Dr_Flash_Amazing

A fabulous weekend of almost wrapping up the planter box/trellis project, beers with Ben, and getting sick with some sort of mucous-inducing cold type of deal, and having some delicious coho salmon for breakfast on Sunday. Gorgeous weather to boot.

"[To my esteemed colleague Dr. Flash Amazing], I read them and I dont like epic stories much. Never going to Scotland so I dont really care about that either. You are talking about articles in like 3-4 different issues. I am suggesting all of that in one instead of the redundant advertising. The only good thing in those issues sometimes is the Gallery. Oh yeah and the last time I checked [my good friend] I was entitled to my opinion." DFA was just pointing out that it's not all sport climbing in there, ese. If you don't like any of the content, then say that. You make it sound like it's some evil sport climber conspiracy to keep all the non-sport content out of the mags. Fortunately for the Doctor, he likes reading about hairball alpine madness, runout big-wall tradness, dyno-hucking bouldering badness, and sicko sport radness equally. Maybe, given your disdain for the mainstream mags, you should subscribe to the AAJ or some such? Peace, vato.

quote: Originally posted by Cpt.Caveman: All they ever write about in those climbing rags is the latest sport climbing binge or speed climb on el cap type shit. How about some real in depth articles that aren't about how the crux of Dicknex in Tex 5.15a was sent by gastoning sidepulling dynoing and whatever. Here's to the climbing rags --> The regurgitated crap from them got old after one season. I get better gear reviews and climbing tips here anyways. How about the Epics issue (zero sport content), or the Scottish ice climbing article in the last issue, and wasn't there something about the Himalayas as well, and of course our very own Ryland Moore's commentary on gumby overcrowding in the mountains? Perhaps if you were to actually read the mags instead of just recycling what you heard about them ...

quote: Originally posted by chucK: ...so I went through the mail today and got this unmarked envelope from FLA. It's related to some deal from climbing Magazine. A while back they write that they'd send me a free sample issue and I could subscribe or not. I say, "cool I'll fill out this postcard for a free issue of Climbing". They send me their yearly "Gear Guide" advertising bulletin. Now they send me notes every month or so. Now this one says that it's, "IMPORTANT YOU COOPERATE WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY." And I'd better get on the stick, "In the interest of maintaining your good credit rating with us". This is SO uncool. Loser lame lousy loosaphone dude . Do all magazines do this kinda crap? Freakin' strongarm tactics . I've never had this happen before. Climbing magaziners are stupid. That's what i say. There's usually some jingus fine print (isn't there always?) with those offers, like "We'll send you the free issue, then if you don't want the subscription, call us to cancel it, otherwise we'll assume you want the subscrip, and will bill you accordingly."

Come on, that's a hardcore crag supply depot! Look, they've got stick clips, messenger bags, sweatshirts, and, uh, chalk! Everything you need to go send, um, ahh, the brick wall at Starbucks?

Good cripes, man; careful with that kind of pro-DFA talk, you're liable to get run outta here! A few of the Doctor's thoughts on chipping: Someone noted up there that the addition of aid bolts is frequently to connect freeable/protectable crack-type features. As it is with chipped holds. Indeed, the bulk of chipped routes you encounter use one or two chipped holds to connect an otherwise uninterrupted string of climbable features. Also, regarding that a chipped hold is "aid," DFA feels that this is an incorrect assertion. While a chipped hold does indeed allow you to pass over previously blank rock, it is not the same as a point of aid, which allows you to use something other than your body and rock to move up with. Hanging in your harness from a daisy chain clipped to a bolt is far easier than hanging from a half-pad, two-finger pocket. This is not to say that chipping is thus OK, it is simply to say that climbing a chipped route is still going to take a lot of burl. As posited in the originally quoted post in this thread, DFA thinks "artificial free" is a more accurate descriptor. There was also a point made by the much-maligned bolt-slinger Ryan Lawson that cleaning a route does far more damage than chipping a hold. In preparing a route, especially at Smith, one could trundle off fifty pounds of rock (obviously this varies by route), all of which goes crashing into the vegetation at the base. Chipping a hold, on the other hand, removes perhaps a tablespoon or two of rock. Clearly, however, chipping is more of an ethical than a practical issue for most people, so the above means little, however, it is still food for thought.

Fuck, Trask, you started the thread, and you're already off topic with the first post. The hell's wrong with you, son?

Shh! Shh! Dammit! The Doctor told Cogentrix to keep that quiet! *ahem* Nothing going on around here with any power plants. *whistling nonchalantly*

quote: Originally posted by AlpineK: Oh my god a personal attack. Alert the moderators. Good Lord, you're right! Someone save the Doctor from this merciless onslaught!

quote: Originally posted by Off White: He's not doing the chipping, he's just airing a dirty little secret. There's a similar thing in the aid world, with "enhanced" hook placements and all: just a few taps and twists of the drill make a hook feel much better. The issue is full disclosure, and I confess I haven't been aware of the extent to which routes routes have been manufactured at Smith. Thanks for the info though trollmeister. Actually, according to Alan Watts in a follow-up post, there is far less chipping than the Doctor makes it out to be, at least percentage-wise. All the same, it is FAIRLY common, at Smith and elsewhere. For your edification, some of the chipped lines at Smith: Churning Kings of Rap The Quickening Bongo Fury The Burlmaster Coleslaw and Chemicals (and its 5.14 neighbors) Scene of the Crime Crack Babies (a fairly aesthetic job, at least) Split Image (chipped after the FA) Go Dog, Go Blackened Scarface It seems likely that several other routes on the Aggro Wall are chipped as well, given the dubious rock quality and the length and difficulty of the lines, as well as some other routes on the Churning Buttress.

