layton Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 All I kept hearing was how much sympathy I'd get from 'da ladies. I ain't got shit. Some theories: 1.I frighten small children 2.Aggro wheelchair drivin' 3.Aggro crutchin' 4.Aggro gimpin' 5.Women want to be taken care of, not the reverse 6.I look like a homeless bum 7.I look like a vetran 8.I'm expecting it, therefor I ain't getting it. 9.I leave the ladies speachless with desire Seriously, not one attractive female has stopped and done the whole puppy dog thing. No hot college girls, no drunk hippy chick, and certainly no MILFS. This blows. I'm getting a puppy. ps. the same complaint goes for being a climber. "oh your a climber, you must get all the ladies." PPS. what do you call a climber w/no girlfriend. A: homeless Quote
allthumbs Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 doooood you need to take my class... trask on love 101 Quote
Dru Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 michael_layton said: All I kept hearing was how much sympathy I'd get from 'da ladies. I ain't got shit. Some theories: 1.I frighten small children 2.Aggro wheelchair drivin' 3.Aggro crutchin' 4.Aggro gimpin' 5.Women want to be taken care of, not the reverse 6.I look like a homeless bum 7.I look like a vetran 8.I'm expecting it, therefor I ain't getting it. 9.I leave the ladies speachless with desire Seriously, not one attractive female has stopped and done the whole puppy dog thing. No hot college girls, no drunk hippy chick, and certainly no MILFS. This blows. I'm getting a puppy. ps. the same complaint goes for being a climber. "oh your a climber, you must get all the ladies." PPS. what do you call a climber w/no girlfriend. A: homeless its cuz you were photographed geting a hummer from a wooden marmot Quote
layton Posted June 19, 2003 Author Posted June 19, 2003 Maybe it's cuz in the last year: I got a hummer from a giant marmot (nice ass, eh ladies?) I have two disgusting broken feet I am totally broke I was announced as "dead" on several television stations I approached over 56 alpine climbs instead of going to my girlfriends family functions I have made over 500 posts on this stupid website One of my best friends is Necronomicon Polish Bob is my massage therapist I have a photo on this website of me licking a cut that went down to the bone I had a photo on this website of me decked out in spandex in a x/c ski race The list of strikes is long indeed. Quote
marylou Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 Yes, it's all part of the rich fabric that is life..... Quote
DPS Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 Shortly after being discharged from the hospital after taking a bit of a spill, a small child pointed at me and said, 'look mommy, a pirate'. I think the bandage around my head threw him off. Quote
allthumbs Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 yep, and he's got his eye on you, timmy. told me so, himself bwahahaha Quote
gapertimmy Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 huh, wonder if he knows my cousin and her husband that do the massage thing up in b-ham also Quote
minx Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 it's the spandex...man chicks don't dig the spandex . that's gonna be a hard reputation to lose. i mean sucking on a gaping wound, being broke (you're a climber you should still be getting laid right?) being horribly disfigured, EVEN posting on cc.com....all these can be over looked but have you no self respect??? Come on man! there is never a good reason for spandex!!! Quote
lummox Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 gapertimmy said: Polish Bob is a massage therapist? wtf does bob polish anyway? how much for the fullbody masage? Quote
allthumbs Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 first thing i've ever agreed with minx about Quote
catbirdseat Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 What Michael had in mind was like in the scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where Harrison Ford is all banged up after getting dragged by a horse, etc. and the heroine kisses him on the only place that doesn't hurt- one of his elbows. Then they make love. Too bad, dude. You know, the puppy idea ain't bad. The chicks like cute puppies. Great way to break the ice. Quote
minx Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 catbirdseat said: What Michael had in mind was like in the scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where Harrison Ford is all banged up after getting dragged by a horse, etc. and the heroine kisses him on the only place that doesn't hurt- one of his elbows. Then they make love. Too bad, dude. You know, the puppy idea ain't bad. The chicks like cute puppies. Great way to break the ice. yeah but Indiana Jones never wore spandex i recommend a beagle pup...i'd come over to pet your puppy Quote
dberdinka Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 michael_layton said: All I kept hearing was how much sympathy I'd get from 'da ladies. I ain't got shit. Some theories: I vote for #6. You look like a homeless, drunk bum. But then again you almost are! Quote
jordop Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 michael_layton said: All I kept hearing was how much sympathy I'd get from 'da ladies. I ain't got shit. Some theories: 1.I frighten small children 2.Aggro wheelchair drivin' 3.Aggro crutchin' 4.Aggro gimpin' 5.Women want to be taken care of, not the reverse 6.I look like a homeless bum 7.I look like a vetran 8.I'm expecting it, therefor I ain't getting it. 9.I leave the ladies speachless with desire Seriously, not one attractive female has stopped and done the whole puppy dog thing. No hot college girls, no drunk hippy chick, and certainly no MILFS. This blows. I'm getting a puppy. ps. the same complaint goes for being a climber. "oh your a climber, you must get all the ladies." PPS. what do you call a climber w/no girlfriend. A: homeless Dude, it's cause you're a chain smoking elf. Try looking for love under bridges and toadstools Quote
lummox Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 michael_layton dont give up hope of finding love just because humans find you undesireable. go trans-species. Quote
layton Posted June 19, 2003 Author Posted June 19, 2003 This got skewd as a how to get laid topic. I was hoping to be treated like an injured puppy for just a little sympathy from random hot girls, instead of the level III sex-offender looks I've been getting. I think it's cuz of the homeless look. Time to shave and get out the pumice stone. I agree w/the spandex. I only pull 'em out for euro type events such as ski racing and sport routes circa 1985. Guys should have to wear a sign on their back when riding their bikes saying, "Do not look, I am a Man". I hate those fucking dudes! Wear a pair of blue jeans and t-shirt like a god fearing american! Quote
Mr._Natural Posted June 19, 2003 Posted June 19, 2003 mike, maybe its cause you keep asking them if they want to see your bloody pins?!?! just a guess.... Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.