Squirrels

[Bogen]

Squirrels! I try not to hate anything - but squirrels...grr! Well, except for one that earned my grudging respect...

 

I killed 6 of them by hand in my house last year. For a few days I could hear them cavorting about the attic, and when the chewing started, I had to take action (the kids weren't home - all this takes place in the mornings after the kids go to school, but before I go to work so I have the place to myself.)

They were getting in the attic, but wouldn't get caught in the rat trap - too big I think. The trap would go off, sometimes flinging the squirrels around from the sound of it, but never catching them. I sure did feed them alot of peanut butter in the first couple days! I started hanging out up there, leaving peanut butter around to get them used to it, and caught 3 of them just by being patient. One I grabbed by the hind legs, slammed down in the insulation to stun him, then broke his neck. One of them, when I missed my first grab, tried to attack my face but I got him anyway. After that I took my big knife, and got one more by whacking him in the back of the head with the back side of the knife- I didn't want to make a mess, I was just using the knife for extension.

 

The remaining 3 were more clever - 1 black squirrel, sleeker and oddly slower in a more intent, graceful sort of way, was obviously the leader. He would always be sitting there, out of range, silently watching me as I killed what were likely his siblings. When there were only 3 left, I almost got one with my knife, but Blacky finally spoke up and warned him as he came within range.

 

So...I couldn't get near them in the attic, and they could set the trap off consistently, though I often heard them knocked about by it when it went off. On a whim, I nailed the trap to a joist 1 foot away from the attic trap door in the closet, baited it in the morning and left the attic trap door open. Sure enough, within an hour I heard it snap, then some commotion in the closet. I opened the closet and there was Gray White-stripe on the floor, a little stunned. As I reached for him, he bolted into the kitchen, but with the cats help I quickly cornered him and finished him off. (aside - I grew up snaring gophers on the prairies, and have spent many hours playing with these toothsome rodents. Should you try this, be forewarned they are lightening quick, vicious little bastards)

 

I left the trap baited with peanut butter, but unset and went to work. The next morning, I baited and set the trap. Within a couple minutes I heard it go off, and then the squawking of a wounded rodent! Up into the attic, to find the second last one trapped by the leg, and Blacky sitting in his usual spot, silently staring at me. I grabbed the trapped squirrel, and with my forefinger under its chin I broke its neck with my thumb.

Out of the attic, into the kitchen for a bag. As I wrap the dead rodent in his plastic shroud, out of the corner of my eye I see a flash of black at the kitchen door. Thinking it's the cat I say "Look, Kyrie, I got another..." as I turn to see Blacky staring at me across the linoleum.

 

In the next instant he bolts down the hall to the bedrooms, with Kyrie in hot pursuit and me just behind. He leaps onto my daughter's bed and turns to face us, chittering a warning. Kyrie crouches, tail twitching, and I, not wanting to take chances with THIS one, reach to the floor for a pair of jeans to grab him with. As I swing the jeans onto him with my right hand, he dodges left then leaps straight at me! I knock him away with my left hand, through the open door, and off down the hall the three of us go again, in the kitchen over the counter, around the dining area into the living room and back down the hall to my daughter's room again. As we run in the room, I slam the door closed this time. I swing the pants like a club, intending to sweep the rodent off the bed into the wall and stun it. It works somewhat, as Blacky hits the wall with a loud thump, but it doesn't slow him down. Instead he uses the rebound to leap back, this time straight at the cat, who dodges and swipes at him knocking him off balance. I jump on him, finally pinning him to floor as he tries to chew through the jeans to get at me.

 

I have done squirrel behaviour research in the Yukon; I have shot, skinned and profitted from scores of squirrels as a kid back when the furs were worth something; I have killed thousands of gophers, and still consider a case of beer and an afternoon shooting gophers with my dad on a sunny prairie evening to be one of the finest things in life. But as I finally pinched the skin on the back of Blacky's neck, and lifted the furious animal to gaze into his eyes, I felt a moments hesitation, borne of admiration for this inimitable creature. For an instant I considered taking this proud warrior to the forest down the road, and magnanimously releasing him as gesture of respect. He had led an invasion on my home, and, as I dispatched the last of his comrades, had come down to face me Mano y rodent in an outrageous, absurd display of courage. I wonder if he knew he was going to his death, or following some bizarre instinct I can't understand. The moment passed - either way I couldn't deny him the honourable death he sought, or I couldn't allow such an unusually strong invasion instinct to be passed on inside the city.

