tvashtarkatena

Heh heh.

Thanks for winning WWII. Thanks, Dad. After that...65 years of continual, increasingly expensive warfare in places we never should have been.

Read up, my fine soldiers of freedom! Read up!

FW's freedom, the freedom he's stood behind in word if not deed every damn American day, all day.

Freedom from dusty old Constitution. Freedom to blow a trillion stomping on some little brown people because we fucking feel like it. Freedom to shove our cult down everyone else's throat. Freedom from The Gay Hordes. Freedom from the yoke of totalitarianism...unless practiced by our own government or corporations. Republican Freedom.

4 times more expensive than anyone else's.

In fact, it's pretty fucking expensive.

And it ain't free.

It's the FREEDOM, stupid.

Freedom from affordable and equal access to health care for all. Freedom to be fucked in the ass by corporations. Read up. Read up!

Gladly wood this cross I'd bear.

It's a Tim Burton style zombie, you idiots.

and sometimes you even get a double negative.

Predictable omission: Obama was at Dover giving full military honors to those killed for the better part of an entire night...most of it off camera. I'd say your post says more about your poverty of spirit than Obama's.

The only sport I like watching on TV are swimming and curling. Swimming because that shit is so amazing. Curling, because the chicks are hot, but dressed like Applebee's waitresses.

Thank God for basketball; the last thing we need is more overcrowding in our prisons. I actually hate basketball, too; it was me dear ole Da's favorite sport and I was his favorite opponent. Plus, I can't dribble for shit. Plus, I'm short. And I can't jump. Or shoot. In fact, that only sports I like that involve spheres smaller than planet earth are squash and raquetball. Like baseball, you get to hit things (occasionally burning one into your partners backside) but unlike baseball, you get to hit them more often than once an inning. I like climbing because you're half a rope length from the nearest Angry Hairless Monkey on average.

Jade is a beautiful stone. I throw like a girl, and that is an insult to girls everywhere. Furthermore, every time a try to throw like a girl I pull something in my elbow. Plus, I just don't like to stand around waiting for something to happen. I want to be actively taunting The Furies for something to happen. I can remember playing softball drunk on vodka stolen from my buddy's dad's Mexican restaurant during high school PE and I was STILL bored. Finally, I hate white trash, so it would follow that I hate a sport played by white trash, except when they're Dominican. I prefer sports played by elite athletes, like polo, or basketball.

I suspect that people who don't get baseball are probably sociopaths.

Baseball isn't so much a sport as a ceremonial ritual for the masses to reconnect with common, iconic American narratives. Which may be why I don't get what the deal is at all.

We self-parody. You deride.

The only fantasy I'm into involves Catholic School Girl uniforms.

Finally, a principled group dedicated to Not Doing Something. Their meeting minutes must be easy as hell to record. From the OKerz blog: "For 8 years of Bush you brave outspoken souls don't say peep. This man tosses aside the Constitution and he's given a second term. Suddenly you get Constitution religion with the election of Obama...."

Purrell Corporation - Turrell Corporation?

I just wish that shit woulda stayed outta the White House

That joke is what I'm reduced to tonight.