Response to Juan's Concern for the Group

[Paco]

I thought that I should respond to Juan’s and others’ comments because it seems that my Dragontail TR post, at least in part, was responsible for him starting the thread.

 

Here goes…

 

Juan, your concern is appreciated and I share your sentiments in that I hope people are more careful out there.

 

The main reason that I wrote and posted my trip report was to share a really intense personal experience with others in the climbing community. This climb was decidedly not just another ordinary experience for me. I do not regularly solo routes, and I consider myself, at best, to be just another climber.

 

My plan for the climb was to take minimal gear. I even considered leaving my helmet at home to save weight, but thought the better of that. I didn’t take a rope so the only method I had for bailing was to down climb or traverse off, if possible. I was practically naked. I wore a thin polypro layer on my legs and two thin layers on my top. In my pack I carried an additional thin fleece layer for my top, and a pair of gore-tex pants for my legs. Wearing all I had would not have kept me warm at night if I were unable to move. I did, however, carry plenty of water, and plenty of food.

 

Climbing in this fashion leaves little or no room for error. The margin of safety is significantly decreased. The importance of climbers’ actions and decisions are increased exponentially as less gear taken. Soloing further reduces the margin of safety.

 

Soloing involves very serious consequences. Regardless of the difficulty of the route or the climber’s ability, soloing takes a full commitment and anything less will leave you in a heap at the bottom. Such is the nature of soloing.

 

On the climb, after getting off route, I encountered harder technical climbing than I had expected. There were times during which I felt really exposed. I wasn’t sure what was ahead, and I knew that I couldn’t down climb what was below. There was never a moment where I felt like I was on the verge of pitching off, but by no means did I feel totally secure and comfortable. There was a brief moment when I thought to myself, “Man, I don’t know what the outcome of this is going to be.” This was my first experience of the kind. There was no panic, only a disheartening acceptance. The full effect of the commitment that I had made when starting was being reinforced. This thought lasted only for a few moments and then my attention focused rather intensely on the climbing. My moves were deliberate and methodical. I was surprised at how well my mind and body reacted to the situation.

 

These situations do make an impression on you. Maybe these situations are common to great climbers who constantly push their limits or soloists who do the same, but for me this was a very new and very different experience. I got in a situation that was more difficult that I would have normally chosen to solo, but in the end when all was said and done I felt extremely rewarded. I liked how my body and mind reacted. I liked the intense emotion. I liked being able to rise to the occasion. I learned a lot about myself through this experience. I can’t say that I want to rush out and go through the same experience again, but I like how I have grown form it. The harder we push, the more we are rewarded when we succeed. Failure in this game occurs only once.

 

Is this what is required to become a great climber, in particular a great alpinist, today? Do the best climbers succeed because they solo hard routes. It certainly indicates to the climbing community that they can hold their shit together. Does soloing hard routes allow one to push themselves that much harder when on lead with a rope? The difference in fear between a 20 ft fall and a 2000 ft fall is indeed significant. Is soloing hard routes the membership requirement for joining the ranks of elite alpinists, or is it merely a quick way to weed out those who are not qualified?

 

Messner soloed hard routes in the Dolomites, the Alps, and on Everest. Twight soloed hard routes I the Alps. House soloed a new route, Beauty is a Rare Thing, on Denali. Muggs Stump soloed the Cassin on Denali. John Bouchard soloed the Black Dike and new routes in the Alps. Colin soloed the North Face of Graybeard last May. (I just had to plug one in there for Colin. He’s a badass!) The list goes on.

 

This is what has plagued my mind for a few years now and caused me the greatest concern. Is there an unspoken need for today’s aspiring alpinists to solo hard routes in order to join the ranks of the elite?

[mattp]

Nice post, Paco. You are absolutely right, in talking about soloing, when you say that "the margin of safety is significantly decreased" and that "the importance of climbers' actions and decisions are increased [even more] as less gear taken" but, for me, it is always more than that. When climbing alone, I find everything FEELS much more serious even when it may in fact not be. On every significant solo climb I have undertaken, there has always been at least some period of time - even if only momentarily - where I seriously started to doubt whether the whole thing was a good idea. I have experienced this while soloing relatively easy routes on a rock crag or while slogging up a standard glacier hike, as well as when attempting unclimbed routes on a remote mountain wall. In my case, I never thought about whether this would introduce me to the world of the "elite," (I'm distorting what you said slightly, I know) but I came at it more from an equally self-indulgent fantasy that I was going to learn something really deep from the whole business - along the lines of some native American visionquest of something. As a teenager, I thought it was cool to go sit on a mountain top and fast and stuff like that, then I started making long backcountry tours alone and found great pleasure in the ability to find solitude deep in the winter wilderness, and it was after that that I started soloing real climbs.

