Soggies suck 
  
I was sitting up at night 
I was feeling so uptight 
I was just fucking around 
There was something dragging me down 
  
Thinking of a bite to eat 
Thought this would be really neat 
Cheerios are stale that's beat 
But Captain Crunch is fun to eat 
  
Captain Crunch, Captan Crunch 
He's inviting you to munch 
Captain Crunch, Captain Crunch 
Munch a bunch a munch a munch 
  
Fuck my brain 
  
Scoffing down this yellow wheat 
Is making me feel kind of beat 
My head is spinning round and round 
Now my teeth are turning brown 
  
My face is starting to come apart 
From this overdose of starch 
I really wish mom wasn't here 
I'll have another box of beer 
  
Captain Crunch, Captain Crunch 
He's inviting you to munch 
Captain Crunch, Captain Crunch 
Munch a bunch a munch a munch