out of my hands

Man, I've got to find where that black bird lands.

 

"Look here John, I've got to run

I need you now, you're going to come?"

 

He says to me:

 

John:

"Now can't you see

Where the raven flies there's jeopardy?

We've been cured on the couch

Now you're sick with your grouch.

I'll not risk my honey pouch

Which my slouch will wear slung very low."

 

Rael:

He walks away and leaves me once again.

Even though I never learn,

I'd hoped he'd show just some concern.

 

I'm in the agony of Slipperpain

I pray my undercarriage will sustain.

 

The chase is on, the pace is hot

But I'm running so very hard with everything that I've got.

He leads me down an underpass

Though it narrows, he still flies very fast.

When the tunnel stops

Catch sight of the tube, just as it drops.

I'm on top of a bank too steep to climb

I see it hit the water just in time

to watch it float away, watch it float away, watch it float away . . .

[John Frieh]

 

I hope that belittling better climbers appeases your large brain, Owl.

 

Wow, or anybody. Least they're going for it.

 

Gary, if we ever do get out together. I suck....suck big.. and I know it. I'm old fat and slow.

 

But I don't want to hear about it. I want encouragement like Nolse, Joseph, Larry, Ivan PDK and a most everybody gives.

 

Climbing for me, about working hard, learning and having fun. Hows the dude gonna learn how to hand jam Karate crack if he never does it?

 

Tuck that info away for future reference. I suck, but don't remind me. It would be like pissing on my fun-O-meter.

 

The best part is Bill climbed cracks years ago in high top EBs w/ passive gear that 98% of cc.com turds would be lucky to snag a TR on.

 

But the Bill sets an excellent example here...

 

He doesn't routes for grades, style points, neutrinos, and you will never hear him hassle others... he just climbs because he loves it.

 

Why do you climb Gary?

[billcoe]

Dru, "Colony of Slippermen" is a route somewhere (Yos? Touleme?).

 

Pretty sure I've done it but the details are vague.

 

Whats it mean?

[G-spotter]

The route is named after the song Bill.

[Peter_Puget]

Isn't Colony on the South side of the Valley to the right (west) of the Vortex? A Cantwell route.

 

Where were you in '74?

[olyclimber]

I was here in 74:

 

[G-spotter]

Time until the Rooster posts... 3... 2... 1...

[Peter_Puget]

Not here?

[G-spotter]

I don't think there were broken jpegs in 1974, Peter.

[Gary_Yngve]

Sheesh, most of you aren't getting the humor of the original post.

 

1) Olyclimber recognized that indeed, this is not my style.

2) I have mad respect for said climber being capable of 5.12 sport. That only made it funnier that he couldn't jam 5.9 crack.

[olyclimber]

i though Karate was 5.10. details, details!

[Gary_Yngve]

I think the exit makes it 10a. The crack proper feels 5.9.

[Gary_Yngve]

But I don't want to hear about it. I want encouragement like Nolse, Joseph, Larry, Ivan PDK and a most everybody gives.

 

I'm a patient, supportive, and encouraging partner. Most anyone who's climbed with me would agree.

 

Climbing for me, about working hard, learning and having fun. Hows the dude gonna learn how to hand jam Karate crack if he never does it?

 

As a 5.12 sport climber, he should be able to take some ribbing about his poor crack style. Heck, as far as I know, maybe it might psych him up for the rest of the route.

[Off_White]

I suck, but don't remind me.

 

Hah, brilliant words to live by, I resemble that remark. An excellent signature line too I might add.

[G-spotter]

I'm a patient, supportive, and encouraging partner. Most anyone who's climbed with me would agree.

 

 

"It's OK, sure we're lost, so what. We can just bivi here 10 meters off the ground on Red Wall. It's not your fault!"

[billcoe]

Sheesh, most of you aren't getting the humor of the original post.

 

I get it now. Sorry Gary, see, when I said I'm slow I wasn't talking climbing. I'm a bit thick, apologies extended. I really thought you were slamming some poor bastard you didn't know.

 

 

BTW, does now indicate humorous intent? I thought that was like

 

or

 

or ? Hmmm...........

 

 

Well, I'm out of here:

 

 

[crazy_t]

I'm with this Bill guy. You figure a night out at a (generally) sport-climbing area due to your own error might foster some humility for someone else who was having a tough time. But then, I don't know you and what was going on and wasn't there, so can't really judge you, eh?