 

My point, if I have one, is that all of us are driven by different motives whenever we head out to climb, but it is all really rather questionable if you stop to think about it. And solo climbing is probably more questionable than lots of other things we do, but maybe no more foolish than skiing avalanche slopes after a fresh dump of snow or climbing some Canadian Rockies chossheap behind a party of climbers who is throwing stones at you or leading some runout testpiece on the local crag. All of us need to constantly ask ourselves what we are doing, why, and how it may affect our future and our families' future.

[iain]

I've felt pretty unsure of myself on solo climbs and I've only soloed more moderate things like reid hw and stuff on hood or the north sister in oregon. I guess I feel more lonely than anything else, just hanging out on steep ice in the dark, in total silence with just the sound of ice tinkling down the gully. Those climbs have been by far some of the most rewarding mountain experiences I've ever had but I can't believe I keep putting myself back in that spot by choice though nice post!

[Lambone]

I used to go on these solo back packing trips in Montana, and I mostly worried about grizzlies. One time I came face to face with a moose out in the back country and about lost my shit...

 

But those are some of my most cherished experiences. It's been a while since I've done anything like that, but this summer I'm hoping to solo a wall, just to get that same feeling. 'Cause there really isn't anything like being out on your own, with no easy way home. Of course, I plan to have a rope, a comfy bed, a boom box and beers, so it's not really in the same class as Pacos alpine experience.

[Bug]

Soloing is a different sport. Climbing with a partner and a rope is confining and slow but is made up for by being safer and sharing the experience. Either way, what I remember best about specific climbs are those moments when I was alone at the crux. Soloing is a steady stream of being "alone at the crux". It cannot be taken lightly. My soloing urge was severly crimped when I had kids. It was only then that I realized how far I had been willing to push my own mortality.

Still, it is a freedom unmatched on a rope. It is as close as I can get to flying. When my children are older I will resume. Until then, I will solo the R&D route and remember.............

[fleblebleb]

Paco said:There was no panic, only a disheartening acceptance.

 

I've only had that feeling on roped climbs, after climbing past the point where the last piece of pro stopped being useful, or where there was no solid pro available - but "a disheartening acceptance" is a pretty good description of it.

[specialed]

Free Soloing at a challenging level is a mind game. Its beyond words. I don't think you can make any generalizations about it. Even though I enjoy soloing at a certain level, I wouldn't attempt to figure out what goes through Dean Potter's or Peter Croft's head when they soloed Astroman or Twight when he did the FA solo of Virtual Reality. The amount of focus and mind control is beyond my comprehension. Some climbers like Bachar and Henry Barber soloed for an audience and were motivated by competition. Yabo was more like an out of control dare devil. Is that different? I don't know. It pisses me off when people try to say soloing is this or soloing is that. You can't fuck up, you'll die blah blah. No shit.

It is what it is. Leave it alone.

[skyclimb]

Ingredients for SOLO:

a mixture of ingredients found over long periolous journeys to far reaching places. Take all these ingredients and mix them together. Place them in the oven, and the result is the SOLO. Will it rise, or will it fall?sounds like you have the right ingredients. Many people find false ingredients through other sources, and end up never seeing the finished product.

[skyclimb]

Dean Potter, Fitzroy & Cerro torre, top of the line soloing.

[Dru]

Guy Edwards was a total bad ass I would say much more so than Colin, but he's still dead. Ditto Alex Lowe. There is a lesson to be learned there.

[JuanTwoPunch]

These are well written and thoughtful posts. I've never soloed anything hard, so really can't add anything to the dialogue. There were times when I thought my partners (or partners) and I might fall as a roped unit on steep snow, but that's different. I remember feeling really stupid for being there, but then concentrating like hell.

 

I really appreciate your writings Paco. Maybe you need to chill for a month before you try it again. You obviously are a good climber. I hope to see you out there some time.

 

Cheers to all,

 

John

[specialed]

Dru said:

Guy Edwards was a total bad ass I would say much more so than Colin, but he's still dead. Ditto Alex Lowe. There is a lesson to be learned there.

 

The lesson is that the mountains offer a lot of objective danger. None of those guys died soloing or even climbing technical ground, but hiking. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. You can minimize that danger by trying to go fast but you're still rolling the dice. But I don't think its any easier to accept the death of a friend if they died as a result of their own mistake like falling while soloing, than if they were hit by a huge slide from above.

[Dru]

I wouldn't call halfway up the NW Face of Devils Thumb, hiking.....

[specialed]

They weren't on technical ground and the danger was objective.

[Dru]

Agreed objective, respectfully disagree technical. Two tools is technical.

