
Dr_Flash_Amazing
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Everything posted by Dr_Flash_Amazing
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Vote Trask for Your Mama!
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top 10 cc.com dogpiles Rob, you worthless sack of babyshit, you start one more lame-ass thread like this, and you've earned your place as World Champion Loser. (c'mon everybody, pile on!)
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Someone, anyone, just spill some fucking blood already!
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This is stupid...'bout as stupid as it gets...
Dr_Flash_Amazing replied to RuMR's topic in Climber's Board
That's pretty damn petty, isn't it? Plenty of top-shelf climbing talent shows up at the X-Games, or at least they used to. All those little French girls that climb so freaky hard, Lisa Rands and the usual women's comp circuit climbers, Big Frank, Mr. Sharma, etc. Are these not "real champions"? And the same goes for ABS comps, at which she's done plenty well. The World Cup circuit is just as arbitrary as anything else. Yeah, you gotta compete to win, but you also have to compete in certain comps, while others don't count toward your ranking. It's all just as arbitrary as this entire ridiculous sport. -
This is stupid...'bout as stupid as it gets...
Dr_Flash_Amazing replied to RuMR's topic in Climber's Board
Damn, you hyper-cynical elitist trad fucks make DFA want to puke up his nonfat vanilla yogurt and Kashi "7 In the Morning" cereal breakfast (and the coffee, too). It doesn't say that she's THE world-champion climber, or even that she's THE all-around champion -- it's a description, an attention-getting blurb at the top of the page. Looks like it got your fucking attention, didn't it? Anyone who's cracked open a climbing magazine knows that Tori Allen's a competition climber. In comps, you're either climbing routes, or you're bouldering, for the most part. If you do both, you're an all-around climber in the comp world (difficult concept, but try to stay with it). This kid has kicked ass at both, and not just at the X-Games, and taken other perfectly capable boulderers to school, emerging, on more than one occasion, as champion. Obviously she's not trying to claim championness as an alpinista, a wall rat, a mixed monkey, etc. The world is going to shit in a picnic basket, and you fools have got nothing better to do than tear an exuberant young athlete to little bits on the internet, over a semantic tidbit that Ken Starr would have glossed over and left alone. What a steaming lot of horse shit. -
SNNNNAAAAAAKES is now BADGERS! badgerbadgerbadgerbadger badgerbadgerbadgerbadger Mushroom, MUSHroom!
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This is stupid...'bout as stupid as it gets...
Dr_Flash_Amazing replied to RuMR's topic in Climber's Board
Jeez, they even include the signature pink rope. She looks a little beefy in Huck Doll form, though. -
That's not the end, you sodding git! You haven't the stamina to stick it out 'til the end, apparently. Back to the badgers, dodger!
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As if you've enough hair to need a stylist, punter!
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RobBob, it all comes down to how you define "getting ahead". If your idea of quality of life is giving everything you've got to your employer and being damn happy to get anything they give you in return, while never using a sick day unless you're sick, and never using your vacation days because they need you at the office, then yeah, taking your time off for all it's worth is a lousy way to "get ahead". If you're more into living your life and doing more than just working, then you're hitting the jackpot by taking full advantage of every non-working opportunity to live, be it extra dough, extra leave, or whatever. The twain are unlikely to meet, though. One camp is gonna say the other is a bunch of lazy sods with no work ethic and no right to enjoy their whored benes, the other is going to be aghast at such a bunch of dupes leashed to their desks with their neckties and unwilling to put life before company.
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What about Medio-Core? Medio-core, it's not forsaken the music they're makin' will leave you with a feeling of indifference How was the band? They were OK (Ohhh-Kaaaayyy, allll-riiiiight) they played the songs I knew they would some old, some new the same formula stays true we can't concur it's mediocre Chorus: Sing, sing a song make it simple so all the kids can sing along sing along the risk keeps growin' the melodies they've stolen remind me of songs sung in the '70s you might fool the kids but you don't fool me have you ever heard of somethin' called aboriginality? is it absurd to compose music no one's ever heard pre- dictability like a bosom will comfort the-e-em my one true foe L(owest) C(ommon) D(enominator) MEDIO-CORE! it's underpowered the riffs are all deflowered it's spreading faster than british tooth decay (MEDIO-CORE) "Are you ready to rock?" "How y'all doin' tonight?" You condescending fucks make me wanna laugh and puke at the same time I'm one to speak this song sounds like fifty you've heard before Medio-Core (Chorus)
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Psh! Sounds like the sort of thing that Amazing character might do. What a couple of loons, eh, imorris?
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badgerbadgerbadgerbadger
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Dude, go curl up in the corner with your Dwayner blanket and matching PJs and suck your thumb til you feel better. Shit. DFA's just having a good time penning short fiction for everyone's enjoyment. It's not like it was some kind of attack on the big fella or something. Relax. Everything will be just fine.
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Fuckin' A, man, you make it sound like a bad thing! People work 'cause they have to, not because it's the end-all be-all of human existence! People oughta be damn proud of doing anything and everything they can to break out of the work mold and do some fuckin' living before they're shuffling around the house with a walker, lamenting the high cost of Metamucil and Viagra. Sheeeit.
