ivan

show me your internutz searching skillz are better than mine - i recall recently reading/hearing a study that showed the very opposite, but didn't find it in the 30 seconds i allowed myself to look for it

just 'cuz they killed the luddites don't mean they were wrong why dontcha put a link to it right here homey?

podcast? some of us more respectable types gotta work 'round then

hell, plenty of john stewart n' bill maher fans are having a good laugh about it NOW how can you not, were all dog-meat in a few years no matter how the ball bounces!

Where did you get that idea? The web? i suspect the government told him

unlike that yahoo jonathan swift?

sounds like my solution to the red devil's oil leak

imagine if it was just tvash, kkk, jayb n' prole couped up in the can for 2 years? sign me up! i assume they had booze? it WAS in russia...

great illustration of terminal and lateral moraines!

the wife?

7 billion meat-puppet population problems? nature finds a way, says doc malcolm!

Trip: Orygone - Abraxas and Farious Vailures Date: 10/30/2011 Trip Report: jogging jesus in a goddamn sequined gym-suit, i've been overtaken in the tr-department by a no-doubt teetotaling clean-livng californicator who can't seem to go a few days w/o running a mountain marathon and then crafting a wordless tr about it! a humorous version of the old tortoise and the hare story really, w/ me ironically cast as the rabbit, staked to a huge-lead all of a sudden a few years back, and content ever since to contain my amoral adventures to just them that had some humorous angle or vague sucess to warrant them... had a good kick-off to the summer in kkkalifornia meself, finally cluster-fucking my way up el capitano, but then fell into a hohum cycle of binge-drinking and minor adventuring, battling w/ the beatards, wrangling kids along the coast a'camping, and generally living the life of a half-awake hero at some point mid-summer met up w/ tvashie for a 2nd shot at thin red line - our first time i'd gotten dog-sick sleeping on the slabs after fixing the first 3 pitches - this time pat had been practicing the retard-art himself a bit, and got to do some leading the polymath professor cleaning p1 him having fun, falling n' flailing in good style, on p2, where his homemade cheater stick saw service what a loser i am - how did i forgot the horror-show-for-fat-asses that was p3? huge blocks all stacked and overhanging, no choice but to dry out my dumptruck sized ass on them, then the wierdness of having to go back down to an anchor after traversing across more trash? pat cleaning it... we had quite the hoe-down on the highway that night, having fixed to 3 - hundreds of mozzies in a handful swipe - bug nets are for rock stars! the next morning we jugged back up in good form yeah, then the wheels fell off my wagon - started up 4 and just couldn't get excited - climbed up to a slung stunted tree, didn't like the shitty pro on the blocks i hooked past towards the traverse crack which seemed to be missing a bunch of pins - shoulda been wearing free shoes - couldn't get the thought of falling, ripping the blocks and falling all the way back down to the belay, maybe killing pat in the process - he wasn't excited about leading it either, so we bailed to crag on the lower liberty crack....there'll be plenty of summer for something else suitable for sure, i thought? but then it was the last weekend of summer - shit! weeeeell, i'd been wanting to repeat the ne butt of jberg for some time, and it worked out that the notorious 'nastia, over-stuffed w/ alpine adventures of late, and a revivified tvash were game it had all the hoofmarks of a hellacious beat-down from the git-go: angry yuppies in seattle traffic and a gas-pumping incident that left me fearing for my life anytime i struck a smoke in the backseat the rest of the trip we had a beautiful forecast, and were up and at it to the tunes of the squirrel nut zippers at dawn as the lot filled up w/ degenerate mounties the plan was to reproduce my trip w/ josh from years gone bye - overnight up at the start of the upper glacier, then down by dougs direct the next night - but holy shit, i managed to fuck this one up too - coulda just looked at my original tr and the nice red line showing where we went, but some motherfuckers just can't take anything seriously, and so soon after commencing the slide-cedar'swack we got off-route, losing time n' swatting 'skitters till it was clear we'd gone and fucked up our window for getting to camp - luckily i had plenty of burgundy back in the car to drink that failure over properly the next morning, betaless and under a strict timegun, we could think of no better plan than to run up to cache-col and see if we could scramble up magic mtn before we had to make tracks for home - great hike but reaching the base of magic we realized we didn't have nearly enough time to tackle the climbing required - we settled for baking in the sun and passing around smokes in the shade of our impromptu heat-shields september passed - school set in - settled for beatardia and the pleasant site of elk and jim opdycke howling at the hills, but then early october was in and i made my annual visit to an oregon adventure crag - wolf rock. great time for a short weekend, but the weather was uncooperative and we had to work hard to salvage things - a big ass route up that middlish area w/ only a handful of bolts but plenty of moderate fun, then an afternoon of hiding from the drips down under the arch - i was happy we didn't have to go w/ Plan B, as i was fairly sure i'd end up a goddamn wild animal all over again good times that 2nd night - roaring bonfire - justinp made an appearance - bacon and grilled onions - more beer n' wine than an honest god-fearing man can stand - i resorted to self-photography and thought about the team-building excercise i'd attended a few days earlier my spirits were suitably dampened the next morning when the