ivan

the babe ruth of bullshit

And holy f'in shit, that is messed up!! awww, that was just sour grapes - 1 pitch up prodigal sun we both noticed the complete lack of kermantle at the 20 m mark and spent the rest of the wall, leading or jugging, fretting about where the fuck (!) the bad part was

top 20 beyotch - surest sign yet me wife oughta dump me...

Probably more. Is it 4-6 millions Armenians died during the genocide during (?) the 1st world war? and I am not sure how many Kurds but it still goes on today. my point exactly - they're all ignoble motherfuckers, and the only ones of them i can muster sorrow and sympathy for are the kids, who soon enough will be adults and full-fledged parts of the problems themselves! there's not that much mystery as to what a decent, equitable solution to the israeli-palestianian solution would look like - but there is no political will amongst any of those cock-suckers to make it a reality, so how can we cry for any of them, no matter what the fuck they do?

since the name's not being released, i'd say no funny - a big snowy mtn shits off some snow from one of its shoulders and a troop of hairless monkeys begin flinging poo at each other...

dude, dontcha know? when you get good n' high that little green guy on the stem just talks, n' talks n' atcha!

do the turks really have any less blood on their hands, historically?

it's hard for any american to chastize w/ a strait-face anyone about land-grabbing, dontcha think? my wish, should tinker-bell be on duty and in the mood at the moment, is for these sons of abraham to sort this shit out themselves and to do so in a way that doesn't kill one more goddamn person - i don't see how that wish can be reconciled w/ any democratic goverment though, as all the sides show that democracy is as much a part of the problem as it is a solution. anyone south of 45 degrees south can suck it, far as i'm personally concerned

and why isn't that a partisan source? don't confuse me as pro-israeli please - i couldn't give a fart in a stiff breeze for any of these mother-fuckers - the only thing i see w/ clarity about the whole situation is all the parties in it are bat-shit - the video of folks attacking israeil commandoes, assholes that they may be, seems a logical explanation of why a coroner would be presented w/ plenty of stiffs w/ multiple holes in their heads, no? is your pt that the videos are pure fantasy, that the commandoes murdered gandhi-style passive resisters?

my nuts are offset - fit damn near anywhere!

can't wait for that meteor to wipe out the whole middle east and get rid of this endless fucking debacle...i reckon helen thomas can be paying a visit at the time if'n you want

you complain about propaganda, but then profer a turkish minister's analysis as the straight-dope, 'cuz like they've never bullshitted about a thing ever?

jeebus. not much of a warning however if you don't name the place. not that i'm thinking of expanding my horizons anytime soon feel free to kill the first stranger you see there in retribution!

so are pigs, but sadly pigs taste better...

how does evolutionary biology explain the concentration of retardation that is spray however?

is this where i can brag about goign from the summit to t-line sans vision n' map w/o getting lost (via my camp at illumination of course - never leave the booze behind!)?

or 2 women fucking a polar bear...

what can't autistics do? 'cept go outside when its raining?

you think we were gonna drive all that goddamn way n' pick all those frak'n cacti thorns out of us and NOT rally, bill?

read?