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DFA saw Dwayner on Churning this weekend. He couldn't do the crux, so he clipped into the second to last bolt, looked around kind of suspiciously, then gave the rope three quick tugs. Without a word or a moment's hesitation, Pope, who was belaying, fished a Bosch Annihilator out of his pack while Dwayner lowered his end of the rope. He quickly hauled the rock-devouring sportweapon up to his stance, and set to work on a couple four-finger letterbox slots. He then lowered off, pulled the cord, tied back in, and proceeded to send, pausing en route only to wink at the crowd and kiss his bicep mid lockoff. Quite a sight, as you might imagine. But that was nothing compared to what he did next! Clipping in to the anchor, he once again lowers the rope to Pope (rhyme!), who sends up a 7-pound mini sledge hammer. So Dwayner lowers off, and on his way down, smashes the eyes of the glue-in bolts completely flat. When he gets to the deck, he pulls the rope, strips off his Prana outfit (save for the matching headband, curiously enough), and throws the whole pile, rope, draws, bolt gun, and all down on a nearby boulder, lights it on fire, and proclaims that sport climbing is dead, and that he's tired of playing Jesus to a world of bolt clipping Judases. Was it some kind of performance art? A sociology experiment gone frightfully wrong? Or just another step down the trail of madness for an old swami-belted Goldliner with a flagging stiffy for Chouinard and an unquenchable desire to turn back the tide of change and save the modern climbing world from itself? Who fucking knows ...
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DUDE! Little America is crazy and funny! Two hours' worth of billboards advertising the 20-cent ice cream cones and all the other shit. And then all of a sudden there's this huge Colonial-looking compound and all these trees sticking up out of the middle of the most endless expanse of jack shit you ever had to sit through! And it's the most shiningly clean mega-sized mini-mart EVER! With micro brews, and Ben & Jerry's, and 50 different kinds of Ephedra capsules, and all the knick-knacks and tchotchkes. And then the frighteningly clean bathrooms, like something out of a Las Vegas hotel, with the little individual rooms for each toilet. So strange. That place needs to be the scene of some freako noir movie for sure.
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Man, lotsa those gully lurkers are like that. Sure, if you're gonna be way on top of the game, you better be bouldering V10 and be able to hang on for hours. But for most of us mortals, the enduro and a modest base of bouldering power is fine. Plus, you're gonna get stronger hauling your ass around with all that extra weight on anyway. When DFA was doing a lot of lead-wall slogging with a weight belt, he would try to throw in some dynamic moves while doing laps. Mixing those in between easy moves on good holds is a nice way to train the mental, too. Helps you realize "hey, OK, even though I'm totally flamed, I can still punch some hard moves or hang some bad grips", which is a great thing to remember when you're flailing your way to the anchors. The thing is, though, if you put in your work on that shit in the gym, you don't have to spend years projecting Smith routes. It's the clowns who do nothing but boulder and get frustrated when they can only go bolt to bolt at the crag who think it's too boring or too much work to send a route.
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How about the part where the shit plays havoc with your kidneys? Not the kind of thing you want to be taking for a long time if you want to be alive for a long time.
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Rude Bwoi, you seem to be dodging the key issue here, which is that you're putting the thing up. It's really pretty simple. DFA will holler all the "c'mon, you got it!"s you need.
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RuMR, even though you should be giving out the training beta, the Doctor will give his two cents (imagine that!). In DFA's experience, you'd be better served working the longer stuff with the added weight on. At least thus far in the climbing gig, most routes have needed more endurance/fitness than really sick power to accomplish. For example, there are hordes of people at the PRG who can boulder around V7 or harder, and are mighty strong. Yet, when out at Smith, they are hanging all over .12a (or way easier, even) because they can't do more than four or five moves in a row without getting pumped silly. Of course it doesn't hurt to have that wicked explosive power, but outside, it seems to more often come down to how long you can hold on, and how clever are you at the mental game. This is supported also by the number of people sending hard lines at Smith who don't boulder especially hard. And finally, the fitness is just way harder to come by than the power. You can get burly pretty quick, and without too much concerted effort, but you really have to work hard to get that good fitness. For what it's worth, anyway.
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There you have it! The first step down the path to fame, success, endless autograph requests, and all kinds of Prana-clad scandal! In order to bolster the foundations of your Sports Climber persona, you may want to practice some or all of the following lines in your spare time, preferably in front of a mirror, and definitely while wearing your climbing attire: "A stick clip? No, don't have one. D'you want me to put it up for you?" "Can I borrow your stick clip?" "Oh, yeah, I been on that. Didn't feel that hard." "DFA said I should get on that." "Yeah, I think I'll get it next go." "D'you need some beta on that?" "This place is such a fuckin' pile." "FUCK THIS SHIT! I FUCKING QUIT!" (best accompanied by the flinging of chalkbag, shoes, etc.)
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Dude, it looks fuckin' Grade-A amazing! The only issue is how hard? And how diaper-filling is the exposure in combination with the gnarliness? 5.7 moves with nada but air under the toes a couple hunnerd feet off le deque is not the big deal. 5.13 cruxes in same position ... Yeesh. Which is why you're leading the upper pitches, kapish?