Kids say the funniest?

[Harry_Pi]

Hello capitalist!

Spent the afternoon with my eleven year old, 5'7" son, but what can you expect from a 6' X. Anyway, he was telling me about his first ride on the back of a motorcycle and I axed him if it was a Harley, he said yes dad it was. Then I axed him if it had a backrest. Well son, that's called a sissy bar.

I kid you not, his response was, "I haven't been in one of those".

Thank you for allow commie to post.

Tell me your funny story about kids.

[Distel32]

Hello communist!

 

I depart for Red China in one week. Would you like any Mao souvenirs? Thank you for allow boulderer to post!

[Harry_Pi]

Hello capitalist!

Be safe, don't blow your cover, man, I got your back.

Thank you fou allow me to post.

[marylou]

Hello tow-headed Chinaman!

 

One time I was talking to a kid about my job, about how sometimes I work with famous people, and this kid asked me if I ever worked with Shakespeare.

 

Hm, maybe the job really is aging me prematurely....

 

Thank you for allowing stagehand to post.

[bunglehead]

One time I was chilling with one of my friends, and her kid was just standing there, "digging for treasure"

So I asked him, I said:

"What are you doing there, little man?"

And he says:

"Checking for poop"

[catbirdseat]

When I was a kid my parents used to make us go to sunday school. One time we were coming back from church and entering the driveway and my mom said to my dad, "look out, don't run over the cat!", and I said, "my cat runneth over". They thought I was so clever.

[Bronco]

When I was a kid my parents used to make us go to sunday school. One time we were coming back from church and entering the driveway and my mom said to my dad, "look out, don't run over the cat!", and I said, "my cat runneth over". They thought I was so cleaver.

 

what a looser.

[RobBob]

Last year my neighbor detached a retina (eyesight never has recovered unfortunately). We saw by him at his mailbox one day after his surgery, sporting an eyepatch. My daughter pipes up with total seriousness: "Dad, is Mr. Daniels a pirate?"

[Stefan]

My three year old is in the back of the car after 3 hours of driving and complaining quite vigoriously. Mom says, "if you don't stop complaining, we will never stop."

 

3 year old replies, quickly, and sarcastically, "I can complain louder if you would like."

[catbirdseat]

That's quite a precocious lad.

[Scourge]

I hate those little bastards.

[Double_E]

I've got three nieces -- ages 2, 4, and 6. Last April when I actually got to spend some time with them for once (two live in UK & one in Virginia), 4 year old Chloe said something kinda funny.

 

I had been talking to 2-YO Sophia, and my toddler-speak must've sounded kinda stupid, cause Chloe all of a sudden says to me: "You don't KNOW babies, very well, DO you?" And so I said something like "hmm well no Chloe I guess I don't..." and I then thought to myself "... and thank god for that!!!!!"

 

Yeah I like kids and all and who knows I may even (god help me) have some of my own some day... but I really don't care for them them until they're old enuf to actually have a personality. When they're in the infant/toddler stage they're basically like larva who just eat and shit and sleep all the time... seem like they're more trouble than they're worth.

 

Anyway, Chloe is just starting to have a personality... seems like she might grow up to be a sassy little lassie.

[foraker]

I'm thinking some of these kids sound like some of you adults.

[Dru]

"Children should be seen and not heard."

[RobBob]

I actually grew up in a household where that phrase was often used...

[DPS]

My 10 year old niece told me I am going to hell. When I asked why she replied her dad told her so because I am a biologist and believe in evolution.

[Dru]

You should tell her a dinosaur will eat her if she believes that shit.

[Distel32]

tie her to a cross