Scott_J Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 NEW WORDS - Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary: BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line answer to the couch potato. SITCOM: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J trial was a prime example. Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony is another. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the shit out of an electronic device to get it to work again. VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for some computer commands. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glacierdog Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 Ha ha! I know all about Blamestorming. Nothing happens here without it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 Here's one: "Carpetland". Used by lab dwellers in reference to that part of the workplace inhabited by paper pushers and bean counters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny_destiny Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 Catbirdseat, I thought that was a place where lezzies hung out. Like carpet licker, carpet muncher, etc. Carpet land would be a perfect place for lezzies to group up and find more carpet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 Furbling - Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EWolfe Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 Nice, Sisu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 I am affraid I maybe a mouse potato Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 Those would be hilarious to me if it wasn't my grim reality EVERY DAY I WORK. They are all on the mark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 bunglehead said: Those would be hilarious to me if it wasn't my grim reality EVERY DAY I WORK. They are all on the mark. I thoughts thats what made them funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul_K Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 LEGLIFTER: Needs to mark territory by getting involved in every decision and discussion even if their input is not needed. (insert peeing dog graemlin here) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapertimmy Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 what would you call someone that takes every oportunity to whine and complain about shit? or how about the fuckstick that always cc's his boss on emails he sends to me, as if that will make me do what he asked faster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglehead Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 That sucks. The same thing happens where I work. I really hate office politics. It's like Lord of the Flies around here sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott_J Posted September 12, 2003 Author Share Posted September 12, 2003 gapertimmy said: what would you call someone that takes every oportunity to whine and complain about shit? or how about the fuckstick that always cc's his boss on emails he sends to me, as if that will make me do what he asked faster. timmy that is called an ass kisser and i could dream up some nasty stuff to do to the fucker if i worked there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dru Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 what do you call the guy who prints off a paper copy of every email he ever sends or receives? we had one at my old job. i called him a treekiller but theres got to be a better one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cj001f Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 iain said:Furbling - Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line. You realize there are little clips on all of those lines? And all you have to do is unclip them and walk striaght through? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott_J Posted September 12, 2003 Author Share Posted September 12, 2003 Dru said: what do you call the guy who prints off a paper copy of every email he ever sends or receives? we had one at my old job. i called him a treekiller but theres got to be a better one. Gee he sounds like my mother-in-law Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 faffer: someone who engages in faffing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 cj001f said: iain said:Furbling - Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line. You realize there are little clips on all of those lines? And all you have to do is unclip them and walk striaght through? shut up, smartass! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EWolfe Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 cj001f said: iain said:Furbling - Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line. You realize there are little clips on all of those lines? And all you have to do is unclip them and walk striaght through? Damn non-conformist I am sending you to see THE BECK !!! That ought to straighten you out! Bwahahahaha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphinx Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 MisterE said: cj001f said: iain said:Furbling - Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line. You realize there are little clips on all of those lines? And all you have to do is unclip them and walk striaght through? Damn non-conformist I am sending you to see THE BECK !!! That ought to straighten you out! Bwahahahaha! That made me literally lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.