This was my reaction when one of my Aussie friends tried to convince me to try a coffee enema. Thank god I drink tea.
For inquiring minds (you won't find this on the starbucks menu):
How do you take your coffee enema?
"How to take a Coffee Enema
What is a Coffee Enema?
Coffee enemas detoxify the liver, stimulating both liver and gallbladder to remove toxins, open bile ducts, increase peristaltic action, and produce enzyme activity for healthy red blood cell formation and oxygen uptake. The coffee enema is a retention enema. Depending on your experience with enemas, you may prefer to have a water enema before-hand to help with retaining the coffee.
The cardinal rule of coffee enemas is to use only organic coffee. Inorganic coffee contains a host of carcinogenic chemicals which, due to the nature of the colon and coffee enemas in particular, are carried directly to the liver. Organic coffee is available through health food stores. Never use inorganic, instant, or decaffeinated coffees.
One of the best-known effects of a coffee enema is it's awakening effect, which, while clarifying, energising and often inspiring. When taken too close to bed-time, can result in a somewhat 'over-productive' night awake in bed. For this reason it is best not to take coffee enemas in the evening, the best time being the morning or early afternoon. Interestingly, while late-night coffee enemas almost always have this effect, according to Charlotte Gerson, daughter of Dr. Max Gerson and director of the Gerson Institute, patients awoken for night-time ( coffee ) enemas have no trouble getting back to sleep.
What you will need
1. 3 rounded tablespoons of ground organic coffee, preferably s.a.Wilsons
2. use purified or distilled water... only!
3. non-aluminium, non-teflon pan ( enamel pan is best )
4. strainer or sieve fine enough for use with the coffee
5. jug for carrying the coffee, at least a quart in size
6. enema bag / bucket and enema tip
7. hook or chain / twine to hang the bag from
8. plastic sheet large enough to protect the floor from any spillage
9. towels and a pillow to make the floor more comfortable
10. clock or timer with which to time the enema
11. toilet
Aluminium is a metal which, although more easily made into pots & pans, etc, than safer alternatives such as stainless steel or ceramics, is extremely toxic to our bodies, contributing to many degenerative diseases and always contributing to ill health. When we cook food, coffee, etc, using aluminium, some of the aluminium is transferred to what we're cooking and so finds it's way into our bodies, where it causes untold damage to vital organs such as the brain, kidneys, and especially the liver. When taken in a coffee enema, the aluminium is transported straight to the liver, thus bypassing the body's natural defences against such poisons.
Teflon, like aluminium, is unsuitable for cooking and should never be used in preparing a coffee enema. Safer alternatives are stainless steel, enamel ( ceramics, Le Creuset ) and for non-boiling purposes, glass, modified forms of glass such as Pyrex, pottery ( porcelain ) and wood. Although any of these alternatives is preferable to aluminium ( or Teflon ), enamel is the only truly suitable option for preparing coffee enemas. When used for this purpose, stainless steel reacts with the acid of the coffee, releasing nickel, another toxic heavy metal. Although stainless steel is preferable to aluminium, enamel leaches no such toxic elements, and is the only truly suitable option. Again, never use Aluminium or Teflon.
Although UK tap water is usually suitable for use in a coffee enema, flouridated and/or chlorinated water should not be used. Although promoted for their positive effects, these poisonous chemicals are unfit for consumption, contributing to many forms of illness ( toxicity ) and always toxifying the body. Chlorinated water kills anything subjected to it - including humans, by inches. Such poison has no place in our bodies, and although several minutes' boiling will remove the chlorine, a more complex filtering system is needed to remove flouride.
Promoted for it's supposed benefits in the field of dental decay, flouride is a toxic by-product of the aluminium industry, and has been shown to have extremely negative effects on dental health ( number of caries, etc.) as well as on health in general. Once fined for dumping this poisonous chemical into our waterways, the aluminium industry is now handsomely rewarded for it's valid contribution to our dental health, so vital as to be included in almost every toothpaste. Fluoride is also a destroyer of human enzymes.
Sodium Flouride, the extremely poisonous chemical used as rat poison and added to most water supplies in the US and some in the UK, has been shown to have an effect upon the brain that dulls the mind and renders the victim more susceptible to suggestion, but continues to be promoted by politicians the 'civilised' world over, despite such obvious symptoms of it's toxicity. Such poisons have no place in our bodies, whether via toothpaste or water. Flouridated and/or chlorinated water must not be used. Use ( and drink ) bottled or distilled water instead.
The sieve / strainer is used to separate the liquid from the grinds, the solid coffee left at the bottom of the pan. Anything fine enough to catch the grinds is suitable - from an undyed cloth strainer to a fine sieve.
Preparing for the coffee enema
The best place to take an enema is usually the bathroom as it provides easy access to the toilet and allows the enema bag or bucket to be hung over the bathtub, saving the carpet from any spillages. The person taking the coffee enema lies on the floor, made more comfortable with a pillow and towels, under which is laid a plastic sheet to protect against any spillages. For extra safety, or in the absence of any suitable plastic, the enema can be taken lying in the bathtub. This can be helpful for your first enema for it protects the floor from any spillages and allows you to relax. The pillow and towels can still be laid in the bathtub.
The enema bag is usually most easily hung from the shower-rail using some chain or twine ( strong enough to support the weight of a filled enema bag ), or from a hook or handle set in the wall. The height at which the bag is hung will determine the rate of flow for the enema. The higher the bag, the higher the water pressure. If your bag is equipped with a tap to regulate the flow, you can hang it where it's easiest to fill, and use the tap to adjust the flow to the appropriate rate. If, however, your bag has only the standard on/off clip with which to control the flow, the height of the bag is directly proportionate to the speed at which the coffee will try to enter your colon. A crucial comfort factor to say the least.
