ivan

the smell of rockfall brings out the pagan in me, and fear compells me then to throw the nearest virgin i can find into the fire

engineers seem to be the most agrro trundlers too

thought that was churchill? 98% of statistics are simply made up.

that's b/c you don't know how to serve them properly... w/ white wine and a fine tangy bbq sauce, preferably also w/ some down-south cole-slaw is a decent start

hate to see to people having fun....

thank god george w's set us a precedent for ignoring such things! clearly the whole world needs to legalize the yerba del diablo - but just as states seem to have to bring the usa around, so i suppose nation-states will have to individually change the global society - forutnately the taliban shouldn't be an obstacle in this case

whooping cough - what a pitching name for a disease shingles, not so much i loved the fudge shingles on my mama's gingerbread houses pertussis doesn't sound like a disease w/ the same degree of shit-consequences as tetanus n' polio

i'll be out there sunday soaking up the promised sunshine - holy shit, 2 days of no rain and maybe reachign 50!?! we might be able to free climb sumthang. need to do the brca meeting on the swiss family ledge the first decent weekend after the closure to capitalize on all those rare emotions! might remind folks there are Other Beacon-wands In the Lives of Men

the nice thing about not giving the chicken pox vaccine is: a) if they get sick you probably already had it so are immune and can laugh as their candy-asses bitch and itch and b) by the time they develop shingles as old people you'll be dead anyway

if you die b/c of a rope failure its a sign dog really didn't like you

i thought robert byrd died last summer?

You want sodden? Try sea kayaking in a light gale. did you end up w/ poison oak all over yer ballz in the end though?

"it's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" 'baggers are probably anti-pot b/c they're the types who, when they do smoke, end up drinking the bong water and running around screaming "i'm a tree, i'm a tree, i'm a HAPPY tree!!!"

yeah, mike and i saw all that shit that had come tumbling down, obliterating a good chunk of the trees in the way - i was glad not to be in the neighborhood i woulda been out there 2day but my shit's still wet nothing stays clean out there unless its done quite regularly - not bitching about it really, explains why aiding's often easiest - i think most of the obscure lines in the book weren't done more than a few times and were just cleaned then enough to get it done - so by that rationale, only free climbs that have the potential to be done a bunch are worth cleaning much - jensen's rectum probably fits the bill - you can downclimb the ridge over the railing, then you'd need just a single rap anchor to do a double rope rap to the pipeline headwall anchor omfg my oozing skin makes me want to hurl

"they don't grow up, ma'am, they just get tubby"

I'm a bit confused here. I thought we were climbers? fuck, i have patches of zombie flesh popping up all over me - poison oak, a poignant reminder that, if god exits, he's a malicious asshhole

to stoke up righeous indignation, can i at least make a credible cause for bolted anchors along this side? the current inability to rap down to any of the rts downridge of big ledge consigns them all to oblvion - i'd like to be able to go from that big switchback in the trail to a pt just about the jensen's nothc, then plumb down from there...

seeing's how it's not out of the realm of possibilities that some other motherfucka done did it in the way'back era, it could actually have another more legitimate name - i was just, ya know, trying to stick w/ a theme, given that these 2 pitches i've done are a species of variation of jensen's ridge (apparently a very old route at beacon too, and wicked proud for those old boys) - jensen's ridge, rimjob, and rectum - the rectum fits too, as a descriptive - it was pouring muddy water y-day, albeit not quite body temp i doctored this photo of joe's i found online to show those rare-climbed lines on the taint-end of the bacon-wand - orange is jensen's ridge, red is jensens rimjob, yellow is jensens rectum (the skull is where a lot of blocks need to get cast off when a belayer's not below) - pink is pipeline is the access to the rectum and green is pipedream, which i need to do again and look at the top out from there...

i'm guessing, based on the pix at least, you didn't do this climb today?

no fair climbing in alaska!

yeah, gotta get mike to take that one - the video of the waterfall on the trail is worhtwhile jeebus, 24 hrs later half my shit is still wet

mike took some videos that shows shit about right - wtf though, can't figure out how to make facebook videos work? [video:facebook] [video:facebook] [video:facebook]

