The perfect date climb

[Rad]

A 12 step program:

 

1 = Approach via tulips on a sunny day with no crowds (see photos below - sorry, left the camera in the car for 2-12.)

 

2 = Draw the topo and approach map on the back of a receipt from the Erie store because the guide is sold out (Apparently Dallas is planning to print another 500 copies in June or so, and this time the page numbers will appear in the route index).

 

3 = Eat a picnic lunch of PBnJ overlooking the lake behind the Erie store. Watch an osprey dive for fish while an immature eagle chases it to steal the fish.

 

4 = Hike up the trail to the base of ZigZag (5.7?, Snag wall) without getting lost.

 

5 = Climb the pro-eating open book to the first ledge.

 

6 = Avoid the so-called zigzag (left off the ledge, up, and back right to the P1 anchor) by climbing fun moves over a flexing flake straight up off the small ledge. It holds.

 

7 = Luxuriate at the monster bolt anchor while your date cruises the dihedral and flake with no problems removing gear. Enjoy the 180 degree views of lakes, Whidbey Island, the San Juans, and the Puget Sound. Bask in the sunshine together - not too hot, not too cold - while several eagles and hawks float right in front of you on a light breeze.

 

8 = Scamper up the second pitch with fun moves up the undulating wall. This pitch eats stoppers. Find two bomber nut placements in the last 15 feet of steep crack - good thing because you already placed all your cams down lower. Two harrier jets cruise by in formation, and a trick plane zips past the cliff face like a Blue Angels victory pass.

 

9 = Repeat step 7 while your date cruises P2. Elect to rap the route rather than get lost in the pricker bushes and cliffed out on the descent.

 

10 = Make good use of a private moment on a grassy ledge in the afternoon sunshine. Any locals with spotting scopes down there?

 

11 = Pick up ice cream bars at the Erie store for the drive home.

 

12 = Cruise to Seattle between 5 and 6pm with NO TRAFFIC!!! Pick the kids up at daycare less than five minutes late.

 

OK. My date was my wife. It still counts as a date, right?

 

Approach notes: Tulips, as noted. The trail to Zigzag, as drawn in the old mounties guidebook, is idiot-proof.

 

Gear notes: Standard rack was fine. Rapped with one 60m rope just fine down good anchors.

 

Tulips are at their peak now. See 'em soon!

 

 

[wfinley]

You call that the perfect date climb? Where's the fun, the action... the promise of shagging all night long???

 

Here's the prefect date climb in 20 easy steps:

 

Step 1: Wake up at 4 am... note that it is still dark out and elect to sleep for 1 1/2 hours longer against all better judgment. Take advantage of that 1 1/2 hours to snuggle and snore.

Step 2: Start out at 5:30 am freezing cold. Reach base of Koven couloir at 6:30 and start up. Explain that you don't need ropes because it's "4th class".

Step 3: Backtrack and flake out the rope to avoid a mutiny. It might be 4th class but that doesn't mean shit to the GF.

Step 4: Start up the upper Koven couloir in boots sans crampons. Explain that you don't need crampon's because it's "snow".

Step 5: Back track and put on crampons. In retrospect it's freaking cold and the snow is hard as a rock.

Step 6: Neglect to point out the rap stations to the GF on the way up because you figure you should be heading back down this couloir looong before dark.

Step 7: Wait patiently while the GF puts on full rain gear to ascend the "waterfall" pitch in the rock step above the Koven couloir. Pretend that you didn't get that wet and that things are alright even through you're in the shade and near hypothermic.

Step 8: Start up the upper portion of the Koven route sans rope because it's "4th class".

Step 9: Backtrack and rope up. Where's that feeling of deju vu coming from?

Step 10: Get off route, drag the GF up a squeeze chimney that is NOT 5.3.

Step 11: Downclimb.

Step 12: Summit at 4pm. Enjoy a conversion with some party from Portland who is doing the Grand Traverse. Pretend you don't hear their laughter when you say you plan to sleep in your tent down on the glacier tonight.

Step 13: Stand at the bottom of the 3rd rap and watch your GF drop her ATC.

Step 14: Stand at the top of Koven couloir and yell at your GF to find the rap anchors.

Step 15: Sheepishly shut your mouth when she tells you to STFU.

Step 16: Rap down the Koven couloir in the dark with one ATC. Dodge rockfall and try to tell your GF you're having fun.

Step 17: Make the call to rap at 1am. Settle in for a romantic night on ledge the size of buttcheeks.

Step 18: Get rudely woken up 15 minutes later to be told that a snow ledge needs to be chopped if you want her to remain happy.

Step 19: Snuggle for 4 hours and enjoy a beautiful sunrise together.

Step 20: Rap off in the early morning sunshine and waltz back to the tent at 7:30 am. Pretend you don't hear the 'yeah that was really romantic' snide comments.

[Blake]

 

 

8 = Scamper up the second pitch with fun moves up the undulating wall. This pitch eats stoppers. Find two bomber nut placements in the last 15 feet of steep crack - good thing because you already placed all your cams down lower. Two harrier jets cruise by in formation, and a trick plane zips past the cliff face like a Blue Angels victory pass.

 

Did you clip the trango stopper I got stuck near the top of pitch two? been there about a year now, and pretty welded-in as of February.

 

I've taken 2 girls on this exact same route, but was unable to convince my girlfriend to skip class and climb it. Contrary to my suggestions she sometimes studies while at school.