 

I still hate squirrels. My first instinct when they yell at me in the forest is to reach for a rock, though I never throw it. I never did patch the attic, but there have been no further invasions. I imagine that they know, and tell each other. Maybe they're not all that smart, but when I looked in that one squirrel's beady little eyes, I really thought I saw understanding. Sure, it was the vicious, hateful knowledge of a squirrel, but it was intelligence all the same.

[specialed]

We got some living in our roof. Next spring I'm going to bait and shoot them with my .22. Bastards.

 

Mosquitos are worse though.

[Dru]

Ya its much harder to shoot mosquitoes than squirrels with a .22

[billcoe]

Wow, Bogen, that's some great writing. No joking. Nicely told story. Well spoken.

 

Plan on getting some flames from the anti-don't hurt the fluffy rats folks though. It's probably worth mentioning that you can use a live trap and remove them to somewhere else. Your local raptors have already voted this option as #1 choice.

 

PS, might be time for a new cat as well.

[Bogen]

Thanks!

 

Live trap in the city just makes it someone else's problem.

 

Cat was pretty old at that point. Coyote finally got her this fall. I haven't made up my mind what to do about the coyote, yet.

[Jim]

All non-natives in the city. Have at it.

[cracked]

I heart squirrels. Poor blackie.

[Stemalot]

That's a great little funny story. I like your writing style as well. Well written.

[olyclimber]

So...did you eat them? How did they taste?

[Bogen]

I have eaten squirrel, its not bad, a little...tangy? I wouldn't eat a CITY squirrel!!

[Blake]

You'd be a good guy to have around guarding camp from hungry alpine snaffles.

[bigwalling]

When I was in yosemite I did not feel bad for the ones I saw dead. I fed the fat fucker on top of el cap a big block of cheese. I hope it made him sick.

[billcoe]

Thanks!

 

Live trap in the city just makes it someone else's problem.

 

Cat was pretty old at that point. Coyote finally got her this fall. I haven't made up my mind what to do about the coyote, yet.

 

Quite the city you live in what with the Coyotes and Monster Mafia Squirrels running all over Gods creation but no raptors. Stange you have Coyotes and no raptors -no?

 

I've seen 2 red tails in the last week alone in PDX/Beaverton I see buzzards regularly, and at least 1 maybe 2 Peregrine Falcon (s) (or 3 - but it could be the same one in the area) and a bald eagle - inside the city limits - last summer. Fact is, my neighbors tell me that a Peregrine had landed on my roof and was eating/ripping apart a pigeon much to the childrens amusement - and I live close in inner city. The 1 red tail was right on the light over busy Hyw 217 just a couple of days ago! Looked to be eyeing the grass next to the highway for a meal.

 

I suspect if you'd left Blackie alone, he'd of kicked that Coyote's ass if your cat had but asked nicely.

 

In either case, thanks again for the well told story! Like to hear more of your experiences over a campfire and a beer. Touch base again if the Coyote thing turns into the saga of Ulyssies!

[Skeezix]

Have you guys heard of the revolving peanut butter baited beer can strung over a bucket full of water mouse trap? Works like a charm. I killed about a dozen in the Whatcom Pass ranger camp one night about 18 years ago. Mice can't get the bait and the bucket can accomodate many mice carcasses. Skitter, skitter,"Squeak!" -splash.

[Dru]

Hell just a bucket half full of water kills mice good no need for the waste of p-nut butter

[klenke]

But no mouse is stupid enough to fall into a water-filled bucket for nuthin'. No, you need the peanut butter for bait.

 

Hey bogen, do you also wear vair underwear?