Trip: Beasodden Rock - Jensen's Rectum (fa? III+, 5.8 C1) Date: 1/16/2011 Trip Report: that perplexing puzzle persists, why can't i put a beacon wand report in its proper place? the hibernal bear hug of perpetual gray and gloom and damp has desended on the rock, and getting up something new required quite the plan, albiet one that fell together rather haphazardly and w/ rarely a real goal in mind i clibmed jensen's ridge proper w/ that rock-animal powderhound at the beginning of the fall or thereabouts, and was reminded of a line to the right of what i'd called jensen's rimjob a few years back- it turned out to be a fun line, one that would be spectacular in summer conditions, but whose isolation ensures it will be forever neglected unless rap anchors are put in for those who can't climb thin, hard, dirty 5.11+ or aren't dumb n' ornery enough to do a long aid pitch moof a bit more than a year ago on jensen's rimjob - the rectum rumbles on down just to his right where the brush is (well, was.. ) bored n' lonely, somewhere not too long after the jaunt w/ the 'hund, i found myself soloing the first pitch of fresh squeeze, oft tr'ed but rarely led - i couldn't do it w/o some hammering, though even a hammer is little help in the Great Land of Razorblade Blocks bit halfway up - i left my static line fixed, figuring i'd be back sometime soon turned out to be a couple weeks, weeks spent recreating n' boozing n' working n' doing god knows what in something like the reverse of that order - beaconben wanted to get after it, so up my rope we went, planning on the pipeline headwall and maybe somethign up above that - i threw all the big cams and the ironmongery in the bag, and watching him lead out, happy that for once i didn't have to do it my yosylm future fellow-inmate-to-be ben on the pipeline attack! a fun pitch to follow too, requiring 2 lower-outs, just above the arena's roof - jensen's rectum follows that plumbline up to the trail unlike y-day, the sun actually came out occasionally between bouts of rain it got to raining hard that day, so i left my 2 lines fixed to the newish anchor up there at the great stance, 10 meters below jensen's rimjob - i cast off a souvenier from the silver crow line on the way down from the rap through the arena of terror's rooftop never fails to please... so it was the plan to return soon and do the new line -the big shrubs throughout made it pretty clear it would either be a first ascent, or the first in a real long time - but the winter setin something fierce - mike and i made an attempt to get up the fixed lines but in anything like a breeze the result was total, abject horror - before too long it was almost time for the closure, so even w/ a crap forecast, rainwise, w/ calm called for i resolved to get it done or cry trying we fortified ourselves w/ some kalifornia-kandy and began the big jug apparently it had snowed a good deal last week - the trail along the base required kicking in some steps the fattest boy goes first - between the rain and the rope, i conspired to thoroughly soak myself, as well as tear the shit out of my hands... the rain built and built, and by the time mike had followed up, i'd gotten the ropes n' rack sorted and set out, knowing we'd bail if i hadn't gotten out of reach by the time he arrived and Starting Making Sense - the pitch off the pipeline ledge is crazy cool, a great coursing waterfall in wet conditions, slathered in thick lichen - in summer, if you could rap into it, it would probably be a super-classic, maybe 5.8 once cleaned off? fantastic exposure and well protected, especially if you have 2 #5 camalots after 10 meters you gain the sloping ledge that leads over to jensen's ridge & rimjob - i kept going strait-up what is a delightful steep finger crack w/ good feet - it needed a bit of gardening to get out the thick branches, but now is a free-climbing jewel to be had - above that it would have been easy to freeclimb over to the Yellow Cave that lets you escape onto jensen's ridge, but in the horrid, pouring wet, i had to instead do a penji - 35 meters from the pipeline ledge anchor i hit the notch in jensen's ridge, a half rope length from the trail - mike got the joy of doing that bit, which normally is just a couple feet of real climbing and then delicate brush pulling through poison oak, but on this occasion required several bizarre species of aid-climbing to be survived, all ably done by mike as i shivered in my sodden state, sipping on hot honied tea the walk down the trail was memorable, rainwater swilling about the soles of my feet - a raging waterfall running over the last bit of the trail - it turned out my plan for getting into dry clothes consisted simply of drinking pbr the whole way home lookig forward to going back inthe summer - there's a much more pure, direct finish to be done to the trail, but at the moment several hundred pounds of dangerous blocks are in the way... Gear Notes: camalots: 1-2 #5, 4, 3, 2, 1, .75 aliens: 2 yellow, red, green, 1 blue double set of off-set nuts

new beacon line? - maybe it was done before, but it woulda been clinton-era at least - calling it jensen's rectum

sure - few mamas can make it past 6 months of course, 'especially if they're working...