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Posted (edited)

"Tuned guitars and firm feelin women are the only two things in life that make it worth livin-"

 

Old Benny F. said -Visitors and fish stink after three days- but climbers seem to think they are exempt from this adage

 

I wish I was smart instead of beautiful

Edited by texplorer
Posted (edited)

"Tuned guitars and firm feelin women are the only two things in life that make it worth livin-"

 

"Let's go to Luchenbach, Texas, Waylon and Willie and the boys. This city life we're livin's got us feudin' like the Hatfields and McCoys..."

nice one

 

"Well, it was just about then that the Duke Boys showed up."

-Waylon

Edited by North_by_Northwest
Posted

Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.

 

More nervous than a ring-tailed cat in a rocking-chair factory.

 

He was so crooked he had to screw his pants on every morning.

 

Put Chinese handcuffs on their peckers and let 'em fight it out.

 

 

Posted

"Busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest"

 

"Can't swing a dead cat without hitting a ...(fill in blank) "

 

"Only two things smell like dead fish, and one of them is dead fish..."

Posted

No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.

 

The edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

 

Posted

"Better to cover the fish, than chase the cat."

 

"That things handier than a pocket on a shirt!"

 

Dr. Flash Amazing is a dick! - Trask (I always liked this one.)

Posted

Confucious say, man who fart in church sits in his own pew.

 

If it were easy, I would have done it myself.

 

It's good enough for the girls I go with.

 

It's good enough for government work.

 

Slower than a sack of shit on a sand dune.

 

Colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg.

Posted

That fellow is:

...a brick short of a full load.

...a card short of a full deck.

...a dim bulb.

 

If I could put your brain in a matchbox, it would bounce around like a BB in a box car.

 

If you had half a brain, it would be lonesome.

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