So, uh, besides several statements of fact regarding the prevalence of chipping and the fact that Dr. Flash Amazing climbs chipped routes, what's the mega-controversy you're alluding to? DFA has already been slagged relentlessly for being a sport climber and all, so how might this situation differ? Ho-hum.

Glacier's on the right track here. But Dr. Flash Amazing thinks we ought to take it one step farther (or is that one step further?). How about Survivor Iraq: Bush and Saddam in a cage with knives!

quote: Originally posted by Greg W: I'll second that. I promised I wouldn't share this with the group, as Trask is kind of shy, but this latest nomination has inspired me to share. Trask and I were attempting a new route up North; really sick, severe death potential. Well, I took the lead and was moving up some marginal ground with a dead snafflehound wedged in a constriction for pro. I got as high as I could but found that the holds ran out; I was stuck. I searched around and saw a bomber hold about 3' above my head - I had to dyno for it. I went for it...and missed. I was falling. When would the falling stop? It seemed like I fell forever. All of a sudden I was jerked to a stop; Trask had jammed a trekking pole behind a block and arrested my fall. I couldn't move, he lowered me to a ledge and downclimbed to where I was. He made a stretcher out of our packs and we made it down to a snowfield but it was too steep. I told him to leave me and save himself as the weather was turning ugly. He refused, dug into his pack and pulled out a small package. "We'll strap on the nitro and blast our way down," he said. We finally made it down and he carried me out to our vehicle. Thank you, Trask. Greg W Now who's going to submit this stark and beautifully touching trip report to the Nobel Literature Prize committee?

Trask has a taste for the arts? Inconceivable!

quote: Originally posted by Greg W: Go down to the fish ladders on the Columbia and cut holes in the nets of the indians camped out there. Gee, great idea! Systematically murdering them and remorselessly stealing their land and then kicking them off of it wasn't enough. Clearly instead of removing superfluous dam(n)s to save salmon, we should punish some of our nation's remaining Native Americans for trying to eat. Nice troll, by the way, and it even worked!

Dr. Flash Amazing is currently accepting patients at the Amazing Clinic. DFA is on the board of the National Respiratory Disease Treatment Association, and has a solid history of providing effective treatment to people such as yourself. Stop by for a consultation, and DFA will have you good as new in a few days.

Smoked salmon is one of the best foods on earth. Perhaps if we could just allow enough of them to live so there would be enough of them to catch and eat.

"To alleviate said situation and stupidity, I have ordered a pair of Anasazi Velcros. " Climb on, holmes!

quote: Originally posted by iain: look they even have NOFX on there

Yeah, definitely start hitting whatever pain meds they gave you BEFORE the thing runs out. Apparently the pain management gig is much easier when you're ahead of the game. DFA, unfortunately, started on the Codeine and then began puking, and was still quite ill all day when the numb-juice wore off. That was extremely un-fun. Hopefully you have better luck with it.

quote: Originally posted by iain: I just got my new wheels off of ebay maybe you could check there to sell it? link to my wheels You are a stone-cold pimp, no question.

Hey, looks just like DFA's shoulder! Huge-ass bandage, and a tiny hose running in there keeping you out of agony. Hopefully they gave you more than a 2-day supply. The Doctor was hurting once his ran out. Say, did they give you a pump you can control, or is it one of those little balls that just delivers a controlled, constant dosage until it empties (DFA had the latter)? And hey, what are you doing out of your sling, buster?! [ 10-10-2002, 04:08 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

quote: Originally posted by Lambone: Hey DFA, this thread is about Trad climbing, either get out or shut the hell up cheers Ha! This is hilarious. DFA tries to help this beginner person out, pisses off Fern, and now you're pissed off because Fern is pissed off that DFA was trying to be helpful. And on this message board, you're pissed about thread drift? Maybe you do need a beer, holmes.

"I am not interested Dr. Flash Amazing. Buzz off. ... I apologize if I insulted Toast, that was not my intent. Sometimes I fail to check my sarcasm and surliness. That is my problem and not anyone else's." You are not interested, and yet the Doctor's critique has caused you to think about what you say and how you say it, and to (gasp) apologize. Nice.

Sometimes ClimbX's videos don't cooperate, and after trying to play more than one or two, they usually lock up the Amazing family computer. You may need to just close your browser or restart your computer and try again. The other option is to click on the button for "Smack Community" at the bottom of the ClimbXMedia home page, and click on "Movies" (or "Videos," DFA forgets which), and find it there. Sometimes their links on the main page don't work also.