[Blake]

Have you guys heard of the revolving peanut butter baited beer can strung over a bucket full of water mouse trap? Works like a charm. I killed about a dozen in the Whatcom Pass ranger camp one night about 18 years ago. Mice can't get the bait and the bucket can accomodate many mice carcasses. Skitter, skitter,"Squeak!" -splash.

 

That is a good trap, the beauty being that it keeps working after being set and catching a mouse. However, I once got to a cabin along Bridge Creek and noticed a horrible smell upon entering. The last person to stay there had left just such a trap, and they'd been succesful, but not around to despose of their succes.

[Bogen]

do you also wear vair underwear?

 

I had to look that up!

 

\Vair\, n. [F. vair, from OF. vair, a., L. varius various,

variegated. See {Various}, and cf. {Menivel}.]

The skin of the squirrel, much used in the fourteenth century

as fur for garments, and frequently mentioned by writers of

that period in describing the costly dresses of kings,

nobles, and prelates. It is represented in heraldry by a

series of small shields placed close together, and

alternately white and blue. --Fairholt.

No, but that sounds pretty good. Maybe next time.

[Bogen]

Quite the city you live in what with the Coyotes and Monster Mafia Squirrels running all over Gods creation but no raptors. Strange you have Coyotes and no raptors -no?

 

I don't even see or hear owls at night much. I think raptors require at bit more open space to do well, and we have trees everywhere. The coyotes are bold, and smart. I have seen our neighborhood coyote waiting to cross the street on more than one occasion, and am getting to know his route. I can't shoot him, trap him, or poison him; he's too smart to get run over. I can't bait him, because the raccoons will get it first. I haven't used a bow in years, but I'm considering practicing up again. Then it will just be a question of creating a blind in my yard that won't let the neighbors know what I'm up too. I should have been ready for this time of year, I could have had a big Santa sleigh in the front yard, and replaced the Santa dummy with myself for a couple evenings. Imagine - Merry Christmas, varmint, THWACK!

[Dru]

But no mouse is stupid enough to fall into a water-filled bucket for nuthin'. No, you need the peanut butter for bait.

 

No you don't. If you leave a bucket out overnight in a mouse-filled cabin, half full of water, you'll get some dead mice in the morning even if you didn't bait the trap.

 

If you use a bucket of cream instead, though, it won't work cause the mice will churn it into butter as they swim around. and then they will climb out!

[billcoe]

But no mouse is stupid enough to fall into a water-filled bucket for nuthin'. No, you need the peanut butter for bait.

 

HEY! I might have fallen for the trap once with just a beer can for bait but it's real foggy. It could happen to anybody in a drunken haze.

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Bogen, where do you live? Curious.

 

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Re: Mr. Coyote - Anybody else here thinkin neighbors dawg?

[Bogen]

Port Coquitlam, BC. I have as much experience with coyotes as anyone you'll ever meet. Don't worry about the dogs.

 

Anyway, the main reason I haven't decided about the coyote is that I'm not sure if I have a problem with him eating my cat. I found her head, eaten right up to the base of the skull, and whereas a dog might kill a cat, it wouldn't eat it. I could tell from the tracks just where she was taken, and where the obviously canine attacker had approached from. I have seen and followed this coyote a number of times, before and after the attack.

 

I loved my cat very dearly, she was my friend for 16 years, and my best friend through some hard times. I never denied her her freedom, and knew that someday the outdoors would do her in. One winter in Alberta she disappeared for several weeks in a particularly cold snap - I'd left her with friends and gone climbing. She left them and didn't return. When I got home, I searched the neighborhood adjacent to my friend's house for a week, finding familiar tracks in the snow and a place in a garage that she holed up in for a night, but nothing else. 3 weeks after disappearing, she showed up at the window of my house that she usually used for entrance, almost 40 blocks from my friend's house. She had a broken tail, frozen ears that later lost their tips, and was nothing more than skin and bones, but she made it home.

 

I'm still pissed off at the coyote, but that's not a good reason to kill him. He's just doin what he does, outside at night where he belongs, and for the most part is a fairly respectful denizen of my neighborhood. In my heart I want to kill the son of a bitch to avenge my Kyrie, but I know it's probably the wrong thing to do.