Recommended heights range from one to three feet above body level ( usually referring to the top of the bag ), but experience will show what's best for you. Many like to have books to read while taking the enema, and it's useful to have some way of telling the time. A small oven timer is ideal, but any clock visible from the floor is sufficient for timing the enema.
A coffee enema should be a relaxing, rejuvenating experience, and is a great opportunity to read inspiring books on cleansing and detoxification, and to prepare for the day ahead. Indeed, coffee enemas offer a kind of meditation on healing, and are a great time to deal with both our physical and emotional toxins. The release and elimination of physical toxins always corresponds with an accompanying release and dissolving of emotional toxins ( anger, fear, sadness ) and dealing with and eliminating either type creates an opportunity for the other to be healed.
Any detoxification of the body has it's reflection in the mind. Every emotional toxin is bonded to a physical toxin, and vice versa. The room in which the coffee enema is to be taken should be made draught-free and heated to a comfortable temperature in order to allow the coffee enema to be as relaxing as possible. You can't have an effective coffee enema lying on a cold, draughty bathroom floor.
The effectiveness of coffee enemas is also hampered by dehydration. Although the majority of people are dehydrated all the time, taking the time to drink some water beforehand can greatly improve the effects of a coffee enema. Taking a coffee enema when you're dehydrated, too soon after eating, or drinking anything other than water, for instance - can cause headaches ( a symptom of dehydration ) and worsen any janglyness caused by the caffeine, as your body is in less of a position to deal with it.
Most importantly, relax! If this is your first coffee enema, or even your first enema. Don't worry! Most people feel tense and anxious about taking their first enema, but there's really no need. Millions of people, all over the world, are taking enemas and coffee enemas, right now, at this very moment. Take your time, relax, and don't worry.
How to prepare the coffee
The basic method of preparing coffee for enemas is as follows:
Add 3 tablespoons of ground organic coffee to a quart of boiling water ( in a suitable pan ) and boil it for 3 minutes, before leaving it to simmer for 15 minutes. When the coffee's done, strain it ( through a sieve or strainer fine enough to catch the coffee grinds ) from the pan into a suitable jug, before leaving to cool, or, more conveniently, mixing with cold water in order to bring it to body temperature. This is best tested by dipping your finger into the coffee. The right temperature is about 'finger-warm'. If you do add water, bear in mind you'll have to retain more coffee.
There are two variables in preparing a coffee enema. The amount of coffee and the amount of water. The general 'serving' ( from Gerson ) is 3 rounded tablespoons, however, others, such as alternative cancer therapist William D. Kelley, recommend building from 1 teaspoon up to as much as 5 tablespoons of coffee per enema, and as many as 9 tablespoons have been used at once with no ill effects. 3 tablespoons is generally a good amount, but don't be afraid to experiment.
The amount of water used is really a matter of experience. The standard amount for any enema is 1 quart ( just over a litre ), but many cafeteros prefer full enema bags ( about twice that ). The benefits of larger enemas lies in their greater enematic effect; a full bag will allow your colon to eliminate far more than the standard quart will. In terms of coffee enemas, a larger amount of liquid should, in theory, allow for a greater absorption of the active elements from the coffee, and so a more effective coffee enema. Many people who use full bags do indeed find 'half-bag' coffee enemas far less effective. In practice though, while it's certainly worth experimenting with larger enemas, everyone has their own point to which their colon is willing to stretch, and although water enemas can be used beforehand to empty your colon, the best amount to use is however much you're comfortable with. If this is your first enema, start with a quart. Remember you'll need to retain the coffee, the recommended time being 15 minutes.
Taking the coffee enema
The 15 minutes' retention is based upon studies of caffeine absorption, which showed that in 10-12 minutes, most of the caffeine had been absorbed, and by 15 minutes was almost entirely gone. However, as you may well know, caffeine, although important, is not the crucial factor in coffee enemas' powerful detoxifying effect, and 15 minutes is not always necessary for an effective coffee. When one becomes experienced in taking coffee enemas, it's not uncommon to experience a 'kick' or push of peristalsis ( effort by the colon to eliminate ) after anywhere from 9-13 minutes, depending on the person. That seems to indicate the best time to eliminate the coffee, beyond which the peristalsis subsides. Ultimately, you'll get to know just how long you need to retain the coffee in order to benefit from it's effects, and once your liver's accustomed to coffee enemas, it will usually let you know when it's finished with the coffee.
It's generally recommended to take coffee enemas lying on your right-hand side, often with your knees pulled up, as this sucks the coffee deeper into the colon and can make it easier to retain. However, in practice, there's only one position in which to take a coffee enema. The one that works. There are as many postures recommended as there are types of coffee. Common positions for insertion range from lying on one's back, to on all fours. For retention, the emphasis must always be on what's comfortable, and can be eased by elevating the legs, breathing deeply, and massaging the colon. The latter can also help with elimination, and always encourages a greater release of toxins and mucoid debris. The enema is of course conducted into the colon via the standard rectal tip. These are usually about 2-3 inches long and made of slightly bendable plastic. At the base of the standard tip, there is a collar to prevent the tip from sliding into the colon any further than necessary. Some form of lubricant is generally used to ease the insertion of the tip, the best option being soap, as it's easily removed and eases any paranoia over cleanliness. Alternatives include KY Jelly and vaseline.
After 15 minutes, one may then expel the enema. One should not strain to hold the enema. If one feels the need to expel before the 15 minutes, one should do so. No straining of any kind should be done at any time. The whole process should be very effortless. One should expect to feel a sense of ease and well being on the completion of the enema. Should you experience jitteriness, shakiness, light-headedness, nervousness, weakness, etc... you will need to decrease the strength of the coffee solution."
Bottoms up!
