Dr_Flash_Amazing

"yeah right, we all know you were trying to hide your track marks junkie." What, like you don't spike a vein once in a while? C'mon ...

The Doctor's had his eye on that route for a while; glad RuMr has some info on it. For contrast to RuMr's beta, DFA was told by a trusted hardperson that the 5.11 slab crux was extremely heinous and blank, kind of like the bottom of Liquid Jade, but worse. S'pose there's only one way to find out ...

Someone's got the Climbing Magazine day planner!

*searching for the "shaking head and looking skyward with hands raised in wonder at a hitherto unimaginable display of duuhhhhh" emoticon*

Dr. Flash Amazing's most traumatic scarring resulted from an unfortunate PAGE TOP incident involving a cement truck, sixty feet of 3/4" copper pipe, four M-80s, and a bucket of squid tentacles. Oh, the horror.

"Then I came 2 or 3 falls away from sending Chain Reaction. Maybe RuMar or Ropegun2002 can give me the beta but I’m having real issues moving past the 3rd bolt and getting to the far left pocket. Kicks my ass every time." Here is some helpful Chain Reaction beta, from one of the Doctor's posts at http://www.smithrock.com . Disregard any steps that do not apply to you. OK, from the first bolt: - Left hand to big jug above - Clip 2nd Bolt - Right hand to arete - Slap up the arete - Feet to the right a bit, highstep right foot on arete - Right hand way up arete to good thumb catch, about a foot below horn - Switch feet on arete, keep left knee pointing left, drop right leg around right side, scumming with foot if desired. - Let go with left hand, sit on left foot, reach all the way to the horn, or the pocket below the horn, then bump to the horn. - Stand up on left foot, right hand goes to butter dish - Clip 3rd - Step left foot to square pocket on arete, lock off on horn with left hand - Scum right foot up right side of arete - Bring right hand up to thumb catch edge - Surf left hand out to jug - Slide right hand in to arete - Slide right hand up arete - Highstep right foot to horn - Left hand moves to large gaston - Switch feet (whoah!) - Chill - Right hand up to 2-finger pocket on arete - Stand up and clip 4th bolt - Left hand to bucket at lip - Feet up a bit - Slap right hand up arete over the lip - Keep going with the right hand, as high as possible - Feet way up on crappy divots - Huck for jug with right hand - Stand up to thunderous applause, clip anchors - Lower off - Say "Psh! Felt like .12a to me!" - Go get some tacos and a Negra Modelo

quote: Originally posted by rbw1966: That was underhanded Allison! The Doctor has to hand it to you two, you've really got the tacky humor gig nailed.

In the humble opinion of relatively un-head-wounded Dr. Flash Amazing, that was one of the most enjoyable pieces of tragicomic message board entertainment ever. "Oooooo!"

Let's see, here ... There's the scar on the knee from when DFA was peeling logs with a draw-knife, sitting on the logs, scooting backwards, and pulling the knife in, when ... *thunk!* ... got that knee a little too close to the log and straight into the path of the draw-knife! Didn't help that the Doctor was wearing shorts, either. Or the one on the arm from when DFA was moving the ironing board after doing some ironing in his cramped studio apartment, and the unplugged but still-hot iron tipped over and the side of the iron came to rest against the Doctor's forearm. Lesson: don't move a wobbly ironing board with a hot iron on top of it, especially if you're clumsy as hell. And then the scar/perpetual patch of dead skin on the index finger where a young and still-new-to-the-commercial-kitchen DFA was slicing carrots and neatly lopped off the corner of his finger tip. Of course, it didn't help that the Doctor pulled off the remaining flapper, which was hanging by a thread. With nothing to cover the wound up, it was still bleeding after 20 minutes of direct pressure and ice. So, off to the hospital! Of course, there was nothing to stitch closed, so the ER doc figures he'll just put some silver nitrate on there to close the wound up. It comes on a dainty little cotton swab, and sounds innocuous enough. Of course, it's just a chemical burn that cauterizes the wound - feels great on all those freshly-exposed nerves. "It might sting a little bit ..." Right, a little bit. Try "it might sting a little bit more than grinding away at the wound with a salt block." Fucking doctors. And of course the usual assortment of knee and elbow scars from various bicycle and skateboard shenanigans, and a good selection of scars on the hands from woodworking.

quote: Originally posted by Greg W: I thought that was the androgynous Dr. Flash Amazing You would impart your sick fantasies on your interpretation of this poignant and meaningful work of art. Be gone, philistine!

OK, out of R-E-S-P-E-C-T, DFA has deleted the offending material. Happy(?) Veteran's Day.

The Fighting 69th Come all you gallant heroes, And along with me combined I'll sing a song, it won't take long, Of the Fighting Sixty Ninth They're a band of men brave, stout and bold, From Ireland they came And they have a leader to the fold, And Cocoran was his name It was in the month of April, When the boys they sailed away And they made a sight so glorious, As they marched along Broadway They marched right down Broadway, me boys, Until they reached the shore And from there they went to Washington, And straight unto the war Chorus: So we gave them a hearty cheer, me boys, It was greeted with a smile Singing here's to the boys who feared no noise, We're the Fighting Sixty Ninth And when the war is said and done, May heaven spare our lives For its only then we can return, To our loved ones and our wives We'll take them in our arms, me boys, For a long night and a day And we'll hope that war will come no more, To sweet America Chorus: So farewell unto you dear New York, Will I e'er see you once more For it fills my heart with sorrow, To leave your sylvan shore But the country now it is calling us, And we must hasten fore So here's to the stars and stripes, me boys, And to Ireland's lovely shore And here's to Murphy and Devine, Of honour and renown Who did escort our heroes, Unto the battle ground And said unto our colonel, We must fight hand to hand Until we plant the stars and stripes, Way down in Dixieland Chorus: [ 11-11-2002, 11:51 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

Alright, fine, that was lame. [ 11-11-2002, 11:43 AM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

This is a swell discussion. Have a nice Friday, everyone! [ 11-08-2002, 12:58 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

quote: Originally posted by iain: there's a lot of stuff at smith I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to climb. That's one. Here's another: Huh? You could do Chain if you wanted to, given that you put in some work. It's not even an endurance issue; it's like sending a boulder problem. Close Shave, however, would require you not to be bothered by five bolts in 60 feet. Looks like a swell route, though!

2 B 1 ASK 1

Who would like the beta for the Smith Rock classic Chain Reaction?

You can do pizza, but you need an Outback Oven for that. There's a more natural freeze-dried meal that REI has (?) that's a bit tastier than Mtn. House, but bring extra salt.

Trask is a glue-sniffing compulsive masturbator with the IQ of a stale loaf of Wonderbread. Poor bastard couldn't spell his way out of a wet paper bag, and he is thus highly unqualified to be critiquing anyone else's written works. In case you're interested, though, here's the grammatical Valhalla. Try the FAQs for answers to all your spelling and usage questions.

Look who's talking Mr. KFC Customer of the Month. "Could I get that 'Extra Tasty Sloppy' with a double-order of gravy?"

quote: Originally posted by Greg W: quote:Originally posted by Dr Flash Amazing: It's sour grapes, fucktard. Either way, he's whining, ass-hound. Right, jizzbucket, but let's not lose sight of the fact that Trask is about as smart as DFA's left shoe (giving Trask the benefit of the doubt, as the left is the smarter of the pair).

It's sour grapes, fucktard.

Nuff said.

Why not save money and just shoot tuff? Or slacklining hippies, for that matter?