Dechristo

whoops - "monogamous"

wicked sweet

Marriage - such a quaint notion fostered in an attempt to raise the cohabitation and mating of humans above that of crude lower animals. I have my doubts all humans are rightly monoganous.

Sputnik, afterall, it is the fiftieth anniversary.

In this case, Herman is Her(own)Man

If you married Herman the Hermaphrodite

Lots of fun stuff if you go with themes as Jay has suggested: Shakespeare (or names from one work), Latin names for body parts, movie or cartoon references. Maybe combine for Pun's sake: Uvular Bells Exorcism.

bet the water tastes salty

wurd

People are jumpin' off lifts and schuss-booming on 18" of base at A-Basin at this very moment. I can see 'em with my Simon Bar Sinister telescope.

I weight forever...

The bill ...would also give the foreign intelligence court a role in approving, in advance, “basket” or “umbrella” warrants for bundles of overseas communications, according to a Congressional official.

quite a haul

Guess that makes cats smarter than you.

Is there a kitty "stretcher" available for proper installation? Still, you place the tack strip continuously around the garden, yes?

Does this work?

getting "tuned-up" with my offspring

dial-up's a bitch

Me and Mrs. Jones

chocolate lips

Just like that, eh? Even if the brilliance of the change can readily be determined to be of low luster, I wonder if this light bulb can be so easily unscrewed.

fuckers

Noat fo dee Jamaican Bohbsled Team, mahn.

'The highly-coveted peace prize was given to a US Air Force laboratory for researching what the committee dubbed the "gay bomb" -- a chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers become sexually irresistible to each other.' 'Some winners tried to explain their research but if they talked for more than 60 seconds they were interrupted by an eight-year-old girl who repeatedly intoned, "Please stop, I'm bored."'

the mechanics of repression?