ivan

no fair climbing in alaska!

yeah, gotta get mike to take that one - the video of the waterfall on the trail is worhtwhile jeebus, 24 hrs later half my shit is still wet

mike took some videos that shows shit about right - wtf though, can't figure out how to make facebook videos work? [video:facebook] [video:facebook] [video:facebook]

Trip: Beasodden Rock - Jensen's Rectum (fa? III+, 5.8 C1) Date: 1/16/2011 Trip Report: that perplexing puzzle persists, why can't i put a beacon wand report in its proper place? the hibernal bear hug of perpetual gray and gloom and damp has desended on the rock, and getting up something new required quite the plan, albiet one that fell together rather haphazardly and w/ rarely a real goal in mind i clibmed jensen's ridge proper w/ that rock-animal powderhound at the beginning of the fall or thereabouts, and was reminded of a line to the right of what i'd called jensen's rimjob a few years back- it turned out to be a fun line, one that would be spectacular in summer conditions, but whose isolation ensures it will be forever neglected unless rap anchors are put in for those who can't climb thin, hard, dirty 5.11+ or aren't dumb n' ornery enough to do a long aid pitch moof a bit more than a year ago on jensen's rimjob - the rectum rumbles on down just to his right where the brush is (well, was.. ) bored n' lonely, somewhere not too long after the jaunt w/ the 'hund, i found myself soloing the first pitch of fresh squeeze, oft tr'ed but rarely led - i couldn't do it w/o some hammering, though even a hammer is little help in the Great Land of Razorblade Blocks bit halfway up - i left my static line fixed, figuring i'd be back sometime soon turned out to be a couple weeks, weeks spent recreating n' boozing n' working n' doing god knows what in something like the reverse of that order - beaconben wanted to get after it, so up my rope we went, planning on the pipeline headwall and maybe somethign up above that - i threw all the big cams and the ironmongery in the bag, and watching him lead out, happy that for once i didn't have to do it my yosylm future fellow-inmate-to-be ben on the pipeline attack! a fun pitch to follow too, requiring 2 lower-outs, just above the arena's roof - jensen's rectum follows that plumbline up to the trail unlike y-day, the sun actually came out occasionally between bouts of rain it got to raining hard that day, so i left my 2 lines fixed to the newish anchor up there at the great stance, 10 meters below jensen's rimjob - i cast off a souvenier from the silver crow line on the way down from the rap through the arena of terror's rooftop never fails to please... so it was the plan to return soon and do the new line -the big shrubs throughout made it pretty clear it would either be a first ascent, or the first in a real long time - but the winter setin something fierce - mike and i made an attempt to get up the fixed lines but in anything like a breeze the result was total, abject horror - before too long it was almost time for the closure, so even w/ a crap forecast, rainwise, w/ calm called for i resolved to get it done or cry trying we fortified ourselves w/ some kalifornia-kandy and began the big jug apparently it had snowed a good deal last week - the trail along the base required kicking in some steps the fattest boy goes first - between the rain and the rope, i conspired to thoroughly soak myself, as well as tear the shit out of my hands... the rain built and built, and by the time mike had followed up, i'd gotten the ropes n' rack sorted and set out, knowing we'd bail if i hadn't gotten out of reach by the time he arrived and Starting Making Sense - the pitch off the pipeline ledge is crazy cool, a great coursing waterfall in wet conditions, slathered in thick lichen - in summer, if you could rap into it, it would probably be a super-classic, maybe 5.8 once cleaned off? fantastic exposure and well protected, especially if you have 2 #5 camalots after 10 meters you gain the sloping ledge that leads over to jensen's ridge & rimjob - i kept going strait-up what is a delightful steep finger crack w/ good feet - it needed a bit of gardening to get out the thick branches, but now is a free-climbing jewel to be had - above that it would have been easy to freeclimb over to the Yellow Cave that lets you escape onto jensen's ridge, but in the horrid, pouring wet, i had to instead do a penji - 35 meters from the pipeline ledge anchor i hit the notch in jensen's ridge, a half rope length from the trail - mike got the joy of doing that bit, which normally is just a couple feet of real climbing and then delicate brush pulling through poison oak, but on this occasion required several bizarre species of aid-climbing to be survived, all ably done by mike as i shivered in my sodden state, sipping on hot honied tea the walk down the trail was memorable, rainwater swilling about the soles of my feet - a raging waterfall running over the last bit of the trail - it turned out my plan for getting into dry clothes consisted simply of drinking pbr the whole way home lookig forward to going back inthe summer - there's a much more pure, direct finish to be done to the trail, but at the moment several hundred pounds of dangerous blocks are in the way... Gear Notes: camalots: 1-2 #5, 4, 3, 2, 1, .75 aliens: 2 yellow, red, green, 1 blue double set of off-set nuts

new beacon line? - maybe it was done before, but it woulda been clinton-era at least - calling it jensen's rectum

sure - few mamas can make it past 6 months of course, 'especially if they're working...

miss ya man - you're just hte kind of guy to savor the sodden jaunt i had today

got my beacon fix in today - holy fuck it was wet

i want to read his complete autobiography that just came out, just can't see forking over the cash just yet

speaking of twain, my favorite literary discovery of the week, twain's "war prayer," found amongst his unpublished 'scripts after his death: "O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle -- be Thou near them! With them -- in spirit -- we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it -- for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen."

Thanks, this made me laugh. Mark Twain said something like there is no reason to live past 55; I'm beginning to believe it. I'm way too serious anymore, comedy and drugs don't work much, climbing seems too narcissistic, and sex seems to be too much hassle, even with myself. I guess I should try volunteering next; although, I have been told they don't need more bodies, just more money. goddammit larry - i'm climbing at beacon tomorrow - come keep me company!

great link - this link might work better? - every right thinking pdx wannabe aid-climber has st peters on the must-do list...

new sig: henry david thoreau on downers, dammit

had a funkness i think, but it was a ghetto-one most likely - i'll take you w/ me next time - the picture doesn't do it justice - there's a wierd angle in there that kept me from yanking on it in the right axis - i'd just about destroyed the swaging at the eye already, so figured why worry? that route is a treat and, if it's futures continues as its past predicts, my 'hawk will still be ready for service in 2030, long after the heathen gods have swept us all away

someplaces though the goddamn tomahawk gets in such that you just can't get at it to get it back out - this motherfucker became a permanent addition to dirty double overhang (though you'll notice i gave the surronding rock plenty of love to make it not so)

they also existed in a state of essentially continous warfare w/ their neighbors

ain't that the truth! ole'gregoire's proposed budget for next year will take 5k$ from me if it goes through if all animals were equal, why can't they all taste like bacon?

if, hypothetically, the cause of the increase was covering the retarded, elderly, unemployed, chronically ill, folks w/ pre-exiting conditions and children, are you saying that you'd just rather have the 65$ than help out?

even more when he looks like the joker

man larry, i don't THINK pink was trying to call you out! it would be nice to hear what the man has to say to your post though, old boy. i know a # of older folks who've been unable to get a job anywhere after months and years of looking...

conservatives generally need more than 10 seconds to jerk off in the shower b/c, let's face it, that mental image of jesus's ma just ain't that good

wtf were blueblockers?

"You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns, you shall not crucify mankind upon a cross of gold!"

fuck, why the tr on an interesting beacon climb i haven't done just days before the closure, when i still have to salvage my shit off the pipeline?!

nice, sounds like there's an even more interesting tr to be had there