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The Worst Roadside Bivy and the Oregon Problem


jordop

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michael_layton said:

Scary, I'm involved in like 3 or 4 of these stories?

 

My worst, also in OR. Pulled off hwy very late and very cold. Step out of car onto a hoof and leg. Turn my headlamp on to piss on nearby tire pile. Not a tire pile, but a pile of bloating carcasses. Horrified, I turn aroudn and find myself surrounded by dead cows, deer, and snafflehounds in various states of decay and dismemberment. Too tired to move, I put noseplugs in and kept one eye open till dawn. hellno3d.gif

 

Mmmmm...carcasses.

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I snore. Loudly. Especially if I have been drinking.

 

My buddy and I are crashed by the side of the rode in a remote part of Nevada on our way back from Zion. We're both crashed in the back of his Ford pick-up when he starts bitching about my snoring. I do the inchworm in my sleeping bag and fall off the tailgate, continuing the inchworm until I am under the truck. He stops bitching.

 

Until it rains. And it rains hard. He crawls under the truck too.

 

Then the bitching begins again. So we get up and start drinking. bigdrink.gif

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rbw1966 said:

I snore. Loudly. Especially if I have been drinking.

 

My buddy and I are crashed by the side of the rode in a remote part of Nevada on our way back from Zion. We're both crashed in the back of his Ford pick-up when he starts bitching about my snoring. I do the inchworm in my sleeping bag and fall off the tailgate, continuing the inchworm until I am under the truck. He stops bitching.

 

Until it rains. And it rains hard. He crawls under the truck too.

 

Then the bitching begins again. So we get up and start drinking. bigdrink.gif

 

I love a happy ending.

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Going to Rattlesnake Point in Ontario, we arrived late at night and for some reason we didn't want to head into the park so we pulled onto a farm road, and hopped a fence to roll out our bags where there was some nice flat grass on the other side.

 

About six in the morning, I heard some snorting and cracked an eye open to see a big nose, with some big eyes somewhere not far behind. I shake the fog out of my brain and I realize it's a large cow, and then I notice that we are completely surrounded by ten or twelve of them. They are all standning in a perfect circle, staring at us. The big guy and his friends stand resolute as I nudge my buddy and we both sit up to start discussing what to do. Ethan stands up and waves his arms. No dice. He grabs a sack of tent poles that we hadn't used, rattles it and swings it as if he's going to whack Mr. Big (he's too scared to actually make contact). No luck. Whistling, shouting, whatever we try just doesn't seem to change anything.

 

Five minutes later, farmer Joe must have opened up the barn or something. We didn't hear or notice any signal, but the cows just turned away and walked off.

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mattp said:

Five minutes later, farmer Joe must have opened up the barn or something. We didn't hear or notice any signal, but the cows just turned away and walked off.

 

yelrotflmao.gif Either that or they determined through their council meeting that you were not a true threat and just left feeling sorry for you.

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mattp said:

Going to Rattlesnake Point in Ontario, we arrived late at night and for some reason we didn't want to head into the park so we pulled onto a farm road, and hopped a fence to roll out our bags where there was some nice flat grass on the other side.

 

About six in the morning, I heard some snorting and cracked an eye open to see a big nose, with some big eyes somewhere not far behind. I shake the fog out of my brain and I realize it's a large cow, and then I notice that we are completely surrounded by ten or twelve of them. They are all standning in a perfect circle, staring at us. The big guy and his friends stand resolute as I nudge my buddy and we both sit up to start discussing what to do. Ethan stands up and waves his arms. No dice. He grabs a sack of tent poles that we hadn't used, rattles it and swings it as if he's going to whack Mr. Big (he's too scared to actually make contact). No luck. Whistling, shouting, whatever we try just doesn't seem to change anything.

 

Five minutes later, farmer Joe must have opened up the barn or something. We didn't hear or notice any signal, but the cows just turned away and walked off.

 

Car bivied just a little ways before the TH to Big Sandy Lake, WY this summer. Woke up to a bunch of free range cattle roaming around. The big bulls took turns snorting and stamping and giving each other the evil eye, then charging until they were eyeball to eyeball. Then they just stood there for several seconds, looked around a little sheepishly, and charged off to take care of the next rival. Freakin' hilarious, big stupid oafs.

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My worst road bivy actually happened in a god-forsaken hell hole known as Arizona. I was driving straight through from Oregon to W. Texas and made the mistake of having a beer with dinner. bigdrink.gif Twenty minutes later I was in danger of nodding over the wheel of my Datsun 210, rolleyes.gif so I pulled into the Interstate meridian to doze for an hour or two. I laid a sawed off Ithica pump across my lap and reclined the drivers seat at about 1:30 AM.

 

I had the strangest dream that I'd slept all night and the sun was up and the Arizona Highway Patrol was looking in my window.

 

I awoke with a start. Started the engine and, in now broad daylight, backed the car up into the middle of the interstate, past two Highway Patrol cars parked behind me and drove away. shocked.gif

 

Oddly enough they didn't give chase, but that was before that nut Tim McVey pulled his shit. So maybe they weren't quite as sensitive as they are today.

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browntoe98 said:

My worst road bivy actually happened in a god-forsaken hell hole known as Arizona.

 

It's unfortunate that you didn't sop and do some of the quality climbing on your way to the real hole, West Texas.

 

You would find some excellent and varied routes in that fine state.

 

Agre wih the bivvy, though, but it could have been worse, especially if it happened in Texas.

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MisterE said:

browntoe98 said:

My worst road bivy actually happened in a god-forsaken hell hole known as Arizona.

 

 

 

It's unfortunate that you didn't sop and do some of the quality climbing on your way to the real hole, West Texas.

 

You would find some excellent and varied routes in that fine state.

 

Agre wih the bivvy, though, but it could have been worse, especially if it happened in Texas.

 

Man, no argument there. I spent 8 years in that weeping pustule on the buttocks of the universe (W. Texas). ...but Phoenix runs a close second.

 

Now I live in paradise, TGNW. And I'm only gonna leave feet first (unless I happen to fall into the crevasse head first of course)

 

 

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