 

They both enjoyed it though, defintely a great afternoon out. Next time add on pitch 3 - Springboard variation.

 

Best way down is to rap once to the big tree, then once to the base. You need a 60m rope.

[plexus]

I was going to suggest Powerline Wall for the date climb. Afterwards watch the sunset from the madrone trees at the top. One of the best sunset spots in the world.

 

I do have to say that ZigZag is a pretty mellow place for a date climb.

[olyclimber]

You call that the perfect date climb? Where's the fun, the action... the promise of shagging all night long???

 

Here's the prefect date climb in 20 easy steps:

 

Step 1: Wake up at 4 am... note that it is still dark out and elect to sleep for 1 1/2 hours longer against all better judgment. Take advantage of that 1 1/2 hours to snuggle and snore.

Step 2: Start out at 5:30 am freezing cold. Reach base of Koven couloir at 6:30 and start up. Explain that you don't need ropes because it's "4th class".

Step 3: Backtrack and flake out the rope to avoid a mutiny. It might be 4th class but that doesn't mean shit to the GF.

Step 4: Start up the upper Koven couloir in boots sans crampons. Explain that you don't need crampon's because it's "snow".

Step 5: Back track and put on crampons. In retrospect it's freaking cold and the snow is hard as a rock.

Step 6: Neglect to point out the rap stations to the GF on the way up because you figure you should be heading back down this couloir looong before dark.

Step 7: Wait patiently while the GF puts on full rain gear to ascend the "waterfall" pitch in the rock step above the Koven couloir. Pretend that you didn't get that wet and that things are alright even through you're in the shade and near hypothermic.

Step 8: Start up the upper portion of the Koven route sans rope because it's "4th class".

Step 9: Backtrack and rope up. Where's that feeling of deju vu coming from?

Step 10: Get off route, drag the GF up a squeeze chimney that is NOT 5.3.

Step 11: Downclimb.

Step 12: Summit at 4pm. Enjoy a conversion with some party from Portland who is doing the Grand Traverse. Pretend you don't hear their laughter when you say you plan to sleep in your tent down on the glacier tonight.

Step 13: Stand at the bottom of the 3rd rap and watch your GF drop her ATC.

Step 14: Stand at the top of Koven couloir and yell at your GF to find the rap anchors.

Step 15: Sheepishly shut your mouth when she tells you to STFU.

Step 16: Rap down the Koven couloir in the dark with one ATC. Dodge rockfall and try to tell your GF you're having fun.

Step 17: Make the call to rap at 1am. Settle in for a romantic night on ledge the size of buttcheeks.

Step 18: Get rudely woken up 15 minutes later to be told that a snow ledge needs to be chopped if you want her to remain happy.

Step 19: Snuggle for 4 hours and enjoy a beautiful sunrise together.

Step 20: Rap off in the early morning sunshine and waltz back to the tent at 7:30 am. Pretend you don't hear the 'yeah that was really romantic' snide comments.

[Off_White]

Yep, dates with your wife count, maybe double. Too many guys stop dating their wives.

[chelle]

You are a wise one OW.

[Rad]

Did you clip the trango stopper I got stuck near the top of pitch two? been there about a year now, and pretty welded-in as of February.

 

Didn't see any fixed gear. Someone must've snagged it.

 

I've taken 2 girls on this exact same route, but was unable to convince my girlfriend to skip class and climb it. Contrary to my suggestions she sometimes studies while at school.

 

They both enjoyed it though, defintely a great afternoon out. Next time add on pitch 3 - Springboard variation.

 

Thought about that last pitch variation but decided to spend our time in other ways . Also, I didn't see the start of it and didn't scratch it onto my receipt/topo.

 

Here's the prefect date climb in 20 easy steps:

 

Gene Pires has a story like this that ends in a ring!

 

 

Yep, dates with your wife count, maybe double. Too many guys stop dating their wives.

 

Amen. Everyone wins.

[G-spotter]

 

Did somebody say "Coven"

[Off_White]

No, no, it doesn't rhyme with "oven," that sounds stupid.

[G-spotter]

 

"Dude!"

[Toast]

Where's Uncle Tricky when you need him.

[eric8]

As a somewhat frequent poster of this board once told me "never teach your girlfriend to surf"

[layton]

Rad, that's actualy my perfect date climb too. Do the whole tulip, pretty oceanside thing, go climbing, get some peel and eat shrimp from the shrimp shack, hang out and eat shrimps while watching the views, head over to la conner and get some beer and pizzza.

[G-spotter]

Mikey, I thought your perfect date climb involved a bagless bivy with Choada Boy in a snow cave, eating raw snaffle sushi?

[layton]

yes, well that's a good date too

[jackcash]

i opt to nothin with females in the outdoors.. unless they've gone through hours of scrutinizing.. poking, proding and asking until i'm convinced that this won't be like it is with all those other guys out at frenchmans with their significate otros, hearing these girls scream, bitch, and complain about everything, until their celly rings and they get to talk way to loud to the girlfriends about how extreme they are and how nice it is to be in nature with about 50 other rookie craig dating bitches.. sigh.....so i over look my first instinct, and better judgment.. only to send 3 at tops 4 5 nothin sport routes, while trying to be nice, and understanding, and pretend that i am not seathing inside, because i just spent my last 20 bucks on gas to get fat ass on some rock, only to spend the day dealing with some girl who'd be better with the "abrocrombie climbers" and there cell phones, and expensive yuppie food, and VW jettas..