Dechristo

I'll gift ya some Methadone iffen ya needs

No, I heard it on Paul Harvey so, it's got to be true.

A buddy from a generational ranching family hooked me up with a big gelding to ride the mesa one weekend. He told me, "Watch 'im. He's gonna test ya." Then, with a grin, he said, "But, you can handle him." A couple hours up the trail, I needed a piss break. The horse had tried the usual stuff in trying to force his way, slowing and veering off to the side, bending down to grab mouthfuls of grass. A few yanks on the bit stopped that. I dismounted, but instead of tying the reins to a tree, I held them in one hand while unzipping with the other. As my stream started to flow, the horse placed a hoof on the top of my foot and began transferring his weight, flattening my foot slowly and causing my eyes to bulge. It was one of those moments of the conscious recognition of the speed of firing synapses. In nano-seconds I considered, streaming cock in one hand, reins in the other, can't move the horse with a shoulder, let go of reins: horse gone, let go of cock: piss goes wherever. I held onto the reins and pulled an Alex Karras on the bastard. The meaty part of the horse's jaw is where the two main knuckles of my fist landed with as much force as I could muster. The horse wheeled, piss flew, and I yanked the bit into the back of his mouth. We both settled down and continued on the trip with a better appreciation of the other. With the exception of him trying to wipe me off on some low branches while running through trees the following day, I found him a great horse that didn't mind deer, elk, or coyotes much, but wouldn't stand still for bears or big cats. When Sunday afternoon found us back at the ranch, Buddy asked how it went. When I told him about the Piss Dance, his eyes and smile broadened to the widest I'd ever seen either and with a laugh he simply said, "yeah, I told ya."

Congrats. I hope it expands and deepens your contentment. Now, you get to find out why partnerships, whether in business, climbing, or life, are most oft difficult.

Warren

so, you always ride alone?

nice pics

I've never broken any bones, that have been confirmed by x-ray, but I've cut and blown a few off.

Did this dilemma occur to you while tap dancing in an airport toilet stall?

it's a Snaffle-Sasquatch hybrid

OMFG!!!~Q!1 Help! a one-eyed, purple-helmeted alien with a cleft palette has erupted from my lap. what should I do?

Too many mosques in this country???

it's a one-legged scissors kick

More on the incident that has stopped U.S. diplomats from travelling outside the Green Zone for a second day and Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki's response.

While the army is at war and Americans are at the mall, will we see, how soon will we see The Day of Islam.

No fuckin' way! The last time I had one of those goddam things near my front-side I had a terrible accident.

I'm gonna pick that up

wow. open the whole thing and you've got a cheese grater

from a brewery website: For ye non followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Talk Like A Pirate Day, September 19th is the most blessed of all days to the Pastafarians, equivalent to Christians' "Christmas". This is the day where the Flying Spaghetti Monster blesses all because they talk like pirates, be they followers of the FSM or not. Obviously, to not talk like a pirate incurs horrific penalties! The Pastafarian belief of heaven stresses that it contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory. Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale and the strippers have VD. According to the Pastafarian belief system, pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians. Their image as "thieves and outcasts" is misinformation spread by Christian theologians in the Middle Ages and Hare Krishnas. Pastafarianism says that they were in fact "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who distributed candy to small children. Arrrrrrrr

my gosh, Milosh, you gave it to a poser. It was my rack.

this thread is getting meteor with every post

The elderly, I'm told, enjoy large print.