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Posted
When you get to Van Horn, it's been at least a 100 miles since you've seen another car. when you leave the road is straigtht and flat for the next 100 miles complete with the reassuring sign "next services 93 miles".

 

You just descibed the entire western half of Texas. I put in a vote for the entire state of Kansas.

Posted

Any town on that interstate through nebraska. I remember taking a trip through there on the way to Escalante, UT from Minneapolis, MN with a friend from NYC. He gets out of the van at a desolate gas station, looks around at the sea of corn fields in every direction, then fires out, "Yo, this is the heartland."

Posted

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse

A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,

Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.

Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo

Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,

Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.

Posted

 

I have lived in 11 different places all across the country, and I pretty much agree with Jay that anything east of I-25 is suckland. I have a special hatred for south central Pennsylvannia, but that's for personal reasons. All of East Texas is about as horrible a place as I can imagine living in the US.

 

This song is by James McMurtry (son of Larry McMurtry - "Lonesome Dove" novelist) and deals with his feelings about East Texas.

 

Levelland - James McMurtry

from "Where'd You Hide the Body" 1995

 

Flatter than a tabletop

Makes you wonder why they stopped here

Wagon must have lost a wheel or they lacked ambition one

On the great migration west

Separated from the rest

Though they might have tried their best

They never caught the sun

So they sunk some roots down in the dirt

To keep from blowin' off the earth

Built a town around here

And when the dust had all but cleared

They called it Levelland, the pride of man

In Levelland

 

Granddad grew the dryland wheat

Stood on his own two feet

His mind got incomplete and they put in the home

Daddy's cotton grows so high

Sucks the water table dry

Rolling sprinklers circle round

Bleedin' it to the bone

And I won't be here when it comes a day

It all dries up and blows away

I'd hang around just to see

But they never had much use for me in Levelland

They don't understand me out in Levelland

 

And I watch those jet trails carving up that big blue sky

Coast to coasters watch 'em go

And I never would blame 'em one damn bit

If they never looked down on this

Not much here they'd wanna know

Just Levelland

Far as you can point your hand

Nothin' but Levelland

 

Mama used to roll her hair

Back before the central air

We'd sit outside and watch the stars at night

She'd tell me to make a wish

I'd wish we both could fly

Don't think she's seen the sky

Since we got the satellite dish and

I can hear the marching band

Doin' the best they can

They're playing "Smoke on the Water", "Joy to the World"

I've paid off all my debts

Got some change left over yet and I'm

Gettin' on a whisper jet

I'm gonna fly as far as I can get from

Levelland, doin' the best I can

Out in Levelland - imagine that

Posted
I'll bet that Hell, MI freezes over on a regular basis. I also bet that its residents have heard this quip before.

 

That saying must have been thought up by people who never read Dante... hahaha.gif

 

Yeah, but it's only icy in the 9th circle. There are a few other circles where it's pretty hot.

Posted

Yeah, but it's only icy in the 9th circle. There are a few other circles where it's pretty hot.

 

the deeper you go, the colder/worse it gets.

I still remember images of guys buried to their necks in ice, getting tripped over and having their faces kicked off.

Posted

thinking back, i think hell was the 600 sq ft, 2 bedroom appartment i shared with spouse, kid, 2 cats, 8 newborn puppies, and 4 large dogs--1 nursing bitch, 1 dump as post hyperactive 90# beast, 1 with an ear infection and 1 that was missing it's owner, in the winter of 1999 while waiting to close on our house. Then the cable went out.

Posted
the deeper you go, the colder/worse it gets.

 

Yeah, but it's a dry cold.

 

My Hell was a year spent in Lloydminster, Saskatchewan, working on an oil rig. Which also brought about my longest commute - Lloydminster to the Okanagan Valley for my days off. As I recall, it was about a 16 hour drive each way. Work 3 weeks, drive back to BC for a week off, then back to "Lloydmonster" for another three weeks of work, then drive back to BC... repeat until you just can't go on anymore.

Anyhow, one of my fellow rig pigs couldn't understand why I'd drive all the way back to BC for my days off, and asked why I didn't stay in Lloyd - "here in God's country" is actually what he said. I told him the only reason it was God's country was because no-one else would have it. A brief scuffle ensued, but no one got hurt.

Posted

hmmm, once spent a 4 hr drive in the middle of the summer, without air conditioning, with 4 people in the mazda equivalent of a geo-metro.

 

Oh, and I forgot to mention that our dog had just been skunked hellno3d.gifcry.gif

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