Dr_Flash_Amazing

You're certainly riding it pretty hard yourself.

And yet DFA, for one, is already tired of it.

Apparently not ...

1) spray about unclimbed lines (blah blah east face of Twin Spires blah blah North face of Steinbok) - The headwall above Shipwreck at Smith is sporting a couple of choice-looking steep jug-hauls. One of these days, one of these days ... 2) chestbeat about what we're gonna climb on the weekend, except now its gonna rain/snow and I'm still not gonna have climbed Canadian Border - Fuckin' mad SmithMud sendage goin' on, best believe that. Canada sux, yo! 3) talk about Gear. Do you use solid shafted Friends yes or no. What's better, chalk bag on a belt, or chalk bag clipped to harness with a biner. - Chalk bag on a belt, wiregate draws, and skinny ropes all the way! 4) talk about ethics. leashless bolt chopping, is it OK if you helicopter in. - Placing gear in chipped pockets takes the adventure out of sport climbing! 5) make up gossip about Fred Beckey/Brian Burdo etc. - Fuckin' Alan Watts says he's going to free the Pioneer Route in a day, and he's gonna do it in Fires and tube socks, with a rack of tube chocks, which totally rhymes. Hella bitchin', bra. 6) play Name that Peak zzzzzz - Long's Peak! Shishapangma! Nanga Parbat! Cerro Torre! The Monkey! 7) discuss which hand to use for which hold and rating of a 3 move butt scraping boulder traverse - Left hand gaston, lock off, right hand to the sloping two-finger pocket, feet up, huck for the incut edge. It's at least V7! 8) everyone make an avatar and post a fake trip report. - "My-a name is-a Luigi, and-a I-a climb-a di new-a route-a in-a the Alps-a. Is-a called "A pot of-a spaghetti," and is 8a+ with only-a natural a-bolts-a! Mama mia, that's a spicy route-a!" 9) Guides are Alpine Pimps. discuss. - Fuck yeah! Find your own bitch-ass way up the mountains, foolz! 10) what is a better 5.8 handcrack: Lion's Jaw, Givler's Crack, or Octopus' Garden In the Shade - Lion's Jaw is covered in good face holds. Does it really count as a good hand crack, despite being a good route? 11) lie about your climbing aility and resume - Fuckin' onsighted all the .14s at Smith in a day, then ate six cheeseburgers at the 7th St. Brewery. Woke up at six the next day and soloed The Backbone. 12) quickdrawws - should the gates face the same direction on bottom and top biners, opposite directions, or should you use a mix of aligned and unaligned. personally i use the latter. - Dude, gates opposed, gates opposed! 13) discuss whether it would be possible to traverse all 3 index peaks in a day, and if doing so puts you on the list of strongest climbers in washington. construct a list of 10 best climbers in washington and justify your choice ad nauseum. - Peaks? Like, mountains? 1. Eric Kubiak 2. Eric Kubiak 3. Eric Kubiak 4. Eric Kubiak 5-10. Eric Kubiak 14) what are the 5 best routes you have ever done in your whole life. no spraying please. - Outer Space, Chain Reaction, The Pioneer Route, Fear & Loathing, Kill The Hate 15) what was the first route you climbed? - Sky Patrol, 5.9 at the Greensprings crag outside of Ashland, Oregon. Took like 45 minutes of flailing and a lot of tension!

Jocks and their sycophantic worshipers are violent meatheads?

The Doctor is still befuddled as to how you wannabombers can be so aghast at people blocking traffic or even breaking a window, and yet you don't flinch at the thought of leveling buildings and slaughtering people.

Any kind of lock is vulnerable. Those thieving fuckers are crafty and sinister.

Just a parking lot and a Starbucks! Keep your story straight.

PAGETOP March Saturday.

What? It was a serious recommendation for a genuinely good read. One of the better books this Doctor has had the pleasure of reading, in fact. Maybe if you could tear yourself away from 'Jugs & Ammo'* for five minutes, you might enjoy some slightly more substantive literature yourself. * yes, shamelessly ripped from 'The Simpsons'

No, moron, the "pitch", as you say, was to a Mr. Mark Hudon, and it was not to simply indiscriminately dispense his holds to the first gibbering nabob to ring his doorbell, but rather to restore the majestic Plastic Cave to its former glorious splendor. As a member of the Wu Tang Clan once said, "get ya shit right!"

Actually Dru, I was thinking of the Golem of Prague who saved the Jewish Ghetto in 1580 and is reputed to lie in a cobweb covered coffin in the highest part of the Prague Synagogue just in case he's ever needed again. Kind of like a jewish King Arthur. Of course, one would think that either of these defenders might have seen a little duty in WWII, but that's a different story. DFA: while gaffe may be the appropriate term, when trolling on the internet you will find that a gaff will help you land the big ones. You'd do well to read this book if you haven't already: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0312282990/qid=1045164315/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/104-3899535-2481527?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

How big was the frame on your old steed? DFA's bike has an 18" frame.

All the peace marchers should just fly into Iraq to become Human Shields. Maybe Saddam will issue them bullseye shirts when they arrive. Yeah, 'cause peace is a stupid and worthless ideal, and the only way to solve problems is by laying waste to human lives and tearing countries apart. God forbid that humans would have figured out how to be civilized by now.

That sucks ass! There's an ad for River City Cycles (?) in the new Willamette Week with a picture of a sticker on someone's top tube that reads "BIKE THIEVES ARE BUTTHOLES!" Sorry to hear about your loss. And, not to be one to miss out on a chance to capitalize on someone else's misfortune, Dr. Flash Amazing has a mountain bike he's been looking to sell. Send a PM and/or e-mail if you want more info.

Best solution: don't pair up with someone who's hung up on retarded Hallmark holidays, thus avoiding the fiasco altogether. But back to the situation at hand; i.e. this thread is about Dr. Flash Amazing. Start your own failed/failing relationship thread in which to air your petty woes.

Sweet! Fresh monos!

Who're you calling an idiom?

A valid point, Mr. OW, but perhaps some insight into this little gaffe would help you understand why the Doctor would make such an error. I.e., you might ponder how well you keep homonymous characters of Jewish mythology and Tolkienian fantasy straight after a fistful of Vicodin with a nitrous chaser. Surely you can relate to this particular predicament?

The Character Map is a bitch to dig up all the time.

Rumor has it that some routes at Smith Rock have chipped holds on them as well!

Ah, yes, the beautiful right-wing sentiment that property and the right to shop are worth far more than human life. Keep up the good work for your corporate masters, boys; they'll see that you have a comfortable generic box in suburbia within driving distance of a shopping center, and all the genetically-engineered, artificially-preserved food you can cram down your paranoid little throats.

Quoth Trask:

Clipping your climbing shoes and chalk bag to the outside of your backpack so that everyone at Smith knows you're a rock climber.

wanted you to see this.