Trip: Z-z-z-ion - Lurching Queers Date: 5/28/2010 Trip Report: memorial day goddammit - big planz laid n' then proper weather fucked - justinp n' i were gonna throw ourselves at lurking fear in der valley, but day after day of wind, snow n' shit was 'casted, so last minute we decided to tag on an extra 12 hrs of roundtrip driving n' just head off to u-tard problem was we didn't exactly have a plan, and 20 hrs of non-stop driving through pouring rain n' darkness n' chainsmoking n' burdgundy-swilling didn't exactly clear our heads - hit zion in the afternoon w/o time to go for a wall proper, but got a pass for overnighting on moonlight buttress the next day and went off to see how far up monkeyfucker we could get - didn't end up more than a few pitches but at least it got the cobwebs outta our heads n' made passing out in the bottomless dust of the free area down by the river possible tghe wrinkle was of course the river - in febuary geoff n' i had waded it in flipflops like it weren't no-thang, but now it was 4 billion cubic feet/second n' ugly, ugly, so we had to do the single carry approach from a couple miles downriver - the climber track ain't bad at all unenucmbered but w/ a wall rack n' rope n' 2 singleledges n' fucktardton of aqua it was a relentless hell of holly 'scwacking, every species of sedentary life hostile to our passing and pulling us backwards n' scarring us for our sacrilegous oaths we emerged from the final up n' down much bloodied, but w/ the buttrees in sight long story short, i burned up the 5th of my 9 lives just a little bit later - we'd never gotten a decent topo for our route w/ any sort of decent wall beta, so didn't know the best place to haul from - ended up ferrying the ledges n' rack up the 4th class bit - justin, chain-smoker that he is, smoked my ass as well on the appraoch and therefore roared up the scramble while i was still sucking wind - i hooked up the ledges n' rack which he brought up, then he started on the big pig as i scrambled up arrived at the half-decent starting ledge to find a suspicious looking anchor in a block - seemed wrong to me, but i reasoned he'd had the bag on it for awhile now w/o incident, and when he added a cam into another block at my suggestion, i felt confident enought to attach meself to the haul line as the bag got stuck at a final ledge below and i put my ass into the effort, my first recollection was of an awful noise and immeditaely being hit by a huge weight - the next was the rush of teh anchor sling roaring on by, an awful commotion, and looking down at justin miracously holding onto one strand of it as i looked at my gri and realized i was a mouse-fart away from the plummeting haulbag plucking my ass off the ledge and throwing me 80 feet down into the talus! so yeah, shit was exciting for a few minutes, but it all ended well w/ us figuring out how to secure and then lower away the pig w/o further excitment back on terra firma amidst the swelling and sweltering heat, it was clear we needed to alter our plans - the block that had nearly crushed the both of us had crushed my nalgene, bloodied us good n' proper, covered our whole rack in deep powdery sand, thrown off our schedule, and generally confused the hell out of our sleep-adled selves down by the cool of the river i couldn't bear the thought of hauling all our shit back down to the angels landing bridge, and figured why not go actually finish prodigal sun, which geoff n' i had bailed on just 2 pitches from the top a few months back when we'd run low on time - all we had to do was hike the shit up to the base, swim the river, get good n' drunk, n' come back int he mornign! prodigal sun in the morning day 2 we made the much easier unencumbered approach w/ a water to replace what had been crushed n' started up justin on the p1 ladder up canyon towards space shot and monkeyfucker i pulled all the easy belays - the shade of the trees at the base, chain-smoking n' swilling gatorade - then the p3 belay from the city park bench, suddenly chilly in the shade justin got a shot of my taking off up our 4th pitch (p5 by the book) as the evening appraoched - i inteneded on throwing our ledges up the same place geoff n' i had done it early, just before the final bolt ladder plenty of excitement at the camping spot - justin's ledge it turned out had been damaged by the falling blockt he day before and didn't want to set up proper - i was annoyed at the general difficult of spreading out horizontally at our chosen spot - in the end it all worked out and we both passed out w/o bothering even to eat dinner it was justin's first night on a p'ledge, n' he awoke properly jazzed i finished the last bit of the books p5, hauled the pig, n' justin threw himself at the oddness of p6 i had fun w/ p7, though even the 2nd time i still couldn't sort out how to get past the last pin w/o stick-clipping it - justin made a half-hearted attempt to get me to do the exit-flaps, but i brow beat him into it as i lit up my last cigarrette and popped a green-apple flavor gummy army man into me cake-hold the park buses are a fine idea to alleviate the car-crowds topping out was exciting - sandy gully fuck-fuck-fuck on the final "pitch" which i was suddenly ecstatic i'd brought the 2nd rope up for, since we could fix it to a tree and jug up w/ the pigs, slidign in the muck the whole way - fantastically cool grooves cut into the sandstone wherever the ropes belong great topout point - holy shit, how many half-dressed hawt-chicks can hang on the same chain at the same time, half bent over, hooters a hanging out? the look down from the shoulder at the base we hiked down the uber-cool touron trail - had a hoot at the autistic chick-types gagging in horror at the sun scorched shitter where i dropped the bomb - made a fine repast of pizza n' decent beer in springdale, then passed out in the dust as the full-moon broke the barrier of the canyon n' bathed us in silver next day we decided not to climb, as my lead rope was missing most of the kenrmantl ein the middle (discovered on p1) settled for doing the tourist thing, taking in the tunnel n' driving through the slick rock as i swilled endless chalises of ice n' redwine in the cool of the mid-morning shade, then threw down, conspiciously awesome-style, just before the checkerboard mesa, to sort wall shit- a few seconds later the tour-busses began arrived - we were roundly cursed by the drivers, but holy shit tourons took easily a thousand pictures of us amidst our glittering gear, paying for the privilege (goddamit) w/ food n' beers n' well wishes - a score of heathen tongues we suffered n' smiled at, adn all good the free-return trajectory to or-e-gon through the endless backroads of u-tard and nevade went well - we spent a night in a coyote-choked field near the nv/or border, then drove the last bit in a ecstasy of pbr n' american spirits as teh cloud murk closed in and pissed on us the whole way home

if you just bivy on bare stone on the talus below dragontail there's no problem - same deal if you're doing stuart outer space is not typically closed for birdies and is open this year - there is some part of the wall that is closed currentlyf or them though, but its obscurish so no worries to you car to car sheenagins int he enchantments isn't so bad as its good trails serving them

fucking new york! on the plus side, it appears as if seth has learned to drive

what's hate filled about being sad for a nun getting denied the holy-fucking she'd been saving herself for since the carter administration?!?

i woulda respected jesus more if he could hit a curveball