[glen]

Great thread. I think that regardless of the motivation or decision behind doing something solo, there is much to be learned from how you respond to situations when no one is watching. I know from my own experience that I respond very differently when I'm alone on technical ground than when with a partner. While the safety net of having a partner there (roped or no) is encouraging, the interpersonal dynamics give the experience a different flavor. If you are alone, the thought of "What will my partner think if I do XYZ?" simply never enters the equation. I won't say that it is a more pure experience because they are apples and oranges and they are both pure in their own context. That said, long days of light and fast x-country travel in the Sierras with a mix of climbing/running/head scratching have been some the best days of my life. The technical aspects have been focal points of a broader style of experience.

[rbw1966]

Dru said:

Guy Edwards was a total bad ass I would say much more so than Colin, but he's still dead. Ditto Alex Lowe. There is a lesson to be learned there.

 

WHile I can't comment of how Edwards passed away, Alex Lowe died in an avalanche on Shishapangma. He was traversing on skis over non-technical terrain. HOw this plays into your argument I dont know.

[Dru]

Being a bad ass does not confer invulnerability so all those people out there who think to themselves "Person X is a bad ass so he will not die" are due for serious shock sooner or later. I dont think it has anything much to do with soloing more with dying.

Edited May 2, 2003 by Dru

[specialed]

Nice Dru. That's the same idea I was trying to articulate.

[Alpinfox]

JuanTwoPunch said:

... I've never soloed anything hard, so really can't add anything to the dialogue....

 

One of the mind-blowing things about soloing is that it doesn't have to be hard to be a lot of fun. Romping up the S. face of Da Toof in 15 minutes (especially if you pass some wide-eyed "Mountaineers") is a blast even though it's not hard. The sense of freedom and continuity of the climbing movement (no stopping every 150' to belay) is exhilirating. When you are alone, even just hiking, there are NO COMPROMISES. You stop and rest when you feel like it, you go faster when you feel like it. If you decide the original objective has lost some of its flair and you'd rather smoke a bowl and lay in the grass and watch the clouds, you don't have that internal dialogue "I can't do that because I don't want to let my partner down". I think that is the best part of soloing, be it on Cerro Torre or walking through discovery park. Of course soloing technical routes has the added niftiness of forcing you to be cool-headed and concentrate like nothing else I have ever done. Mind like a laser!

 

Interesting note:

I watched some video about Peter Croft soloing in the Sierras and he said he first started doing it because he couldn't find climbing partners, then he fell in love with it and did it even when partners were available. Since my main climbing partner is employed and I, thankfully, am not, I have had a similar experience recently. It really is fantastic to be out by yourself.

 

Have fun out there

 

 

[specialed]

Cool concept Fox. "I'm gunna solo out to the corner store to get a sixer, which I'm going to attempt to solo. This here joint though, we'd better make a group effort, might even want to rope up."

[EWolfe]

[mattp]

Our reactions to learning of "near misses" and accidents differ, but I think we do tend to feel differently about it depending on our own judgment about whether the person involved was acting somehow foolish or irresponsible. It is all very subjective, but if someone gets killed because of a freak accident it is a different matter than if they go out and attempt a known death route in bad weather. Or, when reacting to a solo climbing accident, the pain and shock we feel is probably just as deep either way if it is someone close to us but there are a lot more thoughts and emotions involved besides grief. To some, simply venturing into the mountains or onto the crag by one's self is akin to playing Russian Roulette and if anything at all happens, they may be thinking "see, I told you so" or "climbers like that reflect poorly on the sport." Those who go on solo climbs themselves may be thinking "Hmm... could this happen to me?" or I'm a safe climber because I would never do what that person did. " Or whatever. These judgments affect our emotional feelings about the accident.

[Alpine_Tom]

It seems to me, you're just as dead if you die on the "non-technical" part of a solo route as on the technical part. Muggs Stump and Renatto Casotto both died, soloing, on non-technical ground; Messner fell into a crevasse on his solo of Everest just as he was starting out and, according to him, it was nearly fatal. None of these would have been a problem had they been roped.

I've soloed stuff that maybe I shouldn't have, and if I'd twisted my ankle or a rock fell (or handhold failed) at the wrong time, I'd have been a goner.

Juan and I are both older (over 40), and with age comes an understanding that death and disaster can in fact happen. If I were as good as Colin (which I'm not) I doubt I'd attempt a solo of Triple Couloirs or Greybeard, partly because I've got a wife and kids expecting me to come home.

It was one of the Whittakers who said "there are old climbers and bold climbers, but there are no old, bold climbers."

 

 

[PLC]

Dave "Spike" Mahre is a relative of my wife, and when I first met him he told me the "old" vs. "bold" adage and implied that now that I was getting married, I'd better be prepared to give up the "bold" part. If you look at some of the stuff Dave put up around here, though, you'll see that people's definitions of "bold" can vary pretty widely.