rain-storm burst and our campsite reverted to the seasonal bog it must be, my down bag busy sopping up the 4 standing inches of water on the tent floor a couple weekends later pat n' nastia and i thought the portents for a coe glacier romp proper - we rambled up the elliot moraine and sauntered over to below the snow-dome to have a dry camp before the adventure it poured rain all night - pat snored - i blew dehydrated lasagna gas out my ass literally every 30 seconds for 8 continuous hours - god knows what 'nastia did, but i doubt it involved sleeping ultimately that fine plan went all to hell too - relatively late start to allow route finding - good conditions, but never could find a spot to get down to the route base that didn't seem stupid - eventually after a good bit of poking around we wandered up the sunshine route, me growing bored and soaked well below the horseshoe and heading down to have a nap while the dynamic duo kept failing upwards - it was worth it just to watch nastia nearly kill herself coming back down the elliot moraine shit, at this point, coulda had that nike-nerd a few tr's behind me if i'd wished to rollick in ruinous prevarications, but i thought i'd insist instead on a more honorable, and for that of course i'd need a fucking rope-gun, so dime-a-goddamn dozen 'round here and yet still too rare to find unengaged of a sunday the plan was abraxas - i do the aid, powderh'und does the man-work tombstone crack. fuck your mother. would have a permanent line of 3 parties at a time and blazing chalk-white edges if it was a little closer to terra firma and not guarded by 2 pitches of aid chossmaiteering bryan at the end of our first pitch - basically do any of the # of pothole half-pitches, then hop over the anchor, do some fun climbing past some bolts to a bit of gear and a traverse at an anchor almost 60 meters up - yosemite length pitch! i got the next 2 pitches, best shortfixed together - no gear needed on the first one if you have a stick-click and not too much on the 2nd either - a couple offset nuts, a brassie, a #4, #1 and that's about it - the 'hund cleaning below our 2nd belay i wasted time as i needed to fix my dr suessian cheater stick - so proud was i of crafting it the day before, having managed to non-disclose to the good folks at art-media that my intent for the 10 feet of artist's aluminium tubing i requested was likely outside of warranty or common-sense - i made good time w/ it at first, but managed to cross-load the taped-open gate after fighting the bob dole effect for minutes - i was harldy suprised when i began falling - the bolt was shit, my biner was shit, the cord i choose was shit - think rei will take this back? 3rd pitch was fun enough - more bolts, some even occasionally decent, to a fixed pin and gear in a steep crumbly section - mandatory free after the last bolt requires forethough as to how to escape your etrier - brian cleaned quickly, eyes on the tombstone prize just above us now cool terrain - luckily the climbers had cleared out below as you can't help sending down chunks "you can never tell what a chinaman is thinking, that's why he always bests you in cards" and he's off! gnarly start to a 10d, 140 ft, near constantly overhanging, continuous handcrack - Our Boy did well - no falls and only a few hangs it just keeps getting better wish i'd had the time n' cajones to be able to follow it free, but it was most prudent to just jug it, arriving at the anchor on a great golden godamn ledge, basking in the last rays of sun fast setting behind misery ridge we stopped to smell the scenery and catch our breath we were unsure if there was any sort of anchor up on the false summit and had heard what might be there was shit - didn't look like much more than some easy choss-wrangling, and w/ another mandatory mountaineers-delight pitch to the true top, we opted to rap from there - need a 2nd rope, and the pull ain't exactly easy, but it's easy enough and in 3 raps you're down - we packed up and walked out in the dark, drinking fine beer and hooting at the stars last view of the money pitch on the way off swinging back in to the 2nd rap station sunset in the big bend down by the land of the golden eagles hard not to like the desert... so, in the time i took to write this, i see the running man has scored again - thank christ for the sweet snows and maybe, just maybe, that and a serious veneral disease will keep him off the charts for awhile! dog forbid i should have to go back to glorifying beacon-beat-offs as trip worthy trips Gear Notes: for abraxas: single set of aliens, green to red 2-3 .75-1 as many #2s as you can manage - think we had 7? 1 #3, #4 single set of off-set nuts, plus a couple of small brassies Approach Notes: over hill and dale

any chance this might make them start making shoes that actually fucking fit my clown-feet?

two laps - corner/treats/uprising and crusing/corner/youngwarriors - only a little wet on the ramp pitch - cool and calm

ann coulter thinks the left is trying to push out cain? holy shit, who WOULDN'T want to run against him? if he could convince bible spice to be the vp nominee again it'd be peeeeerfect

meow. why can't this be closer?

thinking about doing a solo lap today steve - was it dry stone yesterday?

ronald reagan - it's not a constitutional requirement that you be alive to be president, is it?

fawk yeah dave! and shit...i knew turbines were dangerous for birds....but bears too?

how'd you bail from stoner ledge?

well i know you can't work in fast food all your life... [video:youtube]

nothing like cops laughing at the hippies they're trussing up like turkeys gonna be reaaaaal hard feeling bad for them when the bad shit starts happening to them too?

damn dood, i had to solo that afternoon - shoulda stayed about for 30 minutes! wasn't so windy you couldn't get a butt lit

if you perchance were to make him meet a misfortune, i'll take his drill n' hangers of